Does my co-worker has a crush on me or just friendly?

[bobalife]

I met some really cool co-workers in another dept at the end of last year. I told them they’re like “work family” to me and I gifted them each one of them a single gift for the new year that made me thought of them with thoughtful cards I had written 🥹🫶🏻 Surprisedly, in the following week of the new year, one of my male co-workers in that department bought me a bunch of cute stuff in a gift bag for me… I was very surprised, but touched and happy. I was not expecting anything because I just wanted to give them something to feel special and recognized what they mean to me. It made me remember before he gifted me this… he was giving me overly compliments at work about my personality and he started messaging me a lot on Instagram.

However, he stopped messaging me a lot and was abit distant after the gift giving. The following week, I recall he was talking in a low volume with two of the girls co-workers about how his ex and him reconnected where she wanna get back with him while he just wanna remain friends and he has a girl crush he cares about more. He was asking them on advices. I thought to myself why didn’t he include me in the conversation and wanting to respect his space. But I also don’t think that girl crush he is talking about is me. I don't know how I feel about him with our age gap and other things. But I really like him as a person. I’m just curious as he gifted me really cute things and then became abit distant. After that weird week, he was back to normal at work. But we don’t talk as much as we used to lol. I’m also very busy at work. Tbh I don't know why he brought me those gifts since he never shared why….

[Still-alive]

Ill take a stab. by the way i like your questions a lot. Pretty refreshing i gotta say!

anyways i got two guesses as to whats up with this guy either 1) he truly only returned the favor as a friend thing 2) he’s either talking to or crushing on someone else.

i could be wrong but these both check mark the reasons why he isn’t talking to you as much anymore.

[bobalife]

Oh why thank you! What makes you say it’s pretty refreshing?

Hmmm, in other words, you don’t think he’s interested in me after all? He did slowly started msging me again but it’s more short and still likes my Instagram stories. I also have been shorter with him and has always kept it more friendlike. Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s getting at this “girl crush”. I’d figure he’s emotionally all over the place and unavailable, which I’m not into lol.

[bobalife]

Well is it normal for a male friend to do this to buy a bunch of cute stuff to just return the favor as a friend?

[Still-alive]

To answer your first question: its been a bit slow and quiet around here lately. I also feel like a lot of the questions people ask are too samey and lack originality but just my opinion.

Anyways to actually answer your question: yeah ill say he might have had a passing interest at first cause yeah buying you a bunch of cute stuff kinda makes me think he was interested but he quickly moved on to another girl in his sights. It happens right. I been there where a girl gave me all this attention then suddenly she's cold… come to find out she was talking to another guy lol.

I dunno in the end i would say trust your gut, if its telling you he’s not interested then i say listen to it. You’re the only one who truly knows the full picture here despite your thorough explanation.

[bobalife]

Maybe G@G just need a little bit of Bobalife magic~ hehe. I’ve been away for too long it seems. What do you mean by slow and quiet here though?

Thanks for being so thorough and honest, I appreciate it a lot that you take your time to respond to my questions and to trust my gut!!! 🥹

Well, my gut tells me that he’s attracted to me, interested, and was testing the water… but I didn’t show signs I was interested, we also have an age gap + we’re co-workers, he was in a weird tanglement reconnecting with his ex who’s tryna get back with him and has stronger interest with another girl he knew before me and I’m sure more, and he’s probably shifting his focus more onto the other girl and back peddaling with me who he probably realized he’s not in a good place to figure things out and maybe it’s best to not messed up our co-workership.

However, I just wanted GAGs advice and opinions to be open for new insights :)

I also don’t really know how I feel about him since we just met in Dec and only see each other here & there. I did ran into him this past week and for the first time for a sec I thought he was kinda cute lol. Maybe it was the way he looked at me and he was full of good energy like he used to be. But I was so busy and tired, I told him I couldn’t really talk much and had to go back into my duties.

[Still-alive]

hmm well if you think there's something there maybe ask him out? only real way to be sure lol. or maybe try to find excuses to talk to him so you can gauge his body language and such with you. see if you still feel there's interest there in you.

just a thought

[bobalife]

Hahahhaa NOOOOO NOOO NOOO!!! I was telling you all of this because I’m saying I don’t even know how I feel about him!!! 😅😂 he’s my co-worker and friend… I don’t wanna risk it lol. I’m sure I’ll see him tmrw at work because I usually try to stop by his dept to say hi to him and everyone there on Mondays if I get a chance. But I don’t think I wanna test the water like that… 😅😂

Honestly my gut tells me that he probably has some level of interest, but he’s just backpeddaling to be safe, he’s not in a good place emotionally, and there’s another girl he’s more interested in :) I also prefer a man to lead about asking me out. The way he looked at me, talked to me, and his energy this past week reminded me of the way he looked at me and talked to me before when he gave me those gut feeling he’s attracted to me lol.

[bobalife]

Maybe it’s weird but even if I did became attracted to him… for now, I really just wanna be good friends. It’s always nice to have good people to be friends. I don't know if I wanna ruined it to become romance and not worked out when we can have a good friendship. I’m not really good at going from friends to romance because of things like this lol. He seems like a really good person I’d wanna keep in my life.

[Still-alive]

lol ok ok don't ask him out... but i would say just casually talking to him might still help give you a better idea.

i thought of another possibility which is maybe he's unsure you are into him and so he's focusing his attention on another girl maybe giving him that attention more? i dunno.

[bobalife]

Are you trying to match me up with him? 😆

Yeah, I don’t think he knows if I’m interested or not. For ex, I recall when we used to msged a lot… I literally talked to him as a normal friend and he randomly sent me a pic of him at the gym… I remember thinking to myself, wait why did he do that…. Only guys who’s interested in me has done this…. 🤣 I wasn’t sure if flirting was a good idea and I don't know how I feel about him, so I remain to keep friendly responses. But yeah I feel like he tested the water by sending me that haha.

[Still-alive]

im not trying to match you, i guess im just engaging in how you are thinking and feeling with this situation. getting to the bottom of it. i think im settling on: he might be a tad interested but is likely into another girl more. so maybe you should just remain friends. yeah you don't want to date him then if it doesn't go well its all awkward at work where you're trying to be professional and earn your money lol.

[bobalife]

Absolutely, I think it’s for the best right now… and I appreciate you for being here :) I don't know, I think I really wanna keep good people in my life… I don't know if it’s worth risking a friendship if romance might not worked out… and I don't know if we’re compatible with our age gap lol. But we are similar with our positive and high energy. I’m also sure he would be a good boyfriend. But I wouldn’t know if we’re for each other kind of thing lol. And he’s also more into someone else right now. I’m also sure he knows I’ve went on dates with other guys from my instagram stories in the past month lol. But he never asked.

[bobalife]

by the way was I right or wrong about him testing the water with the gym pic? Lol

[Still-alive]

np. :) how big of an age gap we talking here by the way? just curious

[bobalife]

Hahahahhaa oh goodness… I’m 35 and he’s 21🫣😭😂 I don’t mind being open to a little younger, but that might be too big of a gap? Lmao.

[bobalife]

22*** loool

[Still-alive]

oh yeah the gym pic is a bit odd. so somewhere in him is a guy who might be interested lol

[Still-alive]

oh i totally though you were gonna say older there lol. whoa ok then yeah younger... i dunno he might also just be into you for sex tho at his age. just saying lol

[bobalife]

I can’t with you😂😂😂 right? The gym pic was so random!!! Lol!!! We were like having a causal friendly conversation. Then, he sent me a random pic at the gym. It wasn’t of him but just the equipment. But still.. I don't know I feel like that’s kinda showing some type of interest?

Yeah now you understand my hesitation and uncertainty about the age gap right? Lol! Yeah but I don't know, he didn’t give me the vibe he wanted to hook up with me lol. Whenever he did complimented me before, he would go overboard about my personality and stuff lol. I think the overly compliments made me felt like he was into me because he was really attentive and thoughtful about me as a person.

[Still-alive]

welp i think in the end i would still say just stay friends cause he's a coworker. don't want that unnecessary awkwardness if it doesn't work out.

[bobalife]

I think we both concluded he’s just slightly interested and there’s someone else he’s chasing. And I didn’t really show much interest for him to hold onto either 🙃

[bobalife]

Very true indeed

[Still-alive]

yes. so hope this helps you out lol.

[bobalife]

Wait, the random gym pic even though it was just equipment was interest right?

And yes, you were very helpful and fun to talk about this :)

[Still-alive]

i dunno i feel like i would need more context around the picture. if its not a selfie or his body or something im not sure i can conclude he's interested with that. maybe he was just like 'hey this is cool thing check this out' in a platonic way. I can't get inside his brain with that one even as a fellow dude lol

[bobalife]

Hehehe okay okay okay

[Still-alive]

good luck over there lol

[bobalife]

LOLLL wdymmm? Nothing is gonna happen and we’re just gonna be friends silly 🙃

[Still-alive]

Hey we'll see. the future is unwritten still :P

[bobalife]

Hahaha very true. what you said reminds me of a song and that sounds like fun! We just never know what’s gonna happen. And wbu?

[Still-alive]

me? uhh im just chillin lol

[bobalife]

😂😂😂😂😂

[Still-alive]

lol. your name makes me want boba though actually. i got a few boba places nearby but they closed. too late now

[bobalife]

Omg you know boba?🧋 I’m jealous you have boba nearby you. That’s very cool! Now I’m craving it too haha

[Still-alive]

yeah i had it a few times. pretty good stuff actually lol.

[bobalife]

What’s your go to boba tea?

[Still-alive]

oh i haven't had it in so long so im not sure what my go to would be lol.

[bobalife]

Oh, I think we need to changed that haha. You need a little boba tea soon in 2026.

[Still-alive]

hey if you wanna buy me some be my guest ;) lol

[bobalife]

Hahahaha sorry I’m not a sugar mama certified😝

[Still-alive]

damn totally though you were.

jk lol

[bobalife]

Hahaha sorry that’s not my love language🥹

[Still-alive]

oh yeah what is? :D

[bobalife]

Hahahaha mmmmmm food & boba tea is my love language 😝

[bobalife]

What’s yours? Loool

[Still-alive]

*takes notes* gotcha lol ;)

[Still-alive]

Well my two big ones are quality time and touch... with a dash of words of affirmation

So like to me its not so much about what we do together, just that we are together doing it and sharing a moment. so yeah quality time is peak for me haha

[bobalife]

Careful… that’s dangerous knowledge 🤭

[bobalife]

Oh, it sounds really sweet~ :)

[Still-alive]

woops. secrets out! :o

[bobalife]

Hahahahaha nooooo….. 😭

[Still-alive]

yeah i got this love thing figured out... on my end anyways lol. i know what i like and such.

[bobalife]

What do you like & such? Let’s hear it!

[Still-alive]

In girls? Umm well the top three things for me are: 1. Communication- like if you have an issue we talk about it and try to resolve it instead of letting it pile up and resentment builds you know… so yeah communication is at the top. After that is empathy, i like to know you are a human being with feelings and such, and then finally a sense of humor, cause i like to joke around a lot lol.

I file all this under the umbrella of compatibility. So thats what i am looking for in a potential partner.

[bobalife]

She sounds quite familiar. How’s your search is going?

[Still-alive]

Its alright. I only just got back into dating after awhile. I was in a relationship back in 2023 that didn’t go well so i felt like i was done for awhile there. But im interested in trying again. I just did s speed dating event two weeks ago. Didn’t get anyone interested but ot was still nice to get back out there ya know.

[bobalife]

I’m glad to hear you took time to for yourself to heal and it takes courage to get back out there :) The future is unwritten like you mentioned~ Coincidink, I am on a similar timeline… my last relationship was around 2023 and needing that time before feeling ready again.

[Still-alive]

Whoa twinsies lol. Wwll for me i just wanted to get my life in order before i tried again. I feel im achieving that but still got more to go. But recently i been feeling a tad on the lonely side at times so yeah thought it was time to get back out there. ;)

[bobalife]

hahaha are we? I’m happy for you and to hear that you’ve been taking the time to build your life the way you want. We’re all works in progress, it’s good to recognize our small and big wins that counts :) Yeah, I understand that naturally it can get a little lonely at times. I do think it’s important to date when people are ready and wants to build a connection to something real.

[shortster]

First, you probably shouldn't get involved with someone at work. Second, you don't want to start dating someone who is starting up a relationship with their ex; even if they are just trying to be friends. If they have become friends after a year or two that is a different story, but at this point they might not be just friends.

[bobalife]

Thanks for the warning advices :) can you answer my question though?

[shortster]

I can't read the mind of your coworker; so I can only give you advice on the issue.

[bobalife]

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[spartan55]

He backed off because you didn't show any interest in return.
Also, how were you able to hear all of that detail in their conversation? Unless you were sitting about two feet away you wouldn't hear much.

[In_Trance]

Don't try to fuck your coworkers because it never turns out the way you think it will

[Bklynbadboy12]

How big is the age gap between the two of you

[bobalife]

Hahaha he’s 22 and I’m 35🫣

[Bklynbadboy12]

Can you handle that young men have a lot of stamina ( hint hint) 😉😉😉😉