Is he flirting or just joking around?

[Anonymous]

so this guy and i work together and im getting conflicting responses on whether he is flirting or not.

backstory for him: he's divorced.

all of my coworkers and i usually joke around but some of his jokes come off kind of weird. we were in the cafeteria and i mentioned how the anime he put on at work was kind of traumatizing and i joked with him saying that he was trying to traumatize me and have us trauma bond. then he replies "im not trying to traumatize you im trying to traumatize you into my arms''. and then my friend and i were talking and he came up behind me and leaned on my back.

he walks around the cafeteria quite frequently. usually whenever i'm having conversations with our teenage patients and hell often interject in our conversations.

another time i was joking about how the teen girls obviously find him attractive because he's one of the very few guys they ever see. then he claims to everyone that i think he's the most attractive person there.

i told him about a celebrity i have a crush on because im going to one of their baseball games soon and he said it was never going to happen and im delusional. so i replied that whenever i meet the guy ill text him a picture of both of us and laughed out loud saying i told him i was going to send him a picture of ''it''. had a=to repeat multiple times i meant celebrity and me meeting.

one coworker made a joke calling him my ''boyfriend''.

i told him on Tuesday i was going to need him to leave his computer unlocked since my login wasn't working at work. so on Friday my friend reminded him and he told her to tell me to ''go fuck myself but sure''. then i found out from a patient that he told them im obsessed with him. and they overheard conversations of him talking about me with multiple people (including friend''. but we rarely hear him talking about others when their not there. some people think he's flirting others think he's joking around but all agree he jokes with me more than everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Telling others you are "obsessed" with him is a common defense mechanism. It allows him to talk about you constantly while pretending you are the one pursuing him, protecting his ego if you ever reject him.

While framed as a joke, this is an explicit romantic overture. Most coworkers avoid romantic imagery like being in their arms unless they want that idea planted in your head

He is likely interested but may be using aggressive humor as a shield, especially given his status as a divorcee navigating workplace boundaries.

Good luck

[Shy-boy53]

What would you like it to be? Would you like him to be flirty with you? It sounds as though he is being and if you like that, just enjoy it