Is it wrong of this guy to act this way?

[Anonymous]

I was friends with benefits with this guy for a month and he wanted to “slut me out” and I found out he was controlling because he said you got to put me first and cancel with the other guy to have sex with me if I am available. This means he wants more than sex? He said to me you got to tell me when you are having sex with someone else so he would know when he is free to have sex with me. He wanted me to have sex with other guys the day that he didn’t see me and he would ask me last minute to have sex and wanted to put him first before anyone else when he wanted to have sex. Does this mean he wanted an open relationship or this is controlling? He told me he wasn’t interested anymore after not cancelling with the other guy to have sex with him. What are your thoughts on this?

Updates

2 mo

He said that he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Was this reasonable?

Updates

2 mo

I’m asking if he is controlling or being reasonable?

[Staximus]

Sounds like you slutted yourself out. No guy wants to stick his face in your snapper after you’ve been screwing another guy the same day or the night before. How would you like it if a guy came over to your house to have sex you and you smelled another woman’s pussy juice on his dick? You probably wouldn’t be very happy.

[Asker]

Yeah but some guys like that what do you think?

[Staximus]

I think that if you want a man to value you then don’t be a slut and have multiple sex partners. Pick one guy to have sex with and that’s it whether you are serious about him or not

[Mark_Est]

Too late now. No man wifes a nonvirgin. Especially some std farmers. Freedom of choice still comes with concequences and she made her own choices, nobody else.

[bowenw]

He is trying to control you which is a red flag in any kind of relationship and he is not minding his own business. Who you see besides him is your business alone.

[Alex_Bright]

He's using it as a power play. He wants to be at the top of the hierarchy, all bend down for him. It's not just controlling towards you but towards to whole social circle you're sleeping with.

I wouldn't put up with it to be honest, you're visibility not into that.

Can I ask, how many are you sleeping with actually? Send it in private if you don't want people to know and get a flood of reactions.

[Mark_Est]

You are just a low value piece of ass to men. They dont respect women like you. Thus you get treated like it. These are the concequences of your choices. Modern relationships for modern women with modern problems. Traditional virgin women get traditional treatment.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

🔷"I found out he was controlling because he said you got to put me first and cancel with the other guy"

This answers your question.

[Asker]

Ok but I’m asking if you think that’s controlling? I should have worded it differently

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It's undeniably controlling.

Since friends with benefits situation is an implicit contract based on each other's agency to come and go with sexual partners. This guy wants to force a different contract on you. Controlling.

[spartan55]

Wow, you sure can pick em. Fwbs are great, aren't they? /s

[slatyb]

He can ask for whatever but you don't have to continue seeing him.

[Anonymous]

He's a drama queen. The point of these is not to have drama. Forget what he wants and be done.

[Nerdvana]

He sounds very immature. But I am sure he is very good looking, that's why you go along with his craziness. What ended up happening?

[oldman26]

That is not friends with benefits, that is controlling