Why would a guy behave this way? please help?

[Anonymous]

So my crush found out I like him and I've seen a change in his behaviour. Before he was very neutral but now he stares from afar and doesn't break eye contact even though were both looking at each other. However when he's up close he doesn't look at all its like I don't even exist?

During shift he watched me leave the building and also left at the same time and he was observing me the whole time I was on my break. I don't get why he would spend so long observing? But when we were back on shift he acted as if I wasn't really there. He came and stood like a meter away but didn't say anything on shift and I asked him if he's okay to break the silence (I was actually quite frustrated) like if he isn't going to speak why stand there and make it awkward? I had to initiate conversation and he was nice and made convo but I just found it strange. He also stuck up for me when something happened that day but it was done indirectly as he asked someone else what happened.

It's like he wants to be so subtle but he's obvious at the same time?

I feel so frustrated because I can't tell why he'd behave this way?

[HollyK21]

Honestly all of this confusion and awkwardness you’re experiencing on your end are probably what he’s going through as well, and that’s why there’s so much dancing around each other. When you say he found out you have a crush, was it directly from you? Or was it some third party, word of mouth sort of thing? Because in the second case, he may not be sure what to think or if it’s even true and then you’re being stand-offish as well.

[Asker]

Thankyou so much appreciate your opinion your so right! So he found out from his auntie that I like him and im sure he believes it because his auntie told me their close. It's so hard to tell what he's thinking because he's so subtle. We bumped into each other a few days later on a staircase and he made eye contact then said 'oh my god' think he was surprised to see me. Also when he saw me on shift that day he made an excuse to come speak to me straight away he asked where some towels were but im sure he already knew where they were as he always works there (as its literally the second time in 5 months we've been on shift together) think he wanted to make sure it was me

[HollyK21]

No worries love☺️ and now considering the fact that someone else told him you like him definitely adds to what I was saying before about him not being sure what to do. It sounds like he got this information and then you two started avoiding each other like the plague lol and that’s a quick fix. Just approach him about this directly and clear the air, because even though his aunt told him, it need to come from you. And now that you’re avoiding him in some ways, it’s even more awkward on his end. You should address this with him.

[Asker]

Thankyou definitely going to take that on board! , what do you think would be the best approach to this considering the situation now and judging from his behaviour do you think he could be interested in wanting to get to know me and is it worth going forward with or is it just a mind****. Im just curious as to why he would be feeling nervous/ careful around me when he should be confident knowing im the one who fancies him? like I'm sure if I was in his position and it was the other way round I would definitely feel more at ease/ confident knowing the other person fancies me.

[Apulu_Imback]

He is observing if you really crush on him or not from what I think. By coming near he is avoiding you to see if you are frustrated and by stay in distance he is observing you and how to act. Do you stare at him? And stuff like that.

[Asker]

He bumped into me a few days later and we both made eye contact for a while then he looked down and said ‘oh my god’. Think he was surprised to see me. I do look at him sometimes but obviously it’s awkward to do that whilst working.

[Apulu_Imback]

Yeah it's a very awkward situation you both are in.

[Asker]

yeah :/ usually only one person feels awkward in the situation but seems like we both are. I don't think he has anything to feel nervous about though because he's found out I like him.

[Apulu_Imback]

Well just confess him already! He knows you like him so you don't have anything to be embarrassed about because that stage is already over 😁 the awkwardness will stop and who knows you both will end up being life partners!

[Apulu_Imback]

*😀...

[Asker]

Thankyou :) I will definitely take that into consideration. Do you think he could even slightly be interested?

[Apulu_Imback]

Yeah otherwise he would have a talk with you about it. Instead he is trying to observe the situation. Chances are there for sure.

[Asker]

Sorry what did you mean by otherwise he would have had a talk with me? and thanks for your help:)

[Apulu_Imback]

Yeah if he didn't liked you back maybe he would have came forward and said you things like "You should move on" and all and to console you. Maybe he would have started to act cold around you and ignored you more if he didn't liked you but instead he is observing you. It means chances are there he likes you back too! You go girl! Best of luck! Update us what happens :)

[Asker]

Thankyou I agree :) I was just thinking what I would do if I wasn't interested in a guy who was crushing on me. I would probably distance myself or just act normal. The fact that he's observing and trying to talk seems like he is interested. Thankyou for your help and will keep you updated :)

[Apulu_Imback]

You're welcome. Best of luck!

[Apulu_Imback]

Thanks for the MHO :)

[spartan55]

It sounds like he's behaving any certain way. Definitely not subtle/obvious or whatever you said. You are obviously watching his every move so you assume he is doing the same to you. How are you sure he found out you like him? How much have you talked to him since then?

[spartan55]

*not behaving

[Asker]

Well it’s hard to explain unless you were in the situation. he was going out of his way to avoid me at times so I thought he wasn’t interested but then when I left he watched me leave and came out soon after and he got someone to cover him and he just spent the hour observing me then when I came back he literally arrived 5 mins later. He found out through his auntie. I’ve only seen him once since then and I initiated the conversation he was nice but he didn’t make much eye contact whilst we were talking.

[spartan55]

His auntie? That's kinda weird, how did she know?

[Asker]

We get on well and she asked if I was looking for anyone etc I said there is someone I like coincidently when I tell her it turns out to be her nephew

[spartan55]

Huh, okay. It sounds like he is playing it safe because he isn't sure you actually like him. You being standoff ish after him learning you like him has to be confusing for him. I'd say you need to take charge and let him know what's up.

[Asker]

Thanks but if she's told him firsthand how could he still be unsure? I agree I think I will need to initiate contact as it would be awkward for him.

[spartan55]

Easily. You are acting standoff-ish, and even though it came from his auntie, it's still second information. Those two things explain his actions to me. Guys need to know they are wanted just like girls.

[Vikkrram]

I am going through a same phase so i can tell you Better that's what going on between you both

[Asker]

Thankyou, what do you think is going on in the situation?

[Vikkrram]

Ok say it would be too long if i would explain here if you can dm me then please dm or if u wanna know here i would try to explain here... would wait for ur reply

[Asker]

No worries, I've tried messaging you but it won't let me as I need to be Xper level 2

[Vikkrram]

Ok then i would explain you here...

[Vikkrram]

See what is happening in ur case try to understand as an guy prospective...

Ok answers me some questions first... You both whenever meet each other have an eye contact with each other , you both become Awkward around each other , kinda ignore each other , hesitate to speak wid people when he is around you or you speaks but speaks it so that you are showing him that i am not uncomfortable around you , but in reality you are

Is that case wid u maam?

[Asker]

I wouldn't say he becomes awkward he's just very careful with his interactions. He found a few excuses to come and speak to me but he was professional about it when we were at work.

I noticed when I was alone in a corridor he wouldn't come there until I had passed. I thought he was avoiding me but at the same time he involved himself in situations where he could speak to me through others. When the incident happened he asked if I was okay and to let him know if anything else happens and made eye contact and smiled.

I think when I initiated the conversation towards the end of the day with him I was quite comfortable I think he was feeling more uncomfortable. So I think what's happened is when he's feeling comfortable i'm not and when i'm feeling comfortable he's not if that makes sense? We feel awkward at different times.

[Vikkrram]

See that's what i am talking about you become Awkward... you both can't have a chat when u both are alone... i will tell you why it's happening...

[Asker]

Thankyou yeah that's true always one of us ends up feeling awkward when were both alone. I just think if one of us didn't feel awkward it would make it a lot easier.

[Vikkrram]

Yeah see this is happening coz you both have feelings towards each other and u both are trying your best to hide it but as you know true feelings can never hide.

See one day you will find urself pushing towards him and other days acting like uninterested towards him. It's coz u don't know sure that if he has feelings towards you or not.

And same is going wid him... also.

Do let me know if i am right or not?

[Asker]

Thankyou I think you're right :) I definitely have feelings towards him I just wasn't sure if he had feelings towards me. I'm just thinking he might have feelings towards me because otherwise there would be no awkwardness right?

Yeah definitely your right I do behave in those ways sometimes I'm acting interested towards him other times im not because I don't want to come on too strong

[Vikkrram]

See that's what i was saying if I would have somehow got the chance to Dm you then i would have explained you mine situation and you can understand easily and then can relate wid mine

[Asker]

thats true its a shame I can't dm. From what you've read do you think he is interested or likes me back?

[Vikkrram]

His behaviour is yelling out... okay let's assume it is happening wid 3rd person not wid you... then what would you have told then?

[Asker]

Sorry what do you mean by his behaviour is yelling out? Well if someone else told me this I would think he's interested. However he is generally a very observant person and he always has his eyes out and knows what's going on in a room so I'm just thinking that could also be a possibility that he's just curious.

[Vikkrram]

Ok do one thing go out in my profile and read the first question which i have asked here... and share ur opinion... what u think? Then u will get ur answer

[Asker]

Sorry im not sure that is the same scenario I think this is a bit different?

[Asker]

I put my opinion on your question my username is natashasi89

[Vikkrram]

It's not there it's not coming maam

[Vikkrram]

Yeah i got that... but still can't explain you here much it was 10 months ago , now it has all been changed... it's still coming anonymous so I can't mesaage you...

[_itsken]

Maybe he's hesitant that's why he always observe. He might still be on the stage wherein he's still figuring out his feelings. As long as he doesn't creep you out, then it's fine but if he starts to creep you out then confront him.

[Asker]

Thanks I was just curious as to why he was so careful around me like he would make sure we didn't end up in the same area together and would speak more when others were around

[Guy__]

He doesn't know what to say, and he doesn't know that you're scared of silence.

[Anonymous]

Stop overthinking. The situation will fix itself. And I promise this so.