Was my boyfriend wrong for acting this way?

[Anonymous]

He is always paranoid that I am cheating. I was at a store waiting for him to pick me up to hook up and I saw his car driving while I was at a store then I walked to his car while I was at the store and he literally thought I was with another guy. When I was near his car he screamed at me saying I’m leaving! You were with another guy goodbye!! Then I went into his car saying I was not with another guy then he said I made him paranoid and he also said why didn’t you tell me you were at this store? It’s my fault I should have told him I was at the store near his car. He gets paranoid easily. But I literally wasn’t cheating on him is it my fault? Why would he act like this?

He is in the wrong and paranoid and insecure

It’s my fault I should have communicated better

[fluffydevilxx]

From my perspective as a guy, no, this isn’t your fault based on what you’ve described.

If my girlfriend walked over to my car from a nearby store, my first thought wouldn’t be, “She must have been with another guy.” I’d probably ask, “Oh, you were in there?” and we’d move on. Jumping straight to accusations and yelling is a sign that something deeper is going on.

Jealousy usually comes from insecurity, past experiences, or a lack of trust. Those feelings can be real, but they’re still his responsibility to manage. It’s reasonable for him to ask questions if he’s confused. It’s not reasonable to scream, accuse you of cheating without evidence, and then shift the blame onto you.

Could you have texted him that you were waiting inside the store? Sure. That might have avoided the misunderstanding. But forgetting to mention you’re in a nearby shop isn’t the same as doing something suspicious. Those are two very different things.

A healthy relationship is built on giving your partner the benefit of the doubt until there’s a real reason not to. If he regularly assumes the worst and makes you feel like you’re constantly defending your innocence, that can become emotionally exhausting.

I’d have an honest conversation with him when you’re both calm. If he’s willing to acknowledge that his paranoia is his issue and actively work on it, that’s a good sign. If every misunderstanding turns into an accusation and somehow becomes your fault, then the bigger issue isn’t where you were, it’s the lack of trust in the relationship. Trust has to go both ways, or the relationship eventually becomes impossible to enjoy.

[Anonymous]

That is controlling and borderline abusive behavior. You should definitely reconsider your relationship if this is normal behavior from him.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Your boyfriend has problem and you won't be able to fix it.

A person like him will always think negative of you and think you're up to no good when he isn't around.

A relationship is built on trust and he doesn't trust you at all so you will continue to have these problems with him if you decide to stay with him.

[Nikki1989]

Insecure men are the worst. You can do better.

[bowenw]

He sounds toxic and you should think about moving on as it will only get worse.

[Asker]

How is he toxic?

[bowenw]

For jumping to conclusions that are probably the result of his own insecurity and for how he treated you, especially the screaming.

[Asker]

His own insecurity how? I like him a lot and is a good guy overall

[bowenw]

Him jumping to the conclusion that you were with another guy and they screaming at you makes me think he is insecure and fears losing you. I could be totally wrong. That is my guess based on the information I have.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess 😭 What is that caused by?

[bowenw]

I'm not a doctor, but it could be low self esteem, anger issues, trust issues. He could have mental issues like being bipolar or borderline personality disorder. If it happens often he may need to discuss it with his doctor.

[Just_Ken]

Probably cheated on b4 or you cheated with him on another or youve a history of cheating.

[beenherebefore]

He has to learn how to deal with his insecurity issues and emotions.

[Alex-Snow]

He needs to chill out. Has it affected your sex life with him at all?

[Pterodon]

It isn’t paranoia it’s trust and control issues. Why do you stay? It won’t change

[WhitneySnow]

He sounds crazy paranoid

[Asker]

How?

[WhitneySnow]

Just everything he says

[imemma12]

i could not live with that lol

[Asker]

Why?

[imemma12]

Don't want a boyfriend worried about who I am with and what I am doing all the time. I have friends like that and just loser boyfriends that don't trust.

[413kim]

Why do you want that