Girls: Can personality make up for average looks?

Question

Ok, so I asked a question on here yesterday similar to this and it came out all wrong. So I thought I'd reword it into a less offensive version.

There was a girl I knew in high school. She was fairly good looking, but not beautiful, though she was very sweet and had a great personality. Those things combined made her seem more attractive to me. I was always nice to her and am an average looking guy, but never asked her out because I was very shy. Though if I did, she probably would have said yes. My question is if that can work the other way around too. If an average looking guy has a great personality, if he will be seen as more attractive by the ladies.

So here's my question broken down. Would you rather be with an excellent looking guy with a poor personality or an average looking guy with a great personality. I realize there are great looking guys with great personalities and vice versa, but I'm trying to make it black and white for the sake of argument.

desperate_need_help · Accepted Answer

YES DEFINITELY 100%. WHen I first met my boyfriend I was not attracted to him at all. I finally gave in and gave him a chance even though everyone told me I was way out of his league because he was truly the sweetest guy and I could tell how much he loved me and would do anything for me.

NOW, its one year later and every since the second month I have not only been head over heels for him but I FIND HIM SOOOO HOT I can barely keep my hands off him! I totally want him now much more than he wants me physically and I know that I am the "better looking" one from an objective point of view.

There have also been PLENTY of times where my girlfriends and I have been TOTALLY attracted to a guy and found him like the hottest man in the world looks wise but than when we get to know them and they are either shallow, self centered or just plain no personality or an a**hole we totally lose all attraction- both physical and a potential attraction anything deeper.

Long story short- Looks don't mean everything- ITS ALL ABOUT ATTRACTION- which may start with looks but always end up being made up of much more- especially personality and dynamic.

imperatriz · Accepted Answer

So what you're really asking is, would I date a guy I wasn't attracted to if he had a great personality? Then the answer is no. If I'm not attracted to him, no matter how much I love his personality, I will never be able to look at him as more than a friend. It's not that I prefer looks over personality, it's just that I won't settle for less when I can have both. In order for a relationship to work, there just has to be physical attraction as well as compatible personalities.

So, if my only choices were an excellent looking guy with a poor personality or an average looking guy with a great personality then I would stay single.

BookThief · Accepted Answer

You would think that guys that are good looking would appreciate what they have and be kind to those that don't, but that is normally not the case.

I love guys that are funny, smart, and are true to themselves. I have gone out with guys because I found them to have a great personality and I would rather be with someone who has a good soul or inner being rather than a handsome guy who has nothing going on inside. However with that said I am by no means perfect and I have also fallen for guys that were good looking, but I did discover the error of my ways fairly quickly.

Blankname1 · Accepted Answer

There are girls that will go for mainly looks and then there are girls that will go for somewhat looks(or even at times don't care at all) and a good personality.There are even some that just want someone so badly so they go for anything.

My female friends have told me that they first go for looks,but if the guy is interesting or funny they will go for that too.The more you can make a positive feeling in the woman the more likely she is to override her normally view of what she finds attractive.Mystery said it best "Attraction is not a choice" <- If you really think about it's true,because I heard many women say "I only go for ____ type of guy" and then I see them with another type of guy.Some have a good level of control on what they of guy they want and only go for that,but from what I saw and heard so far most don't.

Anyways I would go for it and for the best results make her laugh and then ask :)

Peace!

rotarymoon · Accepted Answer

It's all about self-assurance and confidence and not giving a fuk bout what anyone thinks. You have that down and you will seem more attractive two some better looking guy who is probably a tool in closet. Looks are only 1 of several things required as long as your are looking for people in the same or relatively close leauges.

sunwolf94 · Answer

Men are more prone to choose physical beauty over personality (not trying to bash men, or allude that all men are like this, but it is true that men are more focused on physical beauty than women). On the other hand women will not only look at physical beauty, but social status, hierarchy, skills, etc.

This is because men need to simply find a mate that is healthy, and will birth healthy, strong, fit children, while women need to find a mate that will not only produce healthy children, but also one who will take care of her and her children.

Of course this is all just human nature, and we as human beings do not always follow such trends. Personality plays a key role in any healthy relationship, so keep up a good attitude and you'll do great.

DebiPie · Answer

I have ALWAYS thought that a persons personality "makes" a persons appearance. You could be what everyone considers to be an attractive, even beautiful person on the outside, but if you have a terrible personality, and are a mean person, I will find you to be a very ugly person to me.

The same goes if you seem unattractive to everyone, but have a good personality & are a truly good person, I will see you as a beautiful person on the outside.

Case in point, I had friends years ago that NOBODY understood how on earth they were married, let alone ever a couple. She was absolutely gorgeous, and he was ...far from it, on the outside. But from the moment you met this man, you absolutely loved him & did not think of his looks at all. You KNEW why she was with him. No one ever questioned their relationship once they met them.

Personality is everything. Looks fade.

jrose · Answer

I'm looking for a guy I enjoy spending time with, not a picture to put on my mantle. Genuinely LIKING a person is a whole lot more important than having above-average looks. There are lots of good-looking guys out there, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather have someone I connect with than somebody who's a jerk or bores the crap out of me but looks great doing it- that gets old pretty quick.

That being said, having a personality that's going to appeal to ALL women is a pretty tall order- we're a diverse group and the guy I think has an awesome personality is not necessarily the guy my best friend or sister thinks is awesome. And, on top of the great personality, there has to be physical attraction, otherwise we're just going to be good friends. Which is OK too, I have some great guy friends who I think are amazing people, there's just no attraction there for us to go beyond friendship.

sarahh_12 · Answer

Here's the deal. It may all start with looks, but looks will only keep a person interested for so long. You can't build a relationship off of lust, it has to be deeper than that. If the other doesn't find the persons personality attractive, it won't last.

If the guy has a great personality, the way a girl looks at him completely changes. I dated a guy that really wasn't very attractive but he treated me so well and we got along great so it made me find him more attractive. Without the personality, the looks won't even matter.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

I can be attracted to a guy that is average looking, but he stil has to be good looking TO ME. if I don't find him attractive and appealing, and he doesn't make my heart flutter then no personality cannot make up for it at the end of the day I need a guy who gives me butterflies. if he doesn't do that then his personality doesn't matter.

But to be honest I would date a really fine guy with a poor personality provided he wasn't cruel, abusive, or mentally impaired. But I wouldn't pick him over the guy that's perfect for me, I'd just date him just to date him

Anonymous · Answer

I've been attracted to guys that I thought were hot because of their personality, and yet other people don't agree that they are good-looking. When I first meet them, they seem average on first impression but if they are great to be around then I fall for them. I've met really hot men who I decided were less attractive/more attractive because of their personalities.

I generally don't go for overweight men or smokers. A couple years ago I met a man who was overweight and a smoker and fell for him after a while. He had a cute face despite the fact he was overweight. He looked even cuter once I got to know him.

I do like good-looks, but a good personality helps. I won't date a hot jerk.

snowangle · Answer

1. Nothing is more unattractive than a bad attitude/personality. Wouldn't go near those guys no matter what they looked like.

2. I'm actually way more attracted to the average-looking guys than the more attractive ones! I'm not attracted to the tan, muscley guys nearly as much as the pale awkward looking ones. :) I am a happy camper if I find a single, average-looking, adorable-personalitied guy somewhere.

anthony8x · Answer

You should probably change the question to if you are an average looking guy with fame or money would that make up for my looks?

Girls wouldn't admit it I'm almost sure but it would lol.

As for personality depends on the girl.

If it's girl who are stuck up and think they are holier than thou which I have seen in a comment below I won't say who BUT you don't want them kinds of girls anyway because they are just shallow and have nothing to offer besides looks.

lovepink42 · Answer

i would definitely go with the average guy with a great personality. I want someone I can relate to, and can have fun with. I would never be able to date a guy with a terrible personality even if they were really hot. and yes I do think that if a guy has a great personality it makes them more attractive

archer86 · Answer

I have posted this type of question a number of times myself.  Perhaps I worded the question badly because most of the women voted looks over personality.  Maybe it's when you ask this question and who answers at that particular time?  I dunno.  What I do know is that you will get different answers all the time, nothing is unanimous about this topic at all.

urbanchic · Answer

I tend to pick the great looking guy with a poor personality and they the relationships tend to end very quickly because they are boring or chaotic. My current relationship is with someone who I have always had fun with. When he asked me to go with him, I never even thought about his looks.

diane1612 · Answer

I would for that average looking guy with a great personality :D there's nothing to lose in

their :D You didn't tell he's ugly right...XD what I'm tryng to say is that GUYS mostly look at

girls physical appearance but most girls would go for a man with great personality becuase

girls are touchy and emotional and so they always go for those who are like you :D

unless this girl is a b**ch..lol

Why would I go for someone with good looks when overtime it will fade with age..

blufrenzy93 · Answer

Story of life at the moment. I met this guy on campus who is average looking at best, but our personalities completely mesh together. We have so much in common, he's so sweet, smart, and makes me laugh at random times. All those qualities made me attracted to him, and I would definitely want him to be mine. (; The last guy I "dated" was very good looking, but doesn't possess the qualities as the one I mentioned.

So yes, I would rather be with the average guy with a great personality.

A2TheLO · Answer

Personally, I am all for the guys with great personalities no matter what. The way I see it, is that if someone has a poor personality, then they aren't worth your/my time. In short, I would prefer an average looking guy over an excellent looking guy with a poor personality...But that's just how I am. I think everyone will agree with me.

lustful1 · Answer

i am 100% that a personality can make up for looks or even make a person look better or even having things in common with the other person makes them even more attractive. for me I would take personality over a excellent looking guy that has a bad attitude. so yes to your question I think it works both ways

Anonymous · Answer

YES YES YES, MY GOD. Average looking guy with a great personality.

My last boyfriend... when he started talking to me, I didn't really care about his looks. He just looked average, you know? Then, I saw what an absolutely amazing personality he had, and his looks grew on me.

Anonymous · Answer

If I see an attractive man, but his personality is bad that automatically makes him an ugly person to me.

If I see an average looking man, but his personality is great, he's automatically attractive to me.

Most people think my boyfriend is 'average', but to me, he's way better.

kimu11 · Answer

I fell madly in love with my ex before because of his great personality... And based on looks alone, he is not my type. So, yes, It's the personality that gets me and not the appearance.. *sigh* I miss him now though :'(

Anonymous · Answer

Take a gorgeous looking man for example, he is gorgeous, but his personality sucks. To me he is ugly on the outside and inside. I no longer find him attractive anymore. Looks do matter to me, not gonna lie, but the personality means SO much more! I would choose B.

kady4e · Answer

B, for chore.

I compare this to the crispy's packages. You can go for the best brand and the most appealing package but in the end you find yourself with some very yummy package full of air and no content.

Anonymous · Answer

Fairly good looking isn't average. Just saying. And I know you said you want it to be black and white for the sake of argument but I would rather be with a guy who has a good personality and is cute in MY eyes. I'm not saying amazing looking but at least cute to me and a good personality. If I had to pick from your two options I would choose average with great personality but I still want to be with a guy I find attractive .

So I chose C.

muchlove · Answer

AVERAGE LOOKING GREAT PERSONALITY BY FAR. sorry for caps I just feel so strongly about this! because personality doesn't wither as easily as looks. and anyways beauty is only in the eye of the beholder.

CrystalMinds · Answer

Looks don't last forever.

If there's a good/great looking guy, but he's not funny or witty or fun or he's a jerk, he's a waste of my time.

I'd rather be with someone who has average looks, but the personality makes him gorgeous :)

selfishstars · Answer

A great personality makes me find someone more attractive; a bad personality makes me find someone less attractive. Plus, I couldn't have a relationship with someone whose personality I didn't like.

JK7062 · Answer

I think that the vast majority of girls need at least some sort of physical attraction; but even if a guy isn't particularly attractive in the eyes of a certain girl at first, a good personality can make him more physically attractive to her.

CheyChey · Answer

I absolutely think personality is the best thing.  I like guys who are very personality wise attractive more so than physically.  I find guys more attractive with great personalities and hot guys with bad personalities "ugly".  Great question!

yesthisisme · Answer

Generally speaking a person (or at least this is how I am) is partially attracted to the visuals and there personality.  You can't separate them otherwise a cardboard cut out would suffice just fine.

saphirasilverwings · Answer

And then some. I don't see how anyone could date someone based on looks, because how can you enjoy being around them?

Hades · Answer

They'll say it can, but you'll rarely ever see an average looking guy who isn't tall or wealthy with a commited girlfriend, no matter how good his personality is.

HotPepper302 · Answer

Definitely! Would you rather date a hot, boring b*tch, or an average-looking girl who lights up your world?

Flyinghigh101 · Answer

Honestly, I prefere that! I love a genuine personality and I find quirks to be adorable. I love being around someone that's just comfortable in his own skin and is just himself! As long as he likes to laugh and has a genuine smile, he's perfect for me!

nicole93410 · Answer

I'd pick the average-looking guy with a great personality. :) Afterall, a person's outer appearance can always change, but their personalities (pretty much) can't.

Teesh_xX · Answer

sure why not lol I mean if the main personality attribute is funny then definitely! Lol and if they carry themselves in a confident but not cocky way then that adds more points..xX

Feefee · Answer

I really don't value looks as much as I value personality, so if a guy is not so good looking, but has awesome personality, like humour, honesty, confidence, morals, I can very much fall for him :)

IN5AN1TY · Answer

But for us guys...if you don't have good looks, 90% of the time, no matter how good your personality is, it counts for very little because your average looks mean you're not noticed.

Happens to me every single f**king time.

JumpThenFall · Answer

I'd rather go out with a more average looking guy who treats me well and doesn't think he's god's gift to women.

NayaAbouzaid · Answer

OF COURSE  I have seen very very very attractive JERKS , I honestly get more shy around average looking guys with amazing personalities because in my book they win :D

livi23 · Answer

Why would you want an extremely attractive guy who you couldn't talk to or enjoy things with? Personality is what makes a person attractive (:

justlilly · Answer

Yes, this is very possible (at least for me). I am currently crushing hard on a guy who isn't that great looking, but has an awesome personality.

thatcrazygirl21 · Answer

I'd date an average looking guy with a great personality. :)  Looks go away after a while, but personality lasts forever. <3

louiseee · Answer

I have been with plenty of average and below average people with good personalities and bad personalities. It makes all the difference.

Nyc10001 · Answer

I once knew a girl that when I first met her I thought she was a little heavy.  I got to know her and the funny thing was...she magically the weight.

Standingpretty · Answer

I would rather have a great guy who is not neccesarily a male model.

Loools · Answer

I'd rather be with an average looking guy that has a great personality :)

Anonymous · Answer

I think so, I have been attracted to guys that weren't the best looking but the reason why I liked them was because they made me laugh.

gialuan · Answer

looks don't last forever; personality does (for the most part)

singingbird · Answer

ave looks with good personality. I like a guy now who isn't good looking but has a great personality

whydogirlsmesswithme · Answer

I have seen some ugly guys who act like  d bags get plenty of girls.  So yep confidence/personality

Anonymous · Answer

Personality counts alot, more than looks. You can not have the looks but if you make her day you'll take her heart away. :)

jaugar · Answer

Yea I see ugly guys to get plenty of beautiful women and guess what? I got nothing  true story

hundevtom · Answer

To me looks are nothing if you do not have a nice personality. You could be the best looking person out there, but if you have a horrible personality you can easily become the ugliest person out there.

Anonymous · Answer

All it takes is for someone with just as good a personality and better looks to come along and see you later, on to the better opportunity.

Xx_DRE_xX · Answer

Supposedly it's always B, but A always gets the panties.

moviedude714 · Answer

hard to say, girls go for the jocks and military guys

hvillagomez · Answer

It's 75% personality and 25% looks for me

Chaaz · Answer

Yeah, how else can ugly guys still get laid =)

Melly90 · Answer

B , personality is more important!

Eiffelgirl21 · Answer

B any day.

sportdistant · Answer

this gives me hope

Girls: Can personality make up for average looks?

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Girls, Do looks matter more to women than personality?