Girls, Do looks matter more to women than personality?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[Zeppelinrocks]

The way I break it down is this: when you meet someone, you’re either attracted to them or you’re not. If you are, you keep talking to them, and if you aren’t, they are mere friends. But if I was talking to two guys, one of which happened to be slightly less attractive than the other but much more kind and intelligent, I would go for the less attractive one. Attraction is the basis of all human romantic relationships, but a horrible personality can definitely stop a relationship from ever happening.

[Zeppelinrocks]

Physical attractiveness is only skin deep. Maybe I’d be more likely to have a one night stand with someone that is attractive over someone that isn’t, but I wouldn’t be more likely to be in a relationship with them. If a person is ugly on the inside, no relationship with them will last or be emotionally fulfilling. I do think you have to be attracted to whomever you intend to date- you can’t find them so unappealing that you wouldn’t have sex with them after all- but beyond that it is truly the personality that matters.

[Asker]

I agree in almost all you said. So as an unattractive guy on the outside I do avoid approaching women.

[Zeppelinrocks]

Your physical appearance shouldn’t stop you from approaching women. Women find different things attractive- for example, the men I gravitate towards are on the chunky side, and I prefer them to be short. This is completely opposite to what people would assume a woman would go for. Besides, you can make yourself seem more attractive simply by being confident in yourself and comfortable in your own skin enough to put yourself out there. But if you stop trying, you won’t find anyone.

[Asker]

Most women think I am unattractive. So yeah I do not mind not , not finding someone. I am really confident with how I looks , I am getting more fit or I should say I became nore fit during the quarantine and my confidence in myself is going up. I still want to better my looks though. I am planning getting a cosmetic surgery to make my eyes symmetrical.
Anyway... I am chattering... Well I think of relationships and marriage as a rigged game that will eventually not make me happy !!
I am bettering myself , becoming fit and healthy , bettering myself always, for the sake of me , to live a long as far as possible a more productive life !!

[Zeppelinrocks]

Good on ya! Relationships aren’t always the best fit for people. There is no “right” way to live your life, even if society thinks that being married is some sort of necessity.

[Lolli2]

Speaking for myself, it's definitely the other way around. A good/interesting personality goes a long way and can make someone very attractive even when they are not technically good-looking. Similarly, a good-looking guy is completely unattractive to me if his personality is unappealing.

[Asker]

Not for most women.

[Alpha09]

Upon initially meeting someone either I want to sleep with them or not. Wether we continue sleeping together and possibly dating depends on wether our personalities are compatible. Now if they are really attractive and I find that they are a horrible person from the get go that will most likely turn me off, so looks aren't everything even when first meeting. Looks and personality aren't everything. Chemistry is also a factor.

[jasmine_0603]

Both matter, it's 50/50 to me. He doesn't need to be a supermodel of course, just physically attractive to me. Personality is just as important, because it can make you fall in love and stay or leave.

[Asker]

Ok cool. But everyone knows most most women think most men are physically unattractive.
In 2021 dating and relationships is a rigged game. So as an unattractive guy I do not approach women.

[jasmine_0603]

If what you said was true, then how come we have 7.9 billion people in the world? Everyone finds different people attractive. You will most likely find someone who thinks you're handsome.

[Asker]

In most places in the world , there is still patriarchy and women do not have to choose... At least not in the sense we have it in the '' First world ''. Almost all the countries of the first world have below replacement levels of fertility ( that is 2,1 children per woman ) except Turkey and some island parts of bigger states entites ( for example Guam- part of the US , Faroe Islands - part of Denmark etc.)

But the most important thing is that: The number of people being born does not show anything or most precisely in our cased does not dissprove my claim or approve your claim. Let's have an extreme example.
We have a 10/10 attractive man. If he has sex with 100 women that they are attracted to him we can have potentially 100 new people born from a single guy. While 99 men ( as the percenatge of men and women in a given society is about the same ) left without any women or children.
I know that this is an extreme and u will reject it without even considering it. But it is true that a small minority of men does the majority of sex.
So as a guy who is not attractive who in this day and age will not be wanted by women , I have chosen solitude and hard work.

[jasmine_0603]

You have a point. Still, if you took a random group of average adult men from the streets of your city, it's very unlikely that most of them would be virgins or have never been in a relationship. It's also unlikely that they all would be objectively attractive. Women like various men, so you will find a girl that finds you attractive enough to date, unless you lock yourself in your room and decide not to talk to any women. I had a friend who was extremely tall, very thin, completely hairless (because of a disease), had a few other diseases too, had a big crooked nose and he found a pretty, loving girlfriend at 21 years old. She just found him attractive and loved him for who he was. If you don't even wanna try, then you will end up alone almost for sure. Your attitude can make you seem more attractive to women.

[Asker]

I agree with you for the most part.
I agree with the fact thst most average men wouldn't be virgins. But a substantial minority would be. I would guess around 30-40 % of dudes 35 years old and less would be sexless.
I agree that a lot of women have different types , but thanks to social programming ( media and especially social media ) , women want more and more a specific type or let's say a small range of potential male types.
So as an unattractive lad you cannot win. I am an introvert and I in looks i am a 4/10 although getting better. But i believe there is no point in you know trying. I am getting better for me , not other people. To live a longer , healthier and more productive life.
I try to becime better. But a lot of people in the past mostly attached me a lot of societal stigmas of the loser and the unwanted and i am like " Ok... I get it... I am not wanted ". So my solitide is to escape a toxic enviroment for me and better myself. Thank god i am. passionate in my studies i really like what I study and with my mindset i will be better.

[jasmine_0603]

That friend was also very introverted and shy, but somehow he got a girlfriend. I have a quite specific "type" and this type is NOT what social media advertises and many other girls don't buy it either. I think you could totally find a girlfriend, but it seems like you simply don't want to and that's ok.

[Elena_the_Star]

Online yes, offline... complicated. I have seen others and been attracted myself to hideous guys because of their personality ( more like social proof- others thought they were the shit too)

[Asker]

Well I do not approach women , because I am uglly. I am not going to deny your claims , but in my anecdotal evidence, women care way more for looks than anything else.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Everyone has their own thing but I value a sense of humor and honesty above looks by far and it isn't even a close race.

[Asker]

I disagree that most women value that. But thank you for your reply.

[Anonymous]

For me, absolutely not! When i see a beautiful man i say wow he is beautifuk and go to my way for me it s like i ve seen a beautiful picture.
But when i talk to someone and i know him closer and lob e his personnality , i melt.

To see is not like to feel.

[Asker]

ok...

[DizzyDesii]

Depends if its in person or online. In person, looks is what im first looking at. Personality is what will keep me. If only, personality is what i notice for. Looks is what will make me want to make things official once we see eachother

[irisking]

definitely no for me. I don't care if you look like an angel, if your a dickhead, I will find you utterly repulsive. If society terms of an "ugly man" was the nicest person ever, then I would 100% date him!

[Asker]

I disagree but if that helps you sleep at night , who am I to tell otherwise?

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Nope. You gotta be more than just a pretty face, I've met plenty of beautiful people with ugly souls. I need the personality to not only be present, but to mesh well with mine.

[IveGotNoName]

The looks draw you in, personality makes you stay. You can't date someone you're not attracted to, and you can't date someone you don't find interesting. Not long term at least.

[KatherineJ]

No, I mean he had to be attractive to me, but it’s his personality that makes me swoon.

[Asker]

I agree. Looks first , personality second.

[KatherineJ]

But that interest only lasts a few seconds if he’s not smart.

[Asker]

Are you sure about that?
Personally i have encountered. any " dumb-wokes" that are successful with the ladies

[fairsharre]

Too me both matter equally. I feel I wouldn’t be happy dating a man I didn’t find handsome. Also it would not make me feel happy dating a handsome man with a crappy personality
Also good hygiene matters to me too

[NoNamexx]

I mean everyone is different, but I’ve always went for personality over looks. They’re both important though, but that’s just my personal opinion. All I know is looks isn’t “more valued” for me.

[Anonymous]

I would say, for me, both matter equally. There's nothing really wrong. But I feel that looks matter for self satisfaction, and personality matters for a healthy and thriving relationship, obviously, it would be wrong to be in a toxic relationship with a person who has a toxic/narcissist personality.

[FreyaRed]

Without looks there is nothing to start with.

[Asker]

Thank you for being honest.

[Anonymous]

At the beginning, looks matter more to me. After that, personality matters more.

[Anonymous]

Both looks and personality matter to me.

[Asker]

I bet looks more. But I am not going to have any discussion with you.

[username118]

Both are equally important.

[Asker]

Looks, Looks, Looks...

[username118]

I wouldn't date someone handsome if he had a shitty personality. It's disgusting. And also, I can't be sexually attracted to someone who is not attractive. That's simple logic. Beauty and attractiveness though are both subjective.

[PinkHamster]

A little bit 💕✨

[Asker]

Thnx for being honest.

[modelUN242]

Both matter.