Can you tell when someone has never had a boyfriend / girlfriend ?

[Anonymous]

So this question might look stupid but I was just debating this with my sister and basically her thought was that yes, people can tell when you've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is just something they can see, a vibe you give.

So is this generally true? Is there a "always been single" vibe? What makes you think someone has never been in a relationship? What makes you think they already have?

We had this debate because a friend of her whom I have only seen a few times and doesn't really know me that well asked if I had already had a boyfriend. To which she replied yes (which is not true but it sort of embarrassed her to say that her 21 years old sister had never had a boyfriend.. go figure ! )

[jimbojkd]

i wouldn't worry about being popular at school. I wasn't either with anyone or girls. just remember chin up and say to yourself school isn't going to last forever. your not freak. but if you do want a boyfriend, if you do have try. like the saying, if want to learn to swim, you have to get wet, or jump in the water. and try find someone nice. set yourself standards, and stick to them.

[jimbojkd]

don't think you can tell just by looks. I think the only way you can tell is by getting to know them. and their experience will tell you. most people can't believe I never had a girlfriend. they just won't believe me. I don't know why. I am wouldn't call myself that good looking.

[Asker]

yes, this is exactly what I had thought and I still think it is the best way to go. Most people who've never had any experience just avoid this subject which is a tell tale sign.

[jimbojkd]

thats make even more special that you never had a boyfriend. I would prefer a girl that's slept with no one than a girls that's slept with 20 guys. you should say to your sister at least I am not a slut. sorry if I am mean about your sister. don't take that attitude from her

[Asker]

haha :) well yes you're right that's what I think to. at least I don't date just for the sake of dating.

[sourpatchchik2]

I usually can't tell. Usually if they're really shy you can kind of guess.

[Asker]

well it's true shyness, especially when you've sort of gotten to know them can be sort of telling. Thugh I remember a friend in junior high who was really shy and yet lways had a crush and a boyfriend.

And I do reckon that in social settings I'm sort of quiet and reserved which can be mistaken as "shy" but the very few times I've seen this girl (sisters friend) we were at home and I'm very far from quiet and reserved when I'm home. I laugh, make jokes, talk with everyone..

[Asker]

I have no problem socializing with the people my siblings bring home. Which just makes the whole question about me weird.. It's as if she had had a "feeling" that I had never have a boyfriend...which I don't understand honestly.

[sourpatchchik2]

Yeah...plus I'm really shy and because of that I've only had one boyfriend so I assume they're in the same boat as me. But I'm the same way as you, I'm only shy around people I'm not comfortable with, with friends and at home I'm loud lol.

[sourpatchchik2]

I dunno...did you ask her why she thought that?

[Asker]

yes, and there's nothing wrong with being shy around the people you don't really know... but I don't know why she asked this since she asked my sister and she just brushed it off by lying. ha ha .

[sourpatchchik2]

Well there kind of is. I don't meet people easily, and some people think I'm stuck up sometimes because I don't talk much but it's because I'm shy...and guys don't ask me out because I'm too shy to talk to them unless they talk to me first lol. Sigh. Haha oh I don't know either then.:l

[Asker]

yeah well you're at an age where guys get easily intimidated by a girl as pretty as you. So the fact that you're shy might make things a little bit more complicated for them .. But sure this whole dating, looking approachable thing is a complex thing to figure out. It really does seem like pretty, sweet but more reserved girl get a tougher timethan the vrey extroverted plain one.

I certainly don't consider myself to be very pretty but I do have this looking approachable problem

[sourpatchchik2]

Oh...well thanks for the compliment.(: My self-esteem isn't high enough for me to see it that way though lol. It definitely does seem that way though. I heard it gets easier in college from a lot of people.

[Asker]

I don't approach people and most ofthetime look too reserved, focused on what I'm doingthat people think of me as a snob, someone arrogant and such.. which I am definitely not. So I try to really be myself when stranger come talk to me. I also try to make a lot of eye contact with people so they actually dn't mistaken as some ice queen... oh well not that I really care anyway it's just that the image of ouself can be so different than the one others perceive ..

[sourpatchchik2]

I understand all of that totally...I'm always smiling so I hopefully don't give off the wrong vibe. It's like because of it we have to do things on purpose so people don't think about us in the wrong way...it sucks.:l

[Asker]

I don't if it gets easier because boys change (as far as my experience goes most of college boys are horny boys wanting one thing only ..) but it does get easier because you meet more people, get the opportunity to gain more self confidence by attending a lot of social events so yes it does sort of make it easier.

[sourpatchchik2]

Oh...that's true. Good to know.(:

[jimbojkd]

take it from me, I am terribly shy with girls, I would be afraid to talk to them, I wouldn't be to keen to sleep with them or kiss them. they feel awkward. I generally feel flustered, and get completely all embarrassed. trust me you will be able to tell.

[sketchy]

No, you really can't. Maybe if you paid close attention there might be clues, but I think by the age of 21, it's so rare for someone to have not dated, that the thought wouldn't even occur to most people. I've also met some pretty unattractive people, with questionable social skills and no apparent interest in the opposite gender, who it turned out had actually dated quite a lot.

[Bluegameroyon]

sometimes you can tell someone has been single for his/her entire life.

but on the other hand, there are some people who are EXTREMELY sociable and whom you think is a pimp but in reality has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend.

so to sum it up, it's 50/50.

[Asker]

how can you tell ? is it their demeanor? or just an overall feelingthat this person has never been in a relationship?

[Bluegameroyon]

the person's personality comes to account. you look for the level of shyness in a person. if the person is very shy and isn't very confident in the way (s)he dresses, then the person MIGHT have never had a boyfriend of girlfriend before.

[Asker]

yeah, well sure shyness and confidence about the way you look .. I still think that one good way to tell is to get to know someone and know their priorities. People who don't talk a lot about realtionship, whether it be friends, love, or just other people sometimes are less liely to feel concerned by it and thus to have had a boyfriend / girlfriend. At least that's what I've noticed. But you get to this through knowing the person not just chit chatting with them..or looking at them?

[Bluegameroyon]

well, by knowing them, you'll be able to tell more easily if the person is single or not.

same thing with looking at them... though it's not so easy..

i hope I'm helping you out =/

[mattclark242]

no I never had one. but sometime get mad if I see a couple. I onley like one girl in school ask her out on twitter she like it but never right me back to make a time. I ask another girl out but I dont like any other girl right now.

[c7777]

Sometimes I can tell, not often, but Id day people who are maybe a little more unsociable and insecure sometimes you can tell with them. Nothing to be embarassed about though.

[Asker]

like social awkwardness and such ?

I'm not embarassed, just a litlle bit upset that my very own little sister is ashamed of me and thinks I'm a freak.

[jimbojkd]

why does she you are a freak? that's mean. I would have some serious words to your sister about that. there is no way I would accept that from any of family members. but your not a freak. just cause you never a had a boyfriend. I am 29 and never had a girlfriend.

[Asker]

she thinks it's "bizarr" for a girl to never have had a boyfriend by 20. Besides I'm not a popular girl who has a ton of friends, just a few so she sort of make it seem like something is off with me. So well I try not to let it get to me knowing that well the fact that nobody ever interested me and that I had a religious upbringing which sort of made me (and still does) avoid parties and other social gathering might explain it partly :) But you're right, there is nothing wrong with this.

[WalterRadio]

Sometimes I can look at a girl and tell she is a virgin. There is just a naivety about them that women don't have.