Should I be comfortable with my boyfriend going to a concert with another girl?

[amIcrazy]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and four months now. We have been basically living together for about 8 months. Lately he has had this friend who is a girl pop up out of no where. He is really social and has a lot of friends but she's not someone he's mentioned to me before. A few weeks ago she asked him to pick her up from the airport. Now he is going to an out of town concert just the two of them. He did ask me if it would be okay if he went. My immediate reaction was "yes, go, I don't wan to sound like I don't trust you." They are coming back tonight. I tried to talk to him about how uncomfortable I am with it and his response was that I am being jealous and I don't trust him, just like I had thought it would be. I also mentioned that I would feel more comfortable if I had met her and he told me he has a lot of friends that are girls he might want to go hang out with without me and doesn't feel like it's necessary that I meet them. Should this bother me?

[DebiPie]

Girl, I hate to tell you this, but that "pop up" girl is his new girlfriend. Men don't pick up their girl "friends" to the airports, & go out of town to concerts with them. And they don't keep them a secret for any amount of time.

You aren't being jealous, you have a gut feeling & you know what it's telling you. It's telling you the same thing that I told you. When he gets home you need to point blank ask him about this.

Now, guys will always deny cheating unless they are caught in the act. And then they sometimes deny it. But talk to him, get some honest answers. Tell him you are uncomfortable with this arrangement. Find out who she is & what she means to him.

Good luck.

[justanotherguy00001]

I would do all of that if she were a good friend. And keeping a secret is different then not realizing she's even a threat.

All that, and I have never cheated. It's possible that the guy mentioned (after all, I'm not him) may be cheating, but don't stereotype all men into cheating as soon as we get the chance. I am great friends with many members of both genders and enjoy doing random activities together, none of which I believe crossing any line (like physical intimacy, excessive flirting.)

[DebiPie]

To justanotherguy00001: right, I'm not. My best friend is a man, has been for 17+ years, even during my marriage. No hanky panky there. My point here is her bfd hasn't introduced the girl to her. And that is a must if your going out of town with her. It's just common sense, and you know that. Right? In any relationship.

[Cynthia325]

I think you have a perfectly valid reason to be bothered. I would be bothered, and you should have told him you didn't like it. Its one thing to have old freinds of the opposite gender that you've known for a long time before your boyfriend came into your life, but I never liked the idea of new friends, especially ones you don't know and he doesn't want you to meet. I'm not saying he is doing anything but them hanging out together alone and him saying it doesn't matter if you meet her...is very unthoughtful on his part. Tell him and don't let it happen anymore, It will only build up and make your reaction worse when you do actually say something to him.

[queenofpeen]

It doesn't really matter whether you "should" be bothered or not, the important thing is that you are. You can't help how you feel, and I think your boyfriend could stand to be a bit more understanding instead of making you feel like a "typical paranoid girlfriend."

But besides that, I'd be VERY bothered. I'm usually pretty rational about this kind of thing but... how does he even know her? What the heck?

[Coffinspire]

I agree with you hun, there is no way in hell my boyfriend would be going to a concert with a girl that's I've never met before without me. Maybe I wanna go too?!