My boyfriend talks to girls online, should I be worried?

[brifaye]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months, we met through an online dating site, I'm not the prettiest or skinniest and my personality isn't much better, but he loves me anyway. So recently I've been seeing him message girls, most of which have half naked (literally) pictures of them posted everywhere. I'm very insecure and this doesn't help. Should I really be worried, or just let it go? I don't know how to talk to him about it either. How should I approach it?

[Mahalko]

This may sound weird coming from a guy, but if I was a girl, I'd be less hurt if I saw my boyfriend watch p*rn than message slutty girls..if the convo shows he somehow knew them, be worried. How did you find out anyway..? Bring it up like that, like how you found out (just don't make it sound you're spying on him).

It bothers you, so letting go would mean pushing your own feelings aside, and that's not fair to yourself. So you *should* tell him about it first. Personally I think *before* you make the breakup-move if his answer is not satisfactory. Let him follow your logic step by step until your decision, he'll understand. Or not, but then he was never for you in the first place.

But surely, don't let it go..it's not healthy for your self-image which you already mentioned is not as high (as it should :-) )

[brifaye]

He left himself logged in while we were watching a movie on the commuter. The message popped up during. Her picture was her with nothing but underwear on in a sexy pose. He had told me he cut all ties with the girls from before and at first said he hadn't spoken to her in a year or so.

[Mahalko]

I'm sorry to hear that - if he actually lied to you in the first place, he was actually trying to do one of two things: or avoid hurting you, which implies he *knew* it would hurt you, or straight-faced lie to you, which implies he *knows* it should hurt the relationship altogether..

There's only one alternative, is that he simply has no backbone himself..which can be talked through in time..but that depends on his charachter etc.. if you feel he deliberately wanted to hide this..talk&dump him..

[katylaura]

are these girls he knew before (ie. long term friends, who happen to be slutty) or girls he's finding online? if it's the latter, you've got to talk to him about it. just say that because you two got together online, you're worried that he'd find someone else the same way. give him the chance to explain why he's doing what he's doing, and take it from there.

good luck, and don't be so hard on yourself.

[brifaye]

These are girls he had a sexual relationship with before me, that's the only reason I'm worried.

[star709]

I would be worried,

I am kinda a blunt person when it comes to things like this, so I would ask him up front

[Anonymous]

I'd be worried enough to break up if I were in your shoes.

[Opinion Owner]

I phrased that wrong. I know what he's doing. I will break up with him, he should know that I'm no idiot.

[Thedonkeyman]

You should confront him about this. And be forceful about it too. If its seems like he's lying, then dumb his ass fast.

[goldgunsgirls]

Bad idea. Being forceful doesn't end well and puts him on the defensive and starts an argument where neither person listens to the other.

[CuriousEddie]

If you're going to break up, make that clear first. Break up, then tell him why.

[xondatkushx]

Yes you should be worried...You should talk to him about this problem...Tell him how you feel about it,

[goldgunsgirls]

This. Don't come to any conclusions, wait for him to explain himself, and if you're not satisfied/think he's lying then you should consider breaking up with him. Cause you need trust in a relationship.

[asianfreak]

if he's doing stuff like that, you should be worried about it

[calialltheway1993]

Yes, brifaye, you must be worried.

[Danielairy]

He's horny :D