How do I convince this girl I am not a player?

[SoberIrishman]

I've finally found a girl I am so into and we have a great time around each other, but her past of being cheated on with every guy she dated, and me being more into casual sex than relations is getting in the way. I seriously want to date this girl because she's everything I want in a girl.

I've already introduced her to some of my close friends, took her to my favorite hangout, and tried to get her to meet my parents, but she needed a rain check. I never do any of these things with a girl I want to sleep with, and I always tell girls I'm strictly interested in sex with ahead of time that there is no relationship coming from it.

Also, this girl, I don't even think about sex with her, well unless she brings it up.

Anyway I can show to her that she means a lot to me? I may be taking her out tonight for a movie date, so anything to help while out tonight would be great.

Updates

+1 y

I am not a player, you morons. Players lie and manipulate girls to get into their pants, all my casual sex adventures were always up front and honest. I never lied to a girl telling them I really liked them, only to f*** them and never talk to them. Too many stupid people on this site don't understand the difference. You're all useless to me with your answers because that's what you focus on.

Updates

+1 y

Well not al of you are usless, some of you have a good point to be made. But I'm almost 24 and experienced all the things I needed to with others. I am now tired of it want to be with one girl. The amount of girls I've slept with his low, especially for my. My current count 12, and I get tested every 6 months, and alwas used a condom with every girl, even if she was on the pill.

[vmw2008]

These are the downsides of a casual sex lifestyle. Put yourself in her shoes. Even as a player yourself, you'd have to admit you probably wouldn't take a girl seriously if she were also more into casual sex. It's a risk with people like that. You can't be sure they're being honest, or even if they are at the time, you can't be sure they won't quickly change their mind. It's also a concern that maybe you're super into her now because most players enjoy the chase, but that you're simply the kind of person who can't be satisfied with one person for long. That you'll start to cheat or be shady or even just flat out dump her once you're bored.

No offense but she has ever right to be concerned. I've had trust issues in the past as well, so my priorities in men have changed a lot. At the top of the list I look for a guy who is clearly a relationship, commitment guy who has never been a player (or at least hasn't been one for a long time). You'll have to do some serious work to gain this girl's trust, and even if you do, I fear you'll break her heart eventually.

[vmw2008]

While I don't like either word, player is usually the male equivalent of a slut. The lying and manipulating does not matter (although makes it worse), they're words used to refer to people of either gender that have lots of casual sex with different people. So many a girl doesn't lie, manipulate, or have sex out of emotional insecurities. But if she has a lot of casual sex with different people like you have, what will you think of her? Is she a slut? Someone you'd want to be in a relationship w

[vmw2008]

ith? I personally think it shouldn't matter, but to a lot of men it does. So I hold men to the same standard.

[vmw2008]

ith? I personally think it shouldn't matter, but to a lot of men it does, so I hold them to the same standard. I also have experience with guys who do the casual sex thing a ton with no relationships, and have found they have a rough time settling down without some cheating on the side. So if player is the word you can't deal with, perhaps "man-whore" is more fitting.

[SoberIrishman]

The reason for my casual sex is because I have an overly active libido, and I mean only active, so after point masturbation does nothing, and I can't focus on things in my day to day life without actual sex. I'd prefer a relationship, and I'm trying to show her my loyalty. The first night she came over she ended passing out in my bed. Instead of waing her up, I put my blanket on her and slept in the living room. What play do you know of that would do that?

[vmw2008]

You don't have to justify to me why you have lots of casual sex. I was merely trying to get you to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Like I said before, if a girl had the exact same sexual lifestyle as you, while you were more of the relationship type, what would you think of her? I'm not saying you're a bad guy or in the wrong, I'm just pointing out that you would be worried too. TBH I'd love to be out having sex all the time with any guy I wanted, but I know finding a guy for a relationshi

[vmw2008]

p after would be much harder. Either because he thinks I'm a slut, a player, unable to commit, more likely to cheat, etc. None of those things are true, but it's often what people think.

[relationshipDNA]

This is super confusing, The very notion that you are into "casual" sex than relations supports the very notion that you are a player...

Consider how she would think this way. A player usually only wants one thing...which is sex...and there you are...all about the sex...even if that's not all you think about when it comes to her.

Sounds like you really like her, but if she's jaded, you not wanting more than sex only exacerbates her fears that she isn't worthy of a guy who will love her wholly and fully. Just because you're clear about your intentions doesn't mean she won't hope for more. She can't help it.

The only way you can show her that she "means" a lot to you, is if you're willing to give yourself wholly to her...otherwise you're just another guy who just wants to stick your thing in her without the responsibility of taking care of her heart.

I wish you luck in love...

[Shazam]

You seem to want something more than a casual sex fling with her, I assume, so as long as that comes across to her and you avoid temptation of others, you should be fine. Of course, because her past sticks with her, she will probably have a hard time trusting others. Which can be a smart thing to do, but harder on you. Be natural and show her that you appreciate her. Spend more time together and see how things come along.

[Anonymous]

Take your time and do not rush it. In a while you will be more sure if she is the girl for you and she will also see that you are worthy to be trusted. You are obviously young and the chase of the whole thing is fun. Enjoy each other and enjoy proving yourself to her. Actions are much more meaningful than words. Best of luck

[Anonymous]

Wow, I replied to a post you did about nice guys from last year today by mistake. I see you learned. Congrats man. Forget about my reply on that post.

[Anonymous]

Tell her what you just told us. I'm sure she'll start to come around if she knows that you really like her and you're not interested in sleeping with her yet. Also, don't talk about sex with her, or go farther than she's comfortable with. When a guy just tries to get in your pants and tried to push you to do things, you know immediately that he's just using you. So tell her what you told us and don't pressure her.