Guys, do you ever feel male competition?

Guys do you ever feel male competition with other guys over a girl? For example, if you are working on a lab with a girl lab partner and you notice that a guy across the room is giving the eye to this girl and smiling. Would you feel threatened by this other guys "eye" attention? Would you feel like you had to compete, even if you had a girlfriend? What I am trying to understand, is do guys feel jealous if another guy gives shows interest in a girl even if they have a girlfriend? Or do guys only feel jealous (competition) if they like the girl and another man is giving her attention. Do guys feel like this with any girl? Guys, what do you do when you feel the male competition?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I hate hate hate competition. I hate how I become, how bad it can make you feel. That you wish so bad for the other guys loss, doing everything you can to make sure you get the girl you have your eyes on.

    Honestly most of the time, I always back off. Especially if I know he had his eye on her first. But if by chance I really know the girl well, and I've obviously spent a bit of time with her, then I'll definitely compete. Sad but true, it's survival of the fittest, even when it comes to dating.

    • Amen brother!

      I think this is why in most cases guys simply back off, you might be interested but bugger to that sort of jealousy.

      But every once in a while you really like the girl, and then "he" shows up...suddenly you carefree and leisurely pace is feel compelled to make her yours or risk losing her forever.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Sometimes.

    Depends on the woman, the level of connection, level of interest.

    There's a former crush (tiny bit of a crush still there); story of my life. Not interested. Wouldn't even give it a chance. She has had several boyfriends.

    Honestly, they seem like really good guys, so, well, if she isn't interested in me, I'm at least glad that she seems to have the sense to pick some good guys. I feel a twinge of frustration and maybe a tiny bit of envy, but honestly, I don't hate these guys, and we're on friendly terms. It's not personal with me.

    I'm no competition to anyone, so there's no real need for that very often. I try not to hold grudges against people that don't deserve it.

    There are guys who really p*ss me off. But not often.

    Similar to the "jealousy" aspect, sometimes we men get a little "brotherly" if we aren't intersted in the girl but we love her as a friend. I feel protective of my real friends.

    I have a good buddy, now he can kick some butt. He's a huge guy. And just so you know, I'm a little guy. I'm 5'7; 150 pounds. He's like 6'3 and works out constantly.

    Well there was this time where my friend wasn't around, and this old guy (we both knew) started talking to me. Then the old guy started talking about my buddy's sisters in a dirty way, and suddenly I wanted to punch this guys teeth out.

    It felt really strange, since I'm not really all that close with his sisters, and his sister's are attractive, so I bet they get that a lot, but I felt this urge to smash his face in. They're awesome women, so I feel a little over protective sometimes. It was as if he was talking that way about my sister.

    All I did was warn him that if I ever hear him talking about my friend's sisters in that way again, I was going to punch him.

    It was actually quite funny I suppose, (especially when he kind of backed down) but I was ready to fight this guy. I was seething p*ssed off.

    I have a woman friend that I've been friends with for years. I'm not interested. She's not either. So, a few years later, she announces that she's engaged. While happy for her, I suppose maybe for a tiny while I had a jealousy about kind of "losing her" as a friend. I didn't really know him well, so I suppose there was a hint of awkwardness, like one of those non verbal "if you hurt her" warnings, though I didn't really think he would.

    I suppose that on the other side of the coin, for a short while, her fiancee felt a little bit of competition over her with me. It certainly felt that way. I think that by now he's gotten to know me enough to know that she's not someone I'm interested in and that she's made it clear to him that she loves HIM.

    Now we're really cool. It's almost like I gained a friend in law, and got a better relationship with my "sister" when part of me kind of thought I'd lose her friendship after the wedding, and it seems like all that tension was gone since we've gotten to know each other better.

  • Yes, we do, and well when I feel like another guy is competing for the same girl as me (esspecially if I already have a thing going on with her) then I will become aggressive with the other guy and take some measures to prevent him from being able to interact with that girl.

  • I don't play these kinds of games.

    I'm interested in women who are interested in me. Period.

    I have never fought with another guy to "win" a girl, and I never will.

    Why not?

    It's humiliating. And no girl's worth it.

    Any girl who thinks the guys who so all this stuff really want her is missing the point: the guy's main motive is *not* to win the girl, but to put one over on the other guy.

    • Very nice comment, I do feel similar. I get the people who disagreed are the girls who like having many men on their fingertips. This only further shows your argument that no girl is worth it. If a girl is willing to let two guys go after her, then obviously she wasn't really serious to begin with for either of them.

    • I was able to learn from the mistakes of others. Seeing these soap operas when I was young taught me that no good ever came from them.

      I have been tempted a few times, but it's just not worth it.

  • Yes we do. Its called **** fighting.

    • Even if you have a girlfriend? So you are saying that you feel this way even though you are not going to date her?? You wouldn't even have to "like" the girl and you would still feel jealous if another guy shows interest?

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    • I'm guessing with that comment you're a little young to say that... when your 40, you won't feel the same way...

    • I may be young, but the way I act and my personality (shy) I highly doubt it. But thanks anyways.

  • I feel jealous for sure. Which is weird because I'm not usually jealous. But when I know a girl I like is being eyed by a guy, I start to feel kind of hot and irritated and I feel the "male competition." When I feel it, I try to keep my head up.

    (I had an experience like this not even a hour ago :) )

    • So do you only feel this when you like the girl? Or do you feel this with any girl, just because she is a girl?

    • Usually only when I like a girl. I'm not the jealous type except when I like a girl. A girl I really like now was talking to me the other night at dinner and this guy who I know also has a crush on her had his eyes staring right at us when we were talking. So I felt pretty hot headed then. But other than that, not really. :)

    • Thanks for your answer. At least it is not like some other guys answers here where it is like " she is a girl, so she is MINE.!!!" Even if the guy doesn't like her, he has to be the top dog. That is just crap. I think if the guy truly likes the girl he would be extremely jealous if another guy was eyeing his crush.

  • Yeah. I feel it a lot with some of my friends. Sometimes they seem way superior to me as far as style and fitness.

    I especially feel it when a guy does something for the girl I like. A guy went and got the girl I like a piece of cake (her leg is broken so she couldn't). Same guy the next time we all eat together sits next to her after I tried to sit next to her. I feel so jealous and competitive, but at another level I feel like I can't compete with him.

  • I don't feel this competition. If I notice that the girl initially gives the other guy more attention than she gives me, then I let the other guy have her. So I let the girl decide completely. If she does not show interest in me, then I progress no further.

    I will only be interested in a girl who shows interest in me. But a simple smile at me on a daily basis is enough for me to get the point that she is interested. I can read subtle clues.

    • Hey that is good that you can read subtle signs, because guys can never read mine. I am never really out there. I will smile, and talk to them, but if they don't do anything I give up. So then you only feel competition if you like the girl and she likes you. Lets say she likes you, but some other guy is eyeing her. How do you feel?

    • I am older now, and I learned how to read people's thoughts in general now. I couldn't do that too well when I was a teenager. I was young and stupid like all other teenage guys. To answer your question I let her talk to the other guy anyway. If the guy is s douchebag, then she will ignore him. If the guy is more charming than I am and she falls for him, then he can have her. If she does fall for him, then it means she really didn't like me much anyway. But I will never live that scenario.

    • After college you don't pick up girls in class or labs anymore. You are left to your own devices.

  • I only feel competition when someone is eyeing a girl I like, if I don't really care for them then I don't mind other guys hitting on them. simple as that.

    • So you only feel competition when you like the girl, not just any girl?

  • if I know another guy likes the same girl, I will be the so called "good guy" and let him have her. its useless to have two guys fighting over the same girl... especially if those two guys...are friends

    • Yeah but what if the girl wants you, and not that other guy. You are just going to let him take her??

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    • Yeah, animals!!! lol. People are animals you know. lol.

    • Technically we are, but officially we arent, yes there's a difference

  • I do all the time and I hate it because I always loose. Like in high school I liked this girl that lived in my neighborhood. I asked her out and she said, "ewww I would never date a white guy because they have small dicks." then later I liked this girl. We flirted a lot and she stopped talking to me because she met an australian. I asked her if I did something wrong and she told me that I was perfect but didn't have an accent.

    Women are very choosy. As long as I'm average height, make an average living and look average. They will always over look me.

    • What exactly do you do?? You get jealous over a guy giving attention to another girl even though you have a girlfriend? I am a little confused. I am not that choosy. I just want somone that loves just me, but as for the accent or whatever you said, that really doesn't matter to me. But contrary to what that other girl said, I would probably date a white man. I am not racist, but I am white, and I am more attracted to white guys.

    • I just give up because in the past I've only embarrassed myself. I let the other guy have her because if she wanted to be with me she would have stayed with me. The best thing to do is forget she ever existed and find another girl that will probably just choose some other guy over me. All I can do is hope it doesn't happen next time like I have been for the past 14 years.

  • If I had a girlfriend or the other guy did, there shouldn't be any competition, but yes, we do feel jealous when we like a girl and some other guy is eying her or trying to get her attention especially if they give attention back.

  • you like a guy that has a girlfriend cuz you want to homewreck.

    He seems to dial up attention to you (or you seem to think so) when other guys are noticing you two working together.

    You want to know if this means something. You'll forever ponder it and NEVER take any freaking initiative and ironically if any guy or this guy takes TOO MUCH intiative and starts actually not ignoring you, you'll find it clingy and worthless.



  • I feel competition constantly. I don't compete though because I don't see any point in it. I know that I will never be the best, so I'm not going to compete. It's hard though because I feel like if I ever "win" then someone better is going to come around the corner and I do not like that possibility, so I have really stopped playing "the game" lol

  • I only care if it's a girl that I am interested in too. That's the case for all guys... At least it's definitely the case with all my mates.

  • guys feel the need to be protective over some stuff if its just a girl that they don't know then they won't be but if it is a girl they they like then they will be protective

  • From time to time, or all the time.

  • I think I get jealous if the girl I like is with other guy. I won't compete if I know she likes me more and I will try to protect her if other guy approach her, that's human nature. However, if the girl doesn't like me at all, and I guess I won't do anything.

  • Mostly I shrug it off and let him have her, I don't want to be with someone who one minute is chummy with me then the next making googoo eyes with someone else.

    BUT...if I really like a girl, and I'm pretty sure I want to pursue things with her, if I see some other guy trying to muscle in I simply speed up my plans, ask her out first, make my play while I still can.

    I'm not ugly, I'm reasonably good looking and fit, but I am no Brad Pitt, so if I feel threatened by competition I feel I have to act fast to secure my interests otherwise I fear I'm gonna get muscled out rather quickish.

    When I was younger I was rather nerdy looking, and girls would at best humour me and guys would unsurprisingly assert their dominance over me when I tried to talk to a girl I liked. Oh sure I was cute, I was funny, but I wasn't a bag of testosterone.

    I was also pretty shy.

    Thankfully I am a mid tweeny now and I am much better looking, much fitter (sorry ladies, no photographs) and much more confident, but I still remember what it felt like to be marginalized and it always comes back to me when I see a guy I feel threatened by who may be attempting to "steal my girl".

    Thankfully I am really picky, very emotionally guarded and not a horn-bag so I will only be interested seriously in one girl at a time and usually she's met my high standards enough that its rare I feel I have to face a serious competitor.


What Girls Said 2

  • they probably do constantly.

  • Male competition, history has it .

    1) In Greek mythology, Menelaus and Paris brought about Trojan war for Helen.

    2) In Indian epic Ramayana, Ram battles against Ravan for Sita.

    • That was awesome.

    • Actually.. Helen only helped spark the Trojan War, it wasn't the determining factor or the main reason why they went to war on Troy, but nice.