Do guys like competition?

[Anonymous]

Ive liked this guy for over a year now.he said he really likes me a lot to but he doesn't seem to want a commitment.also I feel like he thinks he's got me where he wants me because he pretty much knows I don't have a boyfriend and that I want to be with him.I know it sounds bad but if I told him I had a boyfriend or was dating someone do you think he would come around?when we first met I technically had a boyfriend and he tried so hard to get me but now that I'm single I think he thinks he got me wrapped around his pinky.i know you would say to forget him but I know there's a connection between us but he's like a lot of guys who don't realize what they have til its gone.that way if I'm dating someone else whether I am or not he knows that I'm not pining over him and am living my life.

Updates

+1 y

Well basically I moved on because I realized he just wants to fool around and so I don't care anymore and so now he's texting me all the time wanting me back but I told him he had his chance and he was never there for me so I moved on.

[Spelunker]

Do guys like competition? That's a very broad question.

Never assume that because guys can be competitive, that they're always competitive in every situation.

"he said he really likes me a lot to but he doesn't seem to want a commitment." define "likes me" and define "commitment."

"if I told him I had a boyfriend or was dating someone do you think he would come around?" would he come around *to what*?

This question illustrates one of the major flaws in female "logic." you and this guy want different things, assuming that you want a commitment and he does not. but rather than accepting reality and dealing directly with your practical options, you decide to indirectly manipulate the situation to try reaching your goal. reality doesn't work that way. life's not a chess board where the pieces move in predictable ways; life's more like a billiards table where you never know exactly how the cue will scatter the balls.

imagine you want to work at Store A, but they don't pay as much as you want and can take you or leave you as an employee. so you decide to tell the manager of Store A that you've got another job offer, hoping that this lie will make Store A "come around" to your way of thinking when they can take or leave you as an applicant. Your reasoning is absurd, and you have no power or control over this situation. You *are* pining over this guy. But pretending that you're not pining will only end up causing you more pain and confusion because your clever plan will backfire. And giving the benefit of doubt and assuming your plan actually works, how will you know that he wants to be with you because he likes you, verses how he just wanted to stick it to the competition? do you want to feel like a victory trophy?

This guy is looking for a hump and dump. You have two options: be his hump and dump, or scratch him from your list and look for a guy with more similar goals.

And for the record, if a girl pulled this kind of crap on me, I'd run away from her as fast as my adidas could move me.

[cliffyd159]

AMEN

[gotc147]

Double amen.

[Euro-Raver]

This guy is a pro, hump and dump man, hump and dump

[Asker]

I learned my lesson and have done a lot of reflecting and figured out I deserve to be with a quality guy and I'm not going to waste my time anymore on guys who only want to jerk me around.

[DrJones]

As usual, the answer is "it depends on the guy." I can't speak for other guys, but I can tell you what I would do:

If we were dating for a year and you told me you had a boyfriend, I'd drop you like a hot potato. Then I'd ask some other girl(s) out. If I found out that you made up the whole boyfriend story just to make me jealous, I might take you back, but you'd never be more than a f***-buddy.

Most, but not all, of the guys I know would basically do the same thing. There are guys who really do enjoy that kind of jealousy game, but most of them are under 16 and/or think of themselves as "players."

[Asker]

No you got it wrong when we first met I had a boyfriend but then a couple months later I broke up with him 1)for myself & 2) in hopes I could work things out with this guy.But after I did he seemed to pull away.Then later when I left him when we did reunite he said what kept him back was my boyfriend being in the way.I thought that was BScuz he had plenty of chances to be with me after that but said he didn't want a relationship.Basically I realized he wanted he just wanted to hook up&my boyfriend was in the way that

[DrJones]

Uh, I'm not sure if I followed all of that. Anyway, it sounds like you figured everything out. If he just wants to fool around and that's not what you want, there's not much you can do except move on.

[Asker]

What I meant was he was using my being in a relationship at the time as an excuse as to why he wouldn't commit.but when I realized that wasn't true and he just wanted to fool around I dropped him.He wanted me to be available for him at all times but not vise versa.Now he texts me a lot but I told him I basically moved on.

[SamSamSam]

Well here is the thing.

If you really like him, but he seems to not be commited, I say you take control and ask him if he is willing to be commited or not. Spice things up a bit. But don't make it into an argument, cause that just leads to drama, but I say you just ask him. And if he says I don't know, I say you forget him, cause he didn't staright up say I want to be commited. He needs to show that he likes you and WANTS to be commited. He shouldnt NEED to be commited. It wants to be commited, then I think he really likes you. get what I mean? good luck ! (:

[LoveHate1216]

Guys alwayyyyys want what they can't have! so if he figures out your unavailable...he'll definitely get jealous! but you shouldnt lie..bc that just sounds pathetic! you should actually go out,start talking to someon you may be interested in...dont use him! just talk to him as friends hangout a lot etc..and when the guy you like notices youve been spending a lot of time with another guy,he should try to get your attention back..and if he seems to not care..thats when you move on!

[Spelunker]

No guy alwayyyys wants the same things as other guys.

[cliffyd159]

Thats... um wrong...

[gotc147]

@LoveHater1216: Wrong.

[soOUCH]

Guys love competition. A guy has to feel like "I win you" versus "I have you" sometimes. Those men are usually asshats and more trouble than they are worth in the long run. If I were you, I would just be gone with this gameplayer.

[Spelunker]

Thank you for thinking you can speak for all men on Earth.

[soOUCH]

I'm not saying women don't like/take up challenges either.

[gotc147]

Wrong.

[lochnessmonsterwang]

Hilarious. Notice how all the women are dead wrong.

Wanting what you can't have and pursuing it are two entirely different things. The type of guy who would actively seek out intimate contact from a female that is in a relationship is the type of guy who won't be sticking around for long, anyway.

So, this really depends on a number of factors. Is he a sleazeball? Are you looking to be "f***ed and chucked?"

If you've answered "yes" to both of these questions, then I think this sounds like a pretty sound course of action. If not, you should probably just ask him over.

[krrishtiano]

I certainly like competition. All men love the concept of war. Most of the things we like today like sporting competitions are the modern day equivalent of the primal need for some action. Coming to you case - there is a difference between motivation and desperation. But instead of trying to create the competition of another "guy in your life," try to motivate him by following something of the carrot and stick sort. Id say definitely do things like playing hard to get and acting distinterested and above all by having fun in doing things without him. Make him miss you and create the desire in him (by making use of the time you spend with him properly) to want to earn your love and respect. Guys take advantage of especially such girls who are incapable of having fun when on their own and need someone to initiate the action.

[The-Dude-Next-Door]

Guys like competition of all kinds: not just for girls. Actually I don't like competition over girls, but I do like competition for everything else life has to offer. If a girl told me she was not single, then I would not pursue dating her, because I am encouraging her to cheat. That is wrong. I hat cheating and I will never encourage it.

If you want him, don't tell him you are dating somebody else. Tell him that you really want him to call you sometime. Tell him you are single.

But to answer the general question about other forms of competition. I enjoy competition in my career with my coworkers and friends, trading stocks with my friends, and working out with my friends. Everything that is not related to girls is competitive to me among my friends, because it makes life more fun. It gives us something to do that is better than boring.

[TexPlayboy]

Guys usually want what they can't have or what someone else wants.

A girl is more attractive when she is with someone else.

Just act less interested in him and find someone else who will treat you like you want to be treated. Games are for kids.

Good Luck,

James

[DrJones]

>Guys usually want what they can't have or what someone else wants.

I know some pretty good divorce lawyers. Sounds like you'll need several ;)

[wally]

we do like competion but not too much because we'll figure out that we are wasting our time trying too hard. so you can tell him that you're seeing somone now but nothing serious btw you guys.

that way he have some hope and might try to get with you in that case tell him that you're type of girls who like be commited to one person.

[Littletad]

Do not lie. It's best to ignore a guy for a while and pretend you have moved on, rather than laying your are dating someone. Once he sees you ignoring him and moving on, perhaps then he will confess his feelings.

But if he's the type of guy who wants to play mind games, I'd forget about him.

[raguraj616]

it is just that you both guys have a less possesiveness on each other tht is the problem try to love each other so much tht you can't live without him and he can't live without you

[kairon156]

no

[Anonymous]

yeah I think they love competition

[Asker]

Do you think I should lie to him and say I'm dating someone?

[The-Dude-Next-Door]

NO

[Spelunker]

No, and hell no should you lie and say you're dating someone else.