I somehow can't shake the feeling that he likes me?

[babinator]

And it's completely stupid because he rejected me. There was a lot of flirting, driving me home from partys, then distancing himself again before the cycle started anew. Eventually decided to tell him I'm single and that I'd love it if he came to an event he was originally not going to come to. He showed up early. Thought this meant he was interested, told him I liked him. He then tells me he doesn't want a relationship but he still thinks I'm fantastic etc.

Great. I made sure he knew I wasn't mad, he still flirted after, but I've kept my distance since.

Now there were pictures on Facebook with me and another guy (friend) watching movies at mine that he would have definitely seen.

Pretty much straight after he started snapchatting me about his day. What's his problem?

[xxblue_eyes]

Unfortunately, I'm going to respectfully disagree with lordblackladder1. I've been caught in a hot/cold cycle so many times with guys, and I know exactly how you feel. Guess how many times it has actually worked out? ZERO. The more you back away, the more they try, but they're not going to actually commit. They just like to keep things in this stupid ambiguous area so that they know they could have you if they wanted to, but they don't have to actually have to tie themselves down. Know that he's probably doing the same thing to other girls. If I were you, I would keep other options open and hang back. If he steps up his game, fine, but proceed with caution. If you demonstrate that you have high self-esteem, that you have other options, and that you're not obsessing over whether or not he's paying attention to you, then there's a TINY chance that he might come around. But please, keep your options open and don't bet on it.

In my experience, whenever a guy was really interested in me, he made things happen and didn't play games. I knew from the start that he was into me and I never had to wonder. Whenever guys have left me confused, even if they said that they thought I was amazing, it always ended up in disappointment.

The key is to remember that you want to be pursued, and that you're worth the effort. Expect nothing less.

I hope this was helpful and good luck! :)

[lordblackadder1]

maybe it never worked out because you always back away? if there's doubt, and you cause MORE reason for doubt OBVIOUSLY they're not going to pursue you, its just in their nature, if you respect it instead of causing them undue mental stress then maybe they'd want to commit, you know, to someone who makes them feel good.

[xxblue_eyes]

The first few times it happened to me, I didn't back away. I kept trying and showing my interest, it ultimately didn't work out, and I felt like an idiot. I changed my strategy and when I stopped putting all my effort into getting them, they tried harder and for a longer period of time, but it still didn't evolve into a relationship. I only made room for them to pursue me, I never played games. The only times it's ever worked was when the showed consistent and unambiguous interest in me.

[babinator]

Thanks so much for your response! It was really helpful and I completely agree. I think if someone liked you, they'd consistently show you.

[xxblue_eyes]

You're so welcome, I'm glad you found it helpful! Sorry I couldn't offer the most optimistic insight, I just believe it to be true, and I think it's worth knowing so that you can make room for other options. You want someone who knows what he wants and is ready for a relationship. When he comes along, he'll make it easy :)

[babinator]

I completely agree and I'm glad you did. As I said above, I'm trying really hard to remain realistic and I'm always glad to have worst case responses. :)

[xxblue_eyes]

Good! And thanks for best answer! :)

[LoveandWisdom]

I was in a similar situation to which the guy kept giving me all of the obvious signs such as prolonged staring, asking me my opinion about things, coincidentally being in the same places as I was, etc. When I finally did have the courage to ask him, he rejected me and wanted to be friends. At that time, even though I really liked him I wanted to start out as friends and wanted to hang out with him outside of school. Each time I tried to take the initiative and ask if he wanted to go to a club or hang outside of school as friends it never happened. After a while, I lost my courage and did not even want to talk with him and kept my distance. At times, I tried to be as patient with him as I could but overall I had to give up and try to move on with my life from his lack of response.

From what I learned and relating it back to you my advice is that he might be not fully mature at an emotional level and to give it some time. Find out if he has some sort of learning disability if he does it could explain some things. At any rate, he does not know what he wants out of life yet and until he figures that out I would recommend to focus on your self goals until he does. If he doesn't after a certain amount of time figure where he wants to go than it is time to move on to find someone who will appreciate your time and attention without stringing you along.

[xxblue_eyes]

I hope you aren't suggesting that she ask this guy whether or not he has a learning disability. There is nothing in her story that would suggest that he does. It might be helpful if you actually understood what something was before attributing it to someone whom you've never even met, especially with the negative implications, as if everyone doesn't behave in a way that makes sense to you has a learning disability and is therefore socially incompetent.

[babinator]

Thanks so much, that makes total sense. I agree that if he was serious, he'd put in serious effort.

[LoveandWisdom]

I am not implying that she ask him if he has a learning disability but their are people who do have social difficulties about expressing their needs unless the other person asks. It is important to ask so they can gain a better understanding of the other persons needs. People with disabilities do have difficulty expressing themselves because most of their lives they have been ridiculed by others and they do hesitate about expressing how they feel to others especially to someone they like.

[lordblackadder1]

he didn't reject you, he's been in a relationship where his partner did whatever the hell she would like, and that wasn't always respectful to him I'm sure. what he wants is for you to push and show a little more initiative so that he can feel confident that you're actually into him and he's not just flavor of the week. that's my take on it at least. maybe if you like him enough you could do something, you could also just let it go, that's not up to me to decide.

[babinator]

I don't mind taking more initiative, however I'm just scared of pursuing someone that isn't really interested in me. I don't want to be desperate.

[babinator]

I do like him a lot but I'm trying very hard to remain realistic.

[lordblackadder1]

well from what I can see, he likes you too but he's full of doubt, and I can relate. at this point you have to decide if its important enough to you, because that's what women make us do, we have to chase, chase, chase and if we're successful, great if not, we're creepy, I think if you truly gave a shit you would bite the bullet and at least talk it out

[babinator]

First of all, thank you for your responses. To be honest, that's how it seems to me, too. I just find it difficult to move past him telling me he doesn't want a relationship because he seemed so sure and just friendly about it.

[lordblackadder1]

haha no problem, but personally, I say go for it, best case scenario looks good, worst case looks not so bad