Why can't I tell if he likes me?

[Anonymous]

For over 2 weeks, i have been going to a busy coffee shop where a friendly man works. He always remembers my name, my order, smiles at me, tells me it is "good to see me", "thank you for the chat", i can peripherally see him looking my way when im waiting for my coffee, and it seems that he goes out of his way to ask how i am and start small talk... but i can't tell whether he is friendly or likes me. How can I tell? Why is he so hard to read?

[MoniqueTLC]

This can be quite a tricky one, Because he works there, he has to be friendly to all customers. If you notice he chats to you more so than to the other customers, it could be a sign that he's interested in you, but he's not sure if you'll reciprocate the feelings. (he might be thinking you're just being friendly to him because he works there)

Maybe the next time you're there and you chat to him, give him an opener that he'll either take to use, or shut down. For example, at the end of your chat, say to him that you should perhaps have a coffee together somewhere other than where he works. anything lighthearted and friendly. He'll either take you up on it, or just be polite.

At least you should know then where you stand

[Asker]

Thank you that is a great idea! I was almost thinking of saying "oh i didn't want to chat with you for too long as i know you're busy and i djdnt want to disturb", and if he said oh no i love talking to you, then i couod suggest coffee. Haha im so nervous

[MoniqueTLC]

Yeah! Say anything you're comfortable with but will clearly show him that you have a little interest in him.
Guys really don't like to be rejected, and especially since he sees you where he works, and it's your usual spot, he doesn't want to make it awkward for the both of you, so he's probably just holding back

[Asker]

Hi there! Thanks so much for your thorough response and help, today I looked him up and found that he is married haha I guess that explains his flirting and lack of action to ask me out. Thanks again!

[MoniqueTLC]

Oh goodness! Well at least you know now. All the best x

[GingerGuy]

Because it's also good customer service and his job (just like when women do it to us). So that's makes it even HARDER to know. In my experience (probably different for guys lol), it's nothing. But maybe hand him your number or ask if he'd like to have coffee sometime?

[Wise4myage]

He's got shyness issues, so if you like him, consider making the first move.

[Asker]

If he rejects me i might have to find a new coffee shop to go to haha

[Wise4myage]

lol. Yeah, their is that. But don't let that stop you.

[Asker]

As a guy, if you really like a girl would you ask her out anyways?

[Wise4myage]

Heck yeah.

[Asker]

So i assume that if after 2 weeks if he hasn't asked me out, it could be that he is not interested?

[Wise4myage]

Possibly.

[Asker]

Thanks, ill drop some hints and make some small talk, maybe see how he reacts when i see him next week, and if he doesn't reciprocate then ill have my answer :)