My boyfriend is a loser!

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of over a year is the sweetest guy I know. I know for certain I love him, but he's so damn irresponsible! He's 22 with a dead-end job as a stock boy at a liquor store. He has no college education; he dropped out of community college for God's sake!

He just recently moved in with his sister, out of his parents house, and she's such a slob that her apartment is crowded with roaches. He has no car, because he crashed it up a telephone pole.

He can barely afford to pay his sister rent because of his crap job, but several weeks ago felt it was ok to spend $70 of his $200 paycheck that week on BOOZE.

He was never taught good hygiene as a child (he's 1 of a family of 11) and has heinously yellow teeth. I have to DRAG him to the bathroom and MAKE him brush his teeth if I want to kiss him!

He hates showering and he looks like Jesus, with long brown hair and a scraggly beard.

I love him and he loves me, but I don't know how much longer I can stay with an unhygienic, unambitious, booze loving, Jesus look-alike.

What do I do?

HELP.

[Anonymous]

first offf- how can you go out with a guy that looks like jesus christ? and he ALSO has a crappy job? Hun you might be getting youself into big trouble with this one. I understand you love him but what he needs is tough love. very-tough-love. You have to tell him to take a shower, brush the teeth, and cut the hair- LOOK PRESENTABLE. And maybe go back to college? Because to tell you the truth- unless your boyfriend shapes up and stops acting like the loser you say he is- he is going to stay exactly where he is today. working at a dead-end job, and living at his sister's roach infested home. And if he doesn't shape up- tell him its over. because you know you deserve someone who could actually support you. If it were me in this situation- I would have left the loser immediately. so this is my advice to you. use it wisely

[arsenal25]

I can't even believe this is true :x that's is crazy I don't know what I would do well I don't think I would ever go out with a guy like that unless he just turned this way over time. but um first thing first talk to him tell him what bothers you and what he needs to change I mean you are not asking for much like brushing his teeth comeeee on! That's just gross. if no change I think the best thing to do is break up with him, what is the point of dating someone if you don't see a future together? unless you see yourself living with a dirty Jesus look a like

[windyone]

Why would you attach yourself to a guy who doesn't have a plan? What do you think that means for YOUR future. I mean come on there are 3 BASIC things a guy needs for me to be with them, A JOB, CAR, AND HIS OWN PLACE. Those are basics that he should have. Ok if he had a sh*tty job but was putting himself through law school or whatever then hey id give him credit but he isnt. I would break up with him. It sounds to me you want more out of life and he isn't gonna be the one to do for or with you. Just my opinion

[mustang99]

AWWWW! How do you put up with that!? If you do love him, its time for some tough love. Tell him that if he doesn't clean up his act then its over. But, you can do better. Those things you just listed, you shouldn't have to make him do, brush his teeth? Something isn't right, it doesn't sounds like he has any goals for himself, or is thinking of the future. I really think you need to have a GREAT talk with him or end it.

[CerebralCaustic]

Can you accept him -- as he is -- for the next 40 years?

Probably not. I think I got cooties just reading your question...

Love's not enough. I wish it were.

Good luck.

[boi818]

Oh and I bet you're perfect and successful right?

Instead of being judgemental..how bout you try helping him out.. or encourage him to do other things in life..

[Asker]

I do. I encourage him everday. No, I'm not perfect, but if something needs to get done or cleaned or taken care of, I don't sit on the couch for a week staring at it. We do things together and apart. I've been trying to encourage him with smiles, words of love and support, but he is having so much trouble putting money away. I'm not perfect, but I get frustrated by how smart he is and how he cannot, to my knowledge, manage to support himself. What can I do after soft encouragement doesn't work?

[CerebralCaustic]

Interesting how most of the women have suggested that you have the right to change this guy.

He's not a piece of clay for you to mold into a shape you prefer.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

you need to raise your standards and get a better boyfriend. how much of a catch are you if dating a guy like this is even an option

[snickerzbar]

Well damn, sounds like love to me! Maybe you two could go to counseling.

[ironandwine]

tell him how you feel, for starters

and if he loves you, I think he'll understand your concern for his well-being and respect your opinion