What do you do about a depression?

[Anonymous]

I know the best thing is to go to the doctor or to get counseling but the thing is i can't. I can't afford it, i don't have any money. My parents don't want to pay for it because they think I'm putting up a show. They think its one of these things teenagers do to get attention or something. They tell me to get on with life but a depression doesn't work like that.

I have tried talking about it with my parents but they they won't have it. Its almost like they think that a guy can't be depressed.

The worst thing is that i can't show my feelings when my family is around. They only talk me down, they are only negative about it. They don't want to support me. So I just behave like whats expected of me. Every time I'm in a depressed mood, or i am feeling sad they have to give me shit about it, they tell me I'm not supposed to be feeling that way and that I need to stop, but i can't. I can't take it any more, i cry every night in my bed.

[Rainie_]

I've gone to a psychiatrist before for my depression in the past (very very expensive as it was a private one). Its nice to have someone to talk to, especially someone that can explain why you may be feeling that way and get to the root of your problems however you yourself will always have to be the one to drive your life forward.

I was on pills at first but it was an awful time for me to be on it because I was always out partying, clubbing and getting drunk every weekend that it just made me worse, so I eventually stopped that treatment altogether. I think it was good I stopped anyway because I was always so worried about the side effects of it.

How I've gotten better though is first I did get away and moved back to my home country, its one factor but not the main one. I could say a new environment is a good thing for depressed people, specifically one that is very positive, be it new friends, or just stop being in contact with toxic people that brings negativity into your life.

Definitely find something and do something that you are passionate about or like doing. Exercising specifically is a really good one, also keeps your mind busy. My psychiatrist told me that I constantly have to keep my mind busy so I don't have time for bad thoughts.

You also have to constantly remind yourself that things will get better. And even if you are feeling better you will eventually have sudden and incredibly low downs sometimes every now and then where you feel completely hopeless again. I know I have and despite me feeling content about 90% of the time now, at that 10% of feeling low I can even get as bad as to suddenly start cutting myself again. But that only tends to happen every quarter a year or so now when something bad happens to me. But I try to pick myself up again as quickly as I can to make sure Im not staying in that state for too long. The best way to get out of it for me is to talk about it with someone, specifically my best friends (my parents never really know anything) and I talk about my feelings the moment I get them, no matter how crazy (like thinking about my funeral and how I might've died and whatnot), just getting it off my chest just somehow dispels the stuff from my body and mind. You need to find some kind of outlet to your feelings.

Everything will be better I promise, just have to keep being positive, and surround yourself with positiveness. Depression probably won't every go forever but it won't be as bad at all.

[Luminifera]

Ok I'm going to give you some really shit advice, don't take it seriously, you could end up in a really bad place!
So, I was depressed for years, and I didn't know how to fix it. I think my mom had some idea that something was going on, but I always brushed it off and tried to act normal, so she never intervened.
Around a year and a half ago I started self-harming (cutting). I had heard people did it to take their minds off the mental pain by giving it some physical pain to focus on, and wanted to see if it worked. It... kinda worked? But the bad thing is that I kinda started getting addicted to it. I was fascinated by how the little cuts would look, the blood welling up like shiny dark red beads along the cuts. And the sharp pain of it, of course. It became my #1 relief for whenever I was feeling down.
Anyway, let's jump straight to the part that matters. Earlier this year, I had a very bad crisis, attempted suicide, etc. There was a Saturday when I was in bed all morning and the afternoon was ticking off. It was like 4 PM and I hadn't gotten out of bed yet. My mom came to see what was up. At first we argued a bit, because she was like "stop being lazy and get out", but then I started telling her how I was feeling, and I ended up telling her everything from the past 4 years.
Now, the part that matters. I showed her my scars. She was shocked. She had never noticed them on my inner arm and thighs. She got really, really worried.
Couple weeks later, she took me to a psychiatrist. I talked to him, he prescribed me a "mood stabilizer", which I took for two months and didn't really do anything. Halfway through these 2 months, though, he gave me anti-depressants. *Those* did help a lot, and are still helping (he said the mood stabilizer helped transition from no-meds to with-meds). It's like I'm another person entirely. I'm not sad all the time anymore, I'm not gloomy, I don't feel like my life is meaningless and useless, I don't feel like I'm the worst person ever, a monster, unforgivable, that I only ever do bad things, etc etc.
So. What I'm saying is... have something to show to your parents. Shock them. DON'T do something stupid that could actually cost your life, though. Just, I dunno, scare them a little.

[Asker]

yes, i agree. thats really shit advice. nonetheless i will keep this in mind as a final solution to put it like that. thanks for sharing this.

[Luminifera]

Sorry for not being very useful. Then again, I have nothing but my own shitty experience to share. I hope everything goes well for you <3

[Asker]

its better than nothing. i appreciate it.

[ImDeadpoolBaby]

Been living with mine depression for past 8 years or so, and no it's not mild. Magically enough I tried to pull the plug many times. Got plenty of scars and yet somehow magically yet again I still function granted that I'm a sour pessimistic pile of crap, but never less I'm a functional pile of sour pessimistic crap 😂

You can live with depression, not easy and you much rather get rid of it. But I learned to live with my depression and never tried to fix it or get rid of it. Oh and trust me most people, friends or family don't give a rats ass. I used to give hints and would be mocked so I learned to say fuck it and just continue on. Don't let it get to you.

[Anonymous]

Get support, online if you need to.

Go to bed the same time every day, get enough rest, get up the same time.

Exercise regularly, eat good food.

The above will not solve your problem. But it will lighten the load.

Next, you can do cognitive behavior therapy on your own. It's not ideal, but it beats nothing, and it's free. Check out https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Good luck. You're not alone.

[classicroyalty]

You have to do it alone I did alone. I think you should distract yourself , I know it's hard but find a hobby , get addicted to a new tv show , find a friend with who understands. I never found one until the other day. I forced myself to be happy. stop talking to your family mine didn't understand either. it gets better , I know its bad. But the best solution is to become so obsessed with something that you forget about your depression and I know it's hard to be motivated to do anything at all but you just have to try

[Asker]

did this really work for you?

[classicroyalty]

I didn't even know what to label it as , I just knew i was sad and unmotivated af then after lots of research I learned what it was. I hated myself and my friend she is perky and optimistic , she helped me through it. I had school , I distracted myself with that. Last summer I distracted myself by running a pretty little liars tumblr blog, This summer I watched grey's anatomy. I would write sometimes , that would help me feel better, (eg. when i get depressed i update my wattpad book.) my friends are really funnny so i'd call them and they'd distract me but sometimes I didn't feel like talking to anyone , i'd just lay there and cry. then get up act like everything is normal and get distracted. I distracted myself with school so much I made the honor roll so yeah it really worked for me

[Asker]

laying there and crying, that sounds very familiar to me, i do it a lot.

[classicroyalty]

But then you have to get into something. what do you like?

[Asker]

i like writing my thoughts down, they are all in files on my computer. i also like drawing, i have entire folders filled with drawings, and i also like reading books. thats about it

[classicroyalty]

Excellent , Focus on those things , draw your heart out , take it to the next level and soon you wiil get over it

[Asker]

i hope so.

[nala_rawr]

Working out ans a healthy diet, a healthy relationship with someone can make a really big difference. Working out releases hormones that r uppers, having someone to talk to is beneficial for when ur feeling like u need to connect with someone or talk... eating healthy makes i feel clean and pure...

[Asker]

yeah, i can do exercise. but eating healthy not so much.

[Markavia]

Forget doctors and medication. to treat depression you need the help of someone who is not looking for anything in return, i. e someone like me who knows what depression is like

The best you can do on your own is to live a healthy life style, sleep early,

Sleep 8 hrs no more or less
Sleep early and wake up early
Don't use artificial lights or electronics after sunset unless you have to

Eat raw food, no processed or junk or manufactered food
Avoid anything with white suger added to it

Get moving, take walks, get some morning and evening sun light

Get your emotions out (cry, scream, break things), don't supress them, but don't become a drama queen either

Pick up a hobby

And most importantly be who you are.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend online support groups and to find someone to talk to like a relative or friend or stranger on the internet that will understand your feelings and listen. When you are feeling sad try and do some of your favorite things like listen to music or read a book but make sure the book or music is having a positive influence and not negative. If you are in school you can go to the schools counselor to talk or to a teacher. People without mental illness do not understand what it truly feels like, but know that what you're feeling is not your fault. Know that life will get better and sometimes people do grow out of their depression. There are natural medications that you can get at health food stores without a prescription that claim to help with depression and they aren't too pricey. If you have any other questions I will try my best to answer

[ice_vampire]

I don't have any idea but I hope you get well soon.