Why are men less likely to seek treatment for mental illness?

Question

According to the American Journal of Men’s Health,
Depression and suicide are ranked as a leading cause of death among men. Six million men are affected by depression in the United States every single year. Men (79% of 38,364) die by suicide at a rate four times higher than women (Mental Health America [MHA], 2020). They also die due to alcohol-related causes at 62,000 in comparison to women at 26,000. Men are also two to three times more likely to misuse drugs than women (Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality, 2017). These statistics are troubling because they reinforce the notion that males are less likely to seek help and more likely than women to turn to dangerous, unhealthy behaviors.

Why do you think that is?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7444121/

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

A lot of it is down to the stigma of what mental health issues are and how they get labelled as illness irrespective if assessed or not.

A couple of decent UK articles on it.
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/m/men-and-mental-health

https://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/sites/default/files/publication/download/CentreforMentalHealth_TryingSomethingNew_0.pdf

From this article

https://mentalhealthmidlands.co.uk/articles/1-in-8-men-has-a-common-mental-illness
Quote:
The Priory Group [2] ordered a survey of 1000 men in 2015. The survey showed that 40% of the respondents would only seek help if their mental health issues were suicidal thoughts or self-harm. This means that the numbers of men suffering from common mental health issues could be higher.

The statistics also show that 77% of men have suffered with mental issues at some point. Know what that means? Instead of 1 in 8 men having a mental health issue, it could be closer to 6 in 8 men.

So why don’t men talk?
36% of men didn’t ‘want to be a burden’ and 16% of men reported not wanting to ‘appear weak’. 14% of men said they didn’t have anyone to talk to. Put another way? The statistics mean that 1 in 8 men feel they do not have someone to talk to. It also means 2 in 8 men don’t want to be a burden, and 1 in 8 men don’t want to appear weak. Unquote.

I’ve said before I used to do outreach work for homeless people, also young people 12 -25 at various events etc.

even simple things like handing out cards for getting help etc, you hand out a 100 cards to girls 90 taken, do the same with guys you would be lucky to get 20 taken often having to persuade them.

It’s a bit like going to the doctors, I am terrible for it, even when I almost broke my wrist last year, I avoided the doctors saying it would get better, I could not lift a pen up lol.

when I was a teen getting counselling I received all sorts of negative comments that I could not cope etc.

the way society has evolved has made it really hard for guys to admit openly they have a problem and then to go seek help for it.

awkward_author · Accepted Answer

Men are expected to "man up" and be strong. We're discouraged from showing vulnerable emotions. When we do, we're mistreated (to put it lightly). That's why we're reluctant to seek help. It's seen as a weakness, and we don't want to appear weak.

Nomoturtle · Answer

Because disposability isn't something you can get fixed. No medication or hired therapist will make other people care about you.

I could leave it at that, but I just keep seeing questions like this.

It's one thing if the sacrifice is for a purpose, but most men don't even have that anymore.

And even for problems with solutions, crying and venting only works when there's a superior that can resolve your problem. You learn to cry and vent when you're an infant, where making noise and complaining is how you get your parents to fulfill your needs.
Men are socialised out of that behaviour. Women are not.

Typically, men and women have evolved both genetically and behaviourally this way so that women can depend on men to shield them from reality.
For example, an instinctual behaviour like screaming. Women scream, men come running to help. Men do not scream, they are often not worth risking others lives to save.
Another example, something genetic like small tear glands and large tear ducts, making it physically harder to cry. Men are there to solve problems, not create them.
Another example, variability in all genetic attributes. Men are further experimented on by mutations and shuffling to both cost and benefit, because the costs only hurt one disposable man that thereby probably won't reproduce, whereas the benefits may help everyone. Meanwhile, a woman is exposed to less risk because she has more intrinsic value to life itself as the child-bearer.
Another example, behaviours like chivalry along with general biased favour and attention towards women, becoming so extreme as for women and children to be saved first in any crisis.

Many of the behavioural patterns or emotional responses you criticise mirror the genetics, which in turn mirror the game-theory reality that they adapted to, including the needs of women and the species. Women made us how we are on multiple levels, before our first bad experience or societally enforced expectation of "toxic masculinity" or whatever contrivance you care to dismiss it as, just as men probably made women how they are.

I can accept all of that, it's my lot in life. What annoys me is that all of this effort, as well as the millenia-old traditions, and even the millions of years of evolution, none of it was worth it. Women are entirely ungrateful, disrespectful, and worst of all problematise it. You use your tears and complaining to finally point your "fixing finger" at men, attempting to use men to eliminate their own nature.

I don't mean to say this categorically, but it may also help explain this issue.
"The patriarchy" created a society where the strong help the weak, and now the strong are slaves, with everyone scrambling to be the biggest victim so they can claim power over and avoid the responsibilities of the strong.
Feminism might have been the beginning, but now is wrestling in the mud with all sorts of other social dimensions; sexuality, trans, race, etc., for the title of being the most inferior, oppressed, marginalised, and irresponsible, winning the moral jackpot so that they will not have to do anything for themselves. Well, perhaps when you are done fighting, you will get what you want and deserve, and there will be no strength left to fight over.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Personally I think it has to do with immediate gratification as well as avoidance of scheduling/ coordination.

I think many more men would be willing to stop by a workplace clinic for drop in hours for chronic knee aches or depression but they can't bring themselves to make the phone call, put the appointment in their calendar, and show up 1-2 weeks later.

The thing with health appointments, particularly mental health is that a) there's a lot of logistics up front, scheduling, filling out questionnaires etc. and 2) results don't happen immediately. Infact they happen over time because thats how we evolve as human beings, slowly over time.

I think men self medicate because they are impatient and want immediate results to make the problem go away today. They are quick to dismiss options that provide positive coping mechanisms in the long term.

I think younger generations of men are more open to therapy as a process and not just an expensive 5 week show up, check in thing.

Lynx122 · Answer

I don't know I always felt comfortable talking to these psychologists and psychiatrists. Maybe it's because I instinctively felt like I was a bit different or something. But I also only went and talked to them when someone asked me if I would be open to it I didn't think of it myself. But I also didn't think about my internal things at all when I was younger so it never occurred to me to do that.

I don't understand why it has a stigma. Someone who takes care of their body and works out is admired so why should it be different if you take care of your mental health? Just because you don't seek help and deny any problems doesn't make them go away it will still affect you and people around you. Actually it's even worse because if you neglect your body you only hurt yourself for the most part but with mental health you can do damage to a lot of people around you because you didn't take your mental health seriously.

I feel like an expert on mental health now because I've had so much experience and I've thought about this topic so much ^^

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Because there is a stigma about men suffering from it in terms of a masculinity standpoint and a society standard. As men we are expected to endure and tough it out. Seeing anything that resembles possible weakness leads to resentment and scorn by fellow men and women.

It is because of this that mental health isn't taken as serious when it comes to men because we bottle it up and seek other vices to numb the feeling enough. There is also the notion that no one cares about a man's struggle with anything in his life be it his relationships, his career, his state of mind and physical wellbeing. When we finally try to communicate the problem it is not only hard, but it is either shrugged off or seen as negative and weak. It's a crap shoot regardless.

I have lost friends, respect and potential girlfriends when I told them I went to a therapist and psychiatrist when I was a kid for my mental issues. They drop you like a hot potato because they see you as weak and unable to handle life's challenges.

Junior__ · Answer

We're trained not to. Our fathers and our grandfathers taught us from a very young age that a man doesn't show weakness, that he doesn't ask for help, that he never ever should seek counseling. And society as a whole reinforces it. It's hard for women to understand, but this kind of indoctrination is damn near impossible for men to get past. It's similar for the pressure on women to be beautiful all of the time. For men, it's the pressure to be ultra-resilient, self-medicating, and tough at all costs. And when you get older, this gets much harder to live up to. Young men can still carry on with this facade because they have the energy. But old fucks like me don't have the steam for it anymore.
The long and the short of it is that men should see somebody if they're depressed. Our fathers and grandfathers were wrong. They meant well but they were wrong. I think men would be better husbands, brothers, fathers, and friends if they sought mental help for their problems.
And I think you're a very perceptive young woman to bring this up because it's a big problem.

TDDMS · Answer

First off, the APA and psychological industry has been pushing this nonsense that men don't seek mental health, it's just men don't seek mental treatment over the most mundane things like American women are fond of doing. See the main reason why American women are high on prescribed psychotropics is because American women are constantly mollycoddled, have sunshine blown up their ass, are told they fart rainbows and shit puppies, and then when this thing called reality smacks them up the side of their heads, they can't handle it so what do many do? They run to their nearest MD and/or therapist for head meds or 'therapy.'

The other reason men don't seek therapy out as much as women is because psychology has quite the long history of being politicized. Not long ago, homosexuality was deemed to be a mental problem, then the APA installs a butt fucking homo and then suddenly homosexuality is no longer a mental issue, despite homos leading the way in AIDS infection and occupying a sizeable pie for being child molesters. For an even more recent example of the politicization of psychology, the APA has made "toxic masculinity' a mental problem. So if you are a guy who pursues his interests and tells the truth, you are deemed to have a mental problem. Moreover, there is this nonsensical notion of feminists psychology theory, which boils down to, "If you are a woman, all your problems are because of a man. Don't take any responsibility for your issues."

And then finally, another reason why men don't seek any of this nonsense out is because of the APA, et al pathologize EVERYTHING! What's that? You like to awake 30 minutes before your alarm goes off, well then my soon to be client, you have awaken defiant disorder.

There are more reasons for why men don't make use of such 'services.'

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I'm sure that your happy about it 😏
Just for your info that women are more suicidal than men but are less successfull in it which means if women used the same weapons as men and were successfull in committing suicide than the death of women by suicide is double the number of men...

Now why men do not seek mental treatment, maybe because men might feel weak is they seek mental treatment or might think that it's useless, there might be a lot of reasons, there are also many women who doesn't seek mental treatment...

Now why the number of male death is more than female, well there are a lot of factors, for example: men's life ain't easy like women, the society doesn't care about men as much as they care and give importance to a woman, women in general talks a lot and they vent to each other unlike men who sits alone and bury their problems in their minds and hearts, also men are more aggressive and more violent than women which cause them to be more dangerous on themselves or will committ dangerous acts that women won't do... etc

The loss of morals, values and the traditions that are changing, also this new generation with all it's corruption is making our lives worst and that's why we always dream about the simple things that were found in the past, when everything was real and not fake like in the present day...

David_Kek · Answer

Because men who do are at best ignored, and at worst dehumanized as a useless, dangerous criminal, incels or misogynists or something. It is not deemed acceptable in society for a man to complain about issues he's personally going through. The only acceptable response from a man in society is that of stoicism, to respond to women (and the odd man) about how their arm has been cut off and maybe they should open up with their feelings about it, is to say "i'm fine, tis but a scratch".

This is actually one of the gender roles that i don't think most women appreciate just how good they've got it in this area. Unless it's to your partner or something after sufficiently demonstrating your ability to handle things without complaint, then you're in a constant state of being lied to that you should open up with your feelings, which is little more than a test used to weed out the weak. Other than the odd woman that's treated as a man in society, i really think most women don't have the slightest clue how that feels.

Why are men like 3/4s of suicides, when women have far more "attempted suicides"? Because despite all that is said in all of this mental health suicide prevention propaganda, the fact is in practice society doesn't care about those men that can't take care of themselves. Women biologically have more options before they reach their breaking point.

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

Noone will know that you are weak when you tell noone that you seek treatment although nobody will call you weak for having mental illness. Who tf does this except the person is elementary child. So go to doctors instead of wasting your time on crying why the society hate you for having illnesses aka for being weak.
I am middleeastern and so we have patriarchial culture but i dont see any man getting called weak for having illness. HOWEVER, there are stupid people who think mental illness is caused due to damons. So they go hodjas instead of going to doctors.

What I also hate about men is that they dont care about their health in my experience. My dad, ex, male cousins etc dont give a f about their health even though my mum had argument with my dad because of this. Women tend to go doctors since they care about themself and their kids. We tried everything to make my dad to go to doctors but he still does not do it even though health care is "free". Sorry for sounding so angry but these topics remind me on certain people who I love but these people dont care about their health which is selfish

Anonymous · Answer

Because men are disposable.

You keep getting told this and you are either aren't not listening or you simply dont understand what that means.

Men have problems which have no solutions and they understand that.

So yes, some of them drink themselves into an early grave and some get it over and done with faster.

The problem you just dont want to look at is that there is no fairytale ending to this, no amount of conciousness raising or telling men its ok to cry will change any of this because it does alter the simple fact that if you are broke or ugly or short or perhaps stupid or the wrong type of asshole you are going to be alone your whole life and you are never going to be able to forfil any of your dreams, you can't even decide to just be a father, which is what a lot of women do, any woman can get knocked up not even tell the father and have the state support them and validate themselves in the eyes of society and give some kind of meaning to their lives.

For some problems that men have it is not a matter of just whining about it won't help, it is that working your ass off your whole life and constantly improving yourself will not help because you were either doomed from the very beginning or you otherwise permenantly fucked yourself at some point and now there is simply no coming back from it.

ODC2112 · Answer

The male is stigmatized for anything that doesn't make him perfect and perfectly reliable. This happens both in the world of work and in the world of interpersonal relationships. If a male asks for help and this help is public, his social welfare collapses. Because he loses credibility.

Secondly, the male does not ask for help because even if he does he is not believed or helped. The rhetoric of the man who is always the executioner pushes to show the fact that he is always and in any case to blame for everything that happens to him. Whatever happens to him is his sole responsibility. This usually increases the problems.

Tertiary to what ex-psychologist colleagues tell me, the male change processes tend to be more painful than the female ones because the man tends to repress his emotional part. Therefore even if he asks for help and this help is given, it is much more difficult for it to work. Many males do not trust psychologists, psychiatrists or the like and consider them crooks or scammers.

Anonymous · Answer

The main reason is that mental health experts and most people in general are completely clueless. Absolutely fucking clueless.

Why are they depressed?

There are reasons other than “men are told not to show emotions”.

Let’s say a man wants to cry, but he’s been told not to show his emotions. He’s not depressed because he’s not allowed to cry, because something else is making him want to cry in the first place.

Crying is also most likely not going to solve whatever it is that’s bothering him, nor is venting to a therapist. You just spoke about your problem to someone and had a cry, brilliant - problems is still unsolved. A woman might feel better for venting, a man will not.

Same thing with meds, it’s like putting a band-aid over a gaping wound.

We live in a feminised culture, and because it’s feminised every problem is viewed through a female lens.

Firstly he’s expected to deal with his problems the same way a woman would, which doesn’t work because he’s not a woman and we’re not the same.

Secondly his problems are probably not “female correct”. People are all very concerned about men’s issues when it comes to men crying and being open emotionally, but the moment they do about things which women don’t care about they’re told to stop whining by the same exact kinds of people and nobody gives a shit.

Suicide comes from a feeling of hopelessness. They feel hopeless because the solutions they’re offered are simply no good, and that’s why they don’t seek it out in the first place.

Diodoro · Answer

Aside from the obvious that he's mentally ill lol

Weakness is punished in boys from a young age and we faced a multifaceted negative reinforced against it early.

It actually takes a lot for a guy to breakdown and ask for help when he needs it on average without being given permission in a safe place from people who are invested in his success, without fear of negative repercussions.

A guy usually has to deal with a lot of suffering before he's willing to get help. Some guys are more self aware and address it sooner because they sense how bad it could get early on. But without that a guy is more likely to try and deal with it himself first because he's a man.

OlderThanILook · Answer

Nobody gives a fuck about men except for their families. And even then, their families might not even care. I don't expect anyone to proactively ask if I'm okay or if I need help with anything, but I've noticed that I can quite literally say I'm going to kill myself for a month straight and nobody will care. Of course I can explicitly ask for help with depression and suicidal thoughts, but I just seems forceful and unwanted when I have to literally go to a hotline, schedule therapy, pay money, and then disappoint everyone when my depression doesn't go away with medication. I'd rather just suffer than suffer and annoy other people because I'm shoving problems on them that they don't want to hear about.

SeekerOfBooty · Answer

Except women attempt suicide at much higher rates than men, difference is that men use much more lethal methods so fewer of them survive suicide attempts.

"Suicide statistics reveal that women are roughly three times more likely to attempt suicide, though men are two to four times more likely to die by suicide.2
Compared to men, women show higher rates of suicidal thinking, non-fatal suicidal behavior, and suicide attempts.3 "

https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-017-1398-8
https://www.verywellmind.com/gender-differences-in-suicide-methods-1067508

Knowing the actual facts, this whole narrative falls apart yet again.

Dragonpurple · Answer

I do not know why most men don't but I can tell you why I never did. After my divorce I was very depressed but had to pay a large amount in child support, which I could not even afford. There was no way I could go pay for a therapist as everyone looks at gross income and I had more than half my gross income taken out between taxes and child support and legal fees.

When you are living off 40% of your gross income it may look like your making a lot on paper but in reality housing costs was 30% of that, not enough to go get help. I did try a few times, got a few free sessions covered by my health insurance but after that they would not cover and trying to get income based help did not work as that also went off gross income.

ZackBan · Answer

Because men still lose when they do.
The second a man starts acknowledging a mental illness he's basically admitting to being weak and women do not accommodate weak men in their lives to this day
So that man will doom himself to be seen as an undesirable beta male which is arguably as bad as committing suicide in certain cases as that man will have to be walked over by everyone in his life.

So yeah men don't seek this kind of help because they can't. We can talk all day about how it "should" be that one change the fact that a man who doesn't "suck it up" will lose at life.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Society doesn’t take our mental health seriously. My friend suffered from bad depression and swallowed a bottle of pills while drunk when he was picked up they just have him a bottle of pills and sent him on his way. He’s shot himself in the face not even a month later. Sad fact is a lot of us feel like we don’t matter just expendable bodies. I’ve known quite a few who feel/felt that way.

were also told/raised to not show weakness something society enforces.

we’re also stubborn when it comes to seeking or accepting help.

Levin · Answer

A man's esteem is built on his success. On his ability to handle life, provide, endure, etc.

A woman's self image is not defined in such terms, at least, immediately, that is not what is associated with female energy. Which is more archetypally associated with passivity and beauty.

Plus, there is not sympathy nor compassion for men in general. If a man would seek support, there would be little sympathy. Look at the difference in responses to male vulnerability or female vulnerability on this website. A man would be told to man up, work on their life; where a woman would have total acceptance and 100s coming to rescue her.

I would argue men can be seen in a negative light in general. For example, people are always suspicious around men, their intention, around children, etc.

AlexItsJustAlex · Answer

The problem usually starts at a young age for most of us, we're told by older family and friends when anything that hurts us happens to "suck it up" or "man up", or things along the line of that so we start to put up walls and not show our emotions seeing as that's what we're told to do. It's a hard habit to break when it's such a common thing, fortunately as social media and apps like this breakthrough and spread awareness we're more likely to break the cycle with newer generations. I can't deny the fact that I have walls up but I will say that I do my best to take them down when something truly bothers me and I hope more people do because taking care of your mental health doesn't make you any less manly.

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