My ideal body would be much skinner but I've never achieved the body I've wanted before. I think I'm unattractive in general and my body is a part of that.
I bet your dream body is being the most attractive version of yourself. You even wrote "I think I'm unattractive in general and my body is a part of that."
The most attractive body is the healthy and fertile one. Not overweight, but not masculine either. And besides those two, the majority doesn't talk much about and most men find a wide range of bodies "screwable", but it's important for many other reasons to be in shape and not SKINNY FAT. And I sense that THAT is what you're trying to get rid of.
For mental clarity, disease prevention, you have to get rid of toxins in your body. Most people store a hell of a lot of toxins as their fatty tissue, hence the odd looking fat distribution. Even gym goers.
So please don't think simply of "skinnier, fatter, more muslce" and please don't think in terms of "calories in calories out" because many things such as toxic chemicals are more important.
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I was a fat kid and started working out in 9th grade. I did lose weight and I did get stronger and built up my endurance. I never really got my dream body. I still had love handles and even though i worked my abs a lot I never was able to get a 6 pack. In my 20s I was benching 300 pounds and run a full marathon in a little over 3 hours.
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It’s not hard to drop 15 lbs. It is hard to drop another 10 in those specific areas you would want to shape. Height, Weight, Exercise or general Activity level, general eating habits?
Having a fit body is the least important benefit that comes from eating clean, and other equally important health habits.
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