How do I prevent someone from dying of the black plague?

[Anonymous]

My dear sister Lady Agatha Beatrix Lytelfinger the III of Cornwall hath been affected by thy wicked plague and she lay in her chamber as her time slowly ticks to death. Hath we try and bloodlet her sickness away, it only made her body weaker. Because of being bedridden, she hath been sinful of sloth and we will be inviting thy Catholic Priest over tomorrow to perform an exorcism on her. To assure ourselves that she will not succumb to thy seocnes within the passing of these hours, we will need an efficient practice on her to cure her from thy flu so she will not die. Sha'll we try trepanning?

This is my beautiful sister as we speaketh.

[msc545]

Change the switch on the time machine so it goes forward about 400 years, and discard all your clothing before traveling. Get some Clavamox when you get here.

[Asker]

Only 400 years? But lad, this is 1348! How does thee only speaketh of 400 years when in your time, t'was it 675 years ago!

[msc545]

right - make it a bit longer then. Be sure to change the batteries in the Time machine before going forward.

[Anonymous]

just pop her zits squeeze the puss out or remove her puss filled zit sacs from under her skin and she'll be fine

[Asker]

Excellent idea! Need we medicate it with the holy feces?

[Opinion Owner]

no that won't be neccessary just the holy water and holy piss should work and say a couple of holy fucks while you're at it just to be on the safe side