Can someone help me make sense of this?

[Anonymous]

People often claim there is help out there when you are struggling, but I've seen psychologists and psychiatrists who provided absolutely no help at all other than to push me to want to end things, and I had to deal with them lying. More recently, I had a counsellor tell me she couldn't really help me because she doesn't know anything about postnatal depression, and I'm sitting there thinking, Why did you book an appointment for me when it was written down in the referral that I have postnatal depression? I literally wasted my time even going there, and I had to drag my baby along because I had no one to watch her.

Just in the past few days, I decided to request to join a few support groups on Facebook. A couple of them denied my request because my account is less than 12 months old, and the group that did accept me into the group tried posting a question, but the admin declined it, saying you aren't allowed to post if your account is less than 3 months old. Admin also doesn't even allow you to comment on anything if your account is less than 3 months old. So it's like, why did you accept me into the group or anyone if nobody is allowed to post a question or even leave a comment that may be helpful to someone if you block us because our account is not 3 or 6 months older? These are groups that have in their titles support groups and discussions for anyone going through this, and that and yet they deny people the opportunity to join who need support, or they block them from even posting a question.

Help me make sense of why so many people believe there is help out there when, really, the help they believe and think is out there doesn't help at all. Help me to make sense of why these groups claim they are a supportive group but deny your request to join because your account isn't 12 months old or they block you from posting or commenting if your account isn't 3 months and older

Updates

7 mo

Update: admin made a welcome post for new members and I was able to comment on this post, and I asked for confirmation about the whole 3 months because I went and checked and there is nothing in the group rules or anywhere where it is written before requesting to join or even after you get accepted into the group that tells you you can't post or leave comments if your account is less than 3 months old! I wasn't rude or anything or even pushy just asked for confirmation. I woke up this morning

Updates

7 mo

To find I got kicked out of the group. I'm so confused because all I did was just explain that my post was declined and asked if I had to wait 3 months. So frustrating when you actually need help and you want the help especially to get better for your baby and you find there truly is absolutely no help at all

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

One or two facebook groups is not the entirety of the internet, those warnings and restrictions are put in place probably to prevent people from announcing their suicide attempts or something. The world is not against you, and you never find the perfect therapist or psychologist on the first appointment, the first appointment is an interview process to see if you’re a good fit for each other. I know the work seems uncomfortable and like it’s going on too long, especially when all you want to do is sleep until the world ends, but unfortunately this is part of the process. To simplify therapist searches, they should be able to list their specialties on their websites or through whatever search engine you’re finding them through, presuming you’re paying with your insurance. And try places other than facebook for community, like discord or reddit or something.

[Asker]

I get that but my post wasn't about suicide it was actually about a housing situation for me and my 6 month old daughter. I'm not feeling suicide just needing help and I got kicked out of the group all because there is nothing in the group rules about your account having to be 3 months old before you can post or comment and when I asked for confirmation I got kicked from the group.

I've been trying so many times over 10 years to get help and I have gone to different places gotten many referrals and it's all been the same to me. I even reached out asking for help for my daughter as I was struggling and I got a referral to request to stay in the mother and baby unit but my request was denied apparently having postnatal depression and having thoughts at the time of leaving your baby and really struggling to take care of her wasn't seen in their eyes as me needing help

Honestly I have seen like 15 psychologist and 3 psychiatrist over a 13 year period and I was even admitted to the mental hospital 3 times and still never received the help I needed. I even booked an appointment to see my doctor to see if I could get another referral and I've had my appointment to see him cancelled twice

I feel lost

[Asker]

I haven't just gone through Facebook for help. I've gone to actual doctors for help. I was struggling while I was pregnant and the doctors just kept putting down to pregnancy hormones. Hours before I got my discharge papers after giving birth I was there crying because I needed help and they still sent me home

I turned to Facebook because in the real world I'm not getting help so I thought maybe the Facebook groups there may be people there who have gone through something similar

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I’d go to reddit before facebook if you want actual solutions. How many medications have you been on? Do you drink alcohol?

[StarWarGirl]

No there is No help out there but there is help inside you.

No matter what is problem what kind of problems you have. Till you yourself start to find your ways your own till you yourself start to helping yourself you can't be helped. Stop believing in bullshit that there is help out there. But you are your own help.

There are many such examples. Many people abled to do impossible when they started helping themselves after believing on themselves, with whatever means they had that time. Help came later.

If you would start helping yourself either you would reach a level when you would attract help or you yourself would know a way to deal with your problem and you would solve it your own.

[Asker]

Firstly I have trauma and I am also a ftm. I have zero help helping me to care for my baby. Please also don't say or think I am not trying to help myself because I am but at the same time I also need the help of someone else

[Anonymous]

The only thing that can help you is more understanding. Only if someone can offer you that will you be helped.

I'm not qualified. I'm just some internet person. But go do things that help.
Like the gym. Try focusing only on positivity. Try being more self discipline so you don't create stress that doesn't have to exist. Try acting positive whether you feel it or not. Get out the house more. See nature. Go to wholesome events. Don't be a victim mentally. It releases stress chemicals.

[Asker]

I'm not able to go to the gym or really do anything for myself because I'm a ftm mum and I have no one to help look after my baby it's just me doing it completely on my own and baby is going through a faze where I can't put her down without her blood curling screaming crying.
I do get out and about but honestly the moment I do I am having to rush around to find somewhere to heat my baby's bottle up because she will only have her bottle warm even on really hot days. I wasn't able to breastfeed because I wasn't getting enough breastmilk to feed her

I do honestly try and focus on the positive but at the same time it's very hard because I am surrounded by negativity and I also have trauma and that trauma has caused me to have triggers where I find myself snapping and getting frustrated.

[provokeesmokee]

Help definitely exists but you need to do your research and due diligence.

When I was looking for Psychologists, I started with the registry for the regulatory body of psychologists in my province. Then, I called up about a dozen of them for free consults on the phone and basically interviewed them. My first choice wasn't able to take me on, but she referred me to the therapist I've been with now for 8 years.

Start with the regulatory body, remember that they're still businesses who seek new clients for money, and keep trying.

Emergency crisis lines can be a good backup.

[Asker]

I've been dealing with all this for well over 10 years and I have gone to different places and reached out numours time and i have Gotten many referrals as well and it's all been the same.

Now I woke up this morning to find admin kicked me out of the group just for asking for confirmation about the 3 month rule as there is not one word mentioned about this prior to requesting to join or even after you request to join