Did anyone feel likethis b4?

[Leemary]

The weight I've gained took away my confidence and my original personality

[Lliam]

I went through something in my late 20s.

I was handed a job as a motor vehicle damage field adjuster/appraiser trainee for an auto insurance company when I was 26.

Before that, I had been a lead guitarist and vocalist. I had long, rock star hair and lived the party lifestyle. I was also constantly active, surfing, snow skiing, backpacking, and playing sports all the time with my friends. And I had a girlfriend.

I had to cut my hair and wear a suit when I got the job. As a result, I no longer recognized myself in the mirror. I didn't fit in with the people I used to fit in with and I felt like an imposter in a suit.

The job turned out to be very challenging. It also took up all my time and I became sedentary. About a year into it, I started getting taken to lunch every day at really nice restaurants. For the first time in my life, I discovered the joy of food.

So, from about age 28, I began slowly gaining weight and eventually put on 60 lbs.

I broke up with my girlfriend when I was 29 or 30.

I stopped pursuing girls because I hated myself and didn't want the kind of woman who would want me. To ease my unhappiness, I smoked a lot of weed and masturbated.

The job salary was great and the benefits were amazing, so I hung in there and eventually got very good at it.

When I was 34, the company offered to pay for Weight Watchers for anyone, so I signed up. Along with their diet plan, I started walking/jogging and working out every day. I bought some exercise equipment for my condo and also used the exercise machines in the condo's gym. And I did lots of aerobic and isometric exercises at home.

It took 6 months to lose the weight I had gained and get back in really good shape.

By then, I was used to my adult persona (as opposed to my long-haired, immature, party animal persona). I met a gorgeous woman and got into a relationship. I felt wonderful about myself again.

For at least the next 25 years I was at my peak. They were the best years of my life, even though I had had a blast up until I was 26.

After living with that one woman for almost a year, the relationship failed.
I immediately met another gorgeous woman who turned out to be the most amazing girlfriend I ever had. She was 30 and I was 36. We lived together for almost two years. She was the first women I ever loved with my entire heart and soul. And she loved me. But, as it turned out, we were not destined to be life-long partners, so we separated even though we still loved each other.
That almost killed me. I have never experienced such pain.

At that point, I dove into studying how to improve myself mentally and emotionally.

I met my future wife when I was 40. She was 37. She fell in love with me. I soon knew that she was the one. We got married two years later and have been happily married now for 28 years.

When we moved to the rural area where we live now, we didn't know anybody. I was 48 years old. But we got involved in things in the nearby town, became known, and made a lot of really good friends.

We became very active in the nondenominational Unitarian Universalist congregation. I became the Board President of a local, environmental nonprofit and got used to addressing large audiences from a stage. I had never done that before and it was terrifying at first. I started playing music again, formed a band and started playing a few gigs.
For the first time in my life, I became a respected member of a local community.

So don't give up on yourself. You still have a lot of life ahead of you.

[Sonorous]

Yeah. I notice my social anxiety is better now that I'm in shape & lean. Whether it be social or physical, not wanting to be a target is I'd say a huge reason for why I keep in shape & lean. I recommend doing the same but especially for the health benefits.

[Billlewis]

Please don't feel any less attractive or desirable as a result of your increased poundage. I can almost guarantee you that you're twice as sexy at your current weight than ever before.

[bowenw]

Yes. A negative self image can seriously mess with our minds.

[Ironic_Method]

I imagine most who gain weight do. Whenever I see myself gaining a few pounds I eat better and exercise more until I'm happy.

[woahhh152]

That's how it is when you gain weight