What is the reason you find it hard to let go of pain and anger?

[thegreenyogi]

[Lynx122]

I think it's hard for everyone but I'm pretty used to it now. I think I've managed it very well in most areas of my life. The main place where I'm still having difficulty is with my dad. He is very clueless and neglectful. I basically have to keep my expectations at 0 at all times or he'll just let me down as soon as I feel like ok I can lean on him a little it collapses. And this is just not the kind of relationship I want to have. I have so many good people that when I get to know them and we have a friendship or now a romantic relationship they understand how we treat each other and it's not something I have to teach them, and then they still don't really get it. This is why it's so hard for me and why I had to cut off contact with my dad again. He is trying a bit more now for the past 18 months to 2 years and I was like hopeful but when I got into my relationship and was loved and accepted the contrast between that and how I have to like contort myself to have a relationship with my dad was just so huge. I can't just be myself and relax with my dad. And because he's not really capable of changing that much I can't heal while he's still around. So now I took some distance so hopefully it will help. I do feel better, I'm relaxed I can focus this energy on other things. Long term honestly I don't know what will happen. Do I have to stay away for ever to have my peace or is there still some path forward? I have no clue but for now I think this is the right choice.

[Zack-Bann]

Habits.


Sometimes I think I’ve made headway and the demons find a way to creep back in at the worst possible hour.


I got better at hiding it but the mask is slippery

[7Phoenix7]

I think sometimes it’s because the hurt runs deeper than we want to admit…. Especially when it comes from someone we genuinely cared about. It’s hard to just let go of something that affected you emotionally especially when you never got the understanding or closure you needed…

And then I also think anger can sometimes be easier to hold onto than sadness… But I’ve learned that holding onto pain only ends up hurting us more, and letting go doesn’t mean what happened was okay.. It just means we deserve some peacr

[sage2021]

Now that I am older, it's not that hard to let go of it.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[thegreenyogi]

Welcome!

[Anonymous]

It depends what you mean by that.

Jesus says you need to forgive so that God can forgive you. There are a lot of wrongs in life you simply cannot make right. Now you can just to let that pain and anger rule you, or you can choose to forgive them and let it go. Well what if those people are still a part of your life? Well now you need to decide what those people truly mean to you. Because loving someone is pain. I don't care who a person is. People you love WILL hurt you. You just have to decide who is worth bleeding for. The rest you can cut from your life if people bring more pain than joy to your life, why would you allow them that power over you?

[Nikki1989]

For some people pain becomes connected to their identity. Of course it doesn't have to be that way.

[RavVid]

I just put adverse reaction aside as quickly as I can by not thinking about and then ponder it in a day or two.

[ElenaLena]

I have never harbored pain or anger.. I am not that kind of person…

[Rei13]

It is generally because it either hit me deeply, is unresolved, or a combination of both

[lilBigPotato]

I can't stop thinking about things or people that matter a lot to me.

[Stormy_Moon]

because its the only thing keeping me going. . .

[Agape93]

I dont have the psychological mechanism that let me let it go or modulate it for long.

[Shiprex]

It's a feeling and otherwise you feel nothing and that's worse

[Staximus]

Because you can’t just say or think “I’m going to let go of all my pain and anger” and magically make it happen

[AgentG111]

Because it is what defines us and keeps us safe and keeps good and bad memories and keeps us from making more mistakes in the future

[msc545]

I may have uncontrollable recurrent thoughts of the incident that caused the pain or the anger.

[xawyx-3]

Mostly because of injustice in my country.

[Sexiestjohnson]

I have never had a problem with anger or pain.

[Paige2006]

Not enough time has passed

[Cidknee]

I don't.