Would you let your wife do most of the domestic tasks, childcare, and mental load? It may be convenient for you but bad for her mental health?

[Phantomshadow77]

Most studies show women take on 70%+ of cognitive labor and most of the domestic labor and childcare even when they’re the primary breadwinners. Women get significantly less leisure time and the quality of that leisure is low and far from restful since she has to spend it taking care of everything or constantly getting interrupted. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Fie, fie! Unknit that threat’ning unkind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty,
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe,
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience—
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway
When they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband’s foot;
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready, may it do him ease.

[Phantomshadow77]

I don’t know which religion this is from, but this is extremely problematic. It’s teaching people that a woman’s only purpose is to serve a man. Under this worldview, you’re giving up your needs, boundaries, happiness, health, and wellbeing. You’re so much more than an appliance for a man. You’re an actual person with autonomy and who deserves to be treated with respect, dignity, and freedom. Please reconsider this religion.

[Opinion Owner]

Shakespeare...

[QuineJessica]

I can say with certainty that I will not become a housewife, household chores are not my thing (maybe except for baking cookies). So my future husband should take this into account that all responsibilities should be divided at least equally and simplified (for example, buy a robot vacuum cleaner).

[BarryLiverstone]

Think when I get married we would work it out. I know my parents agreed that my dad was responsible for outside the house (yard, cars, repairs..) and mom for inside (cooking, cleaning, laundry). Dad was our coach and drove and lead in church. Mom kept social calendar and she encouraged us in creative outlets. But each is the others #1 person and they love each other.


So it’s never about 50/50 and I’m sure when i get married will have arguments and conversations with my wife as we learn to live together. But I’d much rather do it together than all that on my own.




Does that make sense?

[Phantomshadow77]

I understand that sometimes one person might do more because the other person goes to work more or their job is more tiring but the stuff your dad takes care of are episodic tasks that aren’t done more than once a week but the stuff you’re mom does is everyday. If you get a partner, please make sure you listen to her needs and take her frustrations seriously rather than dismissing them because they didn’t sound logical to you. The only way that works is the way that works equally for both of you, not something the works for one person and the other tolerates it because they know their needs won’t be met anyway.

[BarryLiverstone]

The irony is my mom was the one to suggest these guidelines. And obv when I’m married I’ll listen to my wife everyday as she’s the most important person in my life. But dad also did things every day, not just once a week.

[BarryLiverstone]

Dismissing her needs? I’m lost where that was mentioned

[Phantomshadow77]

I was just saying in general don’t dismiss her. It’s common for men to dismiss their wives’s needs as nagging or asking too much and I was saying that even if it doesn’t seem logical to you, respect her boundaries and take her needs and frustrations seriously. Needs are an emotional thing so they have to be solved with emotional solutions.

[BarryLiverstone]

lol as a teenager I remember the logical vs emotional perceived view of fairness. Thankfully I’ve had experience in relationships and good example of how couples compromise and work together. If anything I’ll be a devoted husband and my will be well cherished and loved.

[BarryLiverstone]

I actually welcome nagging. Holding me accountable and reminders of former promises are beneficial. I plan on doing the same with her as nagging goes born ways. And expect her to keep her word as well.

But ya, regarding emotional support that’s needed daily and requires consistent energy and grace

[Phantomshadow77]

You are a very small minority of men. Most men prioritize their selfish desires over their wife’s wellbeing.

[BarryLiverstone]

Guess so? Like I said a marriage is a team. If I was that selfish it’s like I’m cutting off one arm to preserve the other arm. And life is better with both arms lol

[InknKink]

I think people worry to much about what they believe is normal, what others relationships look like, or what the believe will be expected of them. Too many people live their lives looking out.

Live your life by what feels right and rewarding for you and let others do the same.

[AI Opinion]

Balancing domestic tasks and childcare is crucial for a healthy relationship. Sharing responsibilities ensures both partners have time to relax and pursue their passions. In my experience, communicating and dividing tasks fairly helps prevent burnout and allows everyone to enjoy their leisure time without guilt. Gaming is a fun way to bond during leisure, but remember to prioritize mental well-being and equal partnership. Embracing shared responsibilities strengthens your relationship and supports each other's happiness. 🎮💕

[RavVid]

It reflects the median woman divorces at 8 years with 1.8 kiddies under her belt.

If the divorced husband get his kids for the weekend, then it works out she gets 71% of the load because she chose divorce.

You reap what you sow is the short answer.

[OneViewpoint]

Absolutely. Fucking not. It's a partnership. Shit needs doing? I'm on it. I can't sit there and watch another person work. Let alone my life partner. I don't care if I do more or she does more. If my hands are free, I'm jumping in.

[jahaims]

Marry a better person. Bad partner = marriage. Im a stay at home dad now. It is easier than working by a long shot. I also took over while I was working as soon as I got home as my wife had bad postpartum depression. Not sleeping can be a lot but other than that it's not bad. Taking care of kids/a household is way more easy than any job I've had.

[strateguy632]

The mental burden is the added thing that isn't natural: being the money earner. Without that no problem! Taking care of her family would bring her joy. Playing with her child is leisure.

[slatyb]

When I was working for wages and she was not, she did take care of most household chores. I didn't expect this. I told her she was free to do what she wanted. If there was a job that she would enjoy, she could take it regardless of the pay.

[BonzoInBitburg]

My wife does 100% of domestic tasks and I make 100% of our household income. It works for us.

[seeyounexttuesday]

They're choosing to work outside the home.