Ladies, would you be okay with being the primary breadwinner if your partner would lean more into taking care of the home and children?

[MzAsh]

Ladies, are you okay with being the primary breadwinner if you knew your partner would lean more into taking care of the home and children?

I was inspired by Mel Robbins on her story of how her marriage was saved by leaning more into a leadership role and her husband as her support at home. It seems to be working for them well.

Even though the idea of more reversed gender roles is still not the norm, I suspect many high achieving women still worry about having to do it all, meaning they'd be making the money and still coming home and having to cook, clean, and take care of the children's needs.

That is definitely a scary thought, but what if the stuff at home was already taken care of and she could relax and be at peace when the work day is done? Would women be more confident being the primary breadwinner if that were the case? Let me know what you think!

[hIopinionated_]

He would definitely have to do more than lean more into taking care of children and the home, he would have to do everything needed to care for the children (and home) while I am away. I wouldn’t treat him as a maid though but I would expect a break sometimes. Break as in, I just got off work and maybe the children are in need of a bedtime story, of course I wouldn’t put that on him every single day but occasionally if I’m too tired, he should WANT to pick up the duty.


Regarding many other issues in our society, I also wouldn’t treat him as most men treat their working gfs/wives. They contribute half the finances (or more or less) yet are expected to cook and clean because apparently those are female traits🙄. It’s supposed to be a partnership. Where I am lacking, I expect a good partner to pick it up and vice versa. Everything should feel effortless and unburdened. I should enjoy taking care of my family and coming home to little or no major issues


Family time is a must: dinner at the table, bedtime stories, movie nights, cuddles, travel/trips, fun, walks in parks, school drop offs, etc. I wouldn’t be cocky and or ungrateful. I wouldn’t abandon my family emotionally just because I would be the breadwinner. Everyone contributes in some way. All I except is the bare minimum from my partner (and not just because I am breadwinner but in any relationship): communication, mutual respect, loyalty, faithfulness, love, kindness, attentiveness, cuddles, etc.

[SaltyBeaches]

I know there are some women who would be ok with that, but it's not for me.

When I walk into a home for the first time I can always tell when a woman cares about that home and is willing to do the countless little things it takes to make a house a home. It looks better and feels better. The standard for every little detail is higher, and it shows to anyone who cares about those things. There are few men in this world who can (or care to) do that to the same standard, and a man who would is not the type I would want to be married to, if you know what I mean. If we were just taking about doing the dishes, the laundry, the vacuuming and the grocery shopping, that might be different. But there is so much more to making and maintaining a nice home than those things.

It should be just as socially acceptable for a man to be a homemaker as it is for a woman so those few who actually want to and can actually make it work for them can do so without criticism or guilt. But ultimately you have to do what is right for you, and while a stay at home husband is a lovely concept, in practice it's generally not practical or desirable for most couples.

[Pudsmucker]

There have always been lean years in our society. My gracious wife carried us through some of those lean years and I help take care of our children at home. Years later I know of a person that teaches at the deaf School in our community. Her husband does the same he has some proper skills but he chose us to stay home to take care of their precious little ones. To me it doesn't matter as long as you're making it living to support your household.

In today's society they would rather hire a woman to do work. And they pay them a equal wage wage.

I have always believed in an equal rights with equal pay. That's how I've been taught and that's how it should be. A person isn't judged because of their gender.

[Avicenna]

that's really the only set of circumstances that I've seen any woman being OK with that. I once had a colleague who had this setup- her husband couldn't speak much German so they had to do it like that anyway, but she said that she actually preferred it because she didn't like doing things around the house and wanted to focus on her career.

That said, the vast majority of high-earning women do not want a househusband- they'd rather have a guy who earns a lot and then hire a nanny and a maid.

[Apple1996]

Nope that is against nature. Moms know how to care for their babies better cuz the brains change during pregnancy just for that. Also I would never want to give up breastfeeding or do the pump at work nonsense. I'm much happier in my natural role staying home and being able to care for my babies while my husband works.

[Pinay_ako]

I don’t mind. As long as when I get home, the house is clean, food is cooking, kids are not sitting on their nasty diapers or snotty faced, the dog is walked, the house is not on fire 🤣. I just want to come home after a long ass day of hustle.

[Haha456]

It also has to do with brainwashing. Little girls being who are raised since infancy to see men as breadwinners, will find it very difficult to change this type of mindset when they become grown women. I honestly do not believe women can't be happy with a man who isn't the breadwinner. It all has to do with brainwashing since a young age. why do women give up their jobs rather than men after having kids? it all points back to the very same reason: it's because girls are brainwashed to believe that parenthood is solely a woman's responsibility.

[Haha456]

Because the reality is, if there is genuine true love in a marriage where she would do anything to be with her man, the last thing she would care about is who is bringing home more money. All she cares about is spending the rest of her life with him.

[RiseofArtemis]

So you mean we are not supposed to completely throw down traditional roles. You just want switch the side on it. Men are not supposed to be stay at home and take care of the children. We can't breastfeed a baby.

[MzAsh]

That’s what breast pumps are for.

[suryanshiagrawal]

Okay I would be outright honest, I feel that both males and females should not let their potential go wasted, taking care of kids at home isn't easy but an individual gotta understand his individuality to know and explore more about himself through engaging or dabbling in the domain he feels best suited to!

[77five]

I only read you title and yes. Thats the only way Id be ok with having kids. But he’d need to work again when they were all in school.

[Raphaëlle]

Yes, I would. As long as we're both happy and both contributes to the family. I would still like for both of us to have a stable income to support the family future.

[rosemilk]

no. both of us need to make money, a career, and a stable job. grandparents to watch kids during day.

[ShellyB]

This would not be my personal preference but everybody is different!

[LazerBean]

I would rather not, but if it was necessary then I would mind it.

[xInquisitivex]

You make this sound like it already doesn't happen!

I have been the house husband for the last 7 years and it works for both of us.

Don't just assume this is a new thing. Almost a sexist remark/comment!!!

[Lookingforthetruth]

I never understood this stereotype that meant don't contribute equally to house work.

[BLP11520]

I saw a movie where I guy was a househusband his wife went to work. He was banging the housewives in the neighborhood

[MzAsh]

What movie was that?

[BLP11520]

It was about 20 years ago... can't remember. He eventually got caught

[TacosRAwesome]

It's not for me. The idea of a man being a househusband basically turns me off.

[whistlingwh0res]

I see a lot of smart girls who can provide. Why not? I would do it but I have no job

[Agape93]

Long as they're contributing enough, sure.

[Bethany22]

Yes, that sounds like a fantastic idea!

[AsaKyo]

No, I wouldn't

[grierwrange]

No I would not

[melanieeeB]

Sure