Sex before marriage? Yay or Nay?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

The idea of refraining from sex until after marriage is like using sex as a bargaining chip. "Sign a legally binding contract with me and then I'll 'let' you have sex with me."

Religious grounds are the only reason I can imagine for doing that.

Waiting until marriage before having sex is self-deprivation. It's like refusing to try delicious food, or to experience the many joys that life has to offer. It shows a level of inhibition that would make a person unappealing, let alone unmarriagable.

We evolved to enjoy sex for a reason. The sensations of physical arousal some of the most transcendent, ecstatically pleasurable things we can experience. Memories of great sexual pleasure are some of the things we treasure. Who wants to die without being able to say that they had the greatest time while they lived?

I absolutely understand the idea of seeking a special relationship - wanting to be valued and cherished - before engaging in sex. That's healthy. But to expect your first sexual partner to turn out to be the perfect choice is naive. A legal contract doesn't guarantee happiness. The majority of people experience trial and error before finding the perfect relationship.

There is also the idea of sexual compatibility. A person who doesn't care about that either is asexual, has a low libido and doesn't care about sex at all or doesn't know anything about it because they have never explored their own sexuality and have no idea what to expect from the opposite gender. But I suppose there are people who only engage in sex in order to produce children.

I wonder how many of those who hold off on sex until after marriage have unrealistic, Disney-inspired fantasies (with full musical sound track) about a handsome, earnest, charming prince falling in love with a sweet, beautiful, innocent commoner, having a royal wedding, and living happily ever after. I'm sorry, but that's not how life works.

RealMarek · Accepted Answer

I waited until marriage, having been raised that it would protect me in many ways. There were some red flags in the relationship before the wedding, but all sorts of problems surfaced in a big way in the sexual relationship. This wasn’t about “sexual compatibility” in a physical pleasure sense, but sex empowering a toxic, manipulative person to go as far as being degrading. Looking back on it, I would like to think that sex before marriage would have made the problems that doomed the marriage surface so strongly I would have broken up before marriage, and that would have saved me lots of trouble.

I can respect people who wait until marriage. It takes a lot of discipline and if people know about it, guys in particular have to deal with a lot of belittling socially. Just keep in mind that we live in an unusually nomadic and unstable society. Families used to be mostly rural and knew each other for generations. It was a lot easier to judge compatibility, there were fewer crazy people, and everyone knew who the crazy ones were. If you wait to have sex until marriage, don’t ignore red flags. Read up on personality disorders and learn how to recognize those patterns of behavior.

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

No. A man won't loose anything by having sex a lot since there are a lot cuckified women who have no self respect who would accept promiscuos men or such men while women can't afford to waste her bodycount or virginity, youth, or time according to gag guys who talked qith me. So according to these specific gag guys women's worth decrease the older they get, higher their bodycount or loss of virginity and when she ain't childless etc. unlike men according to this logic. So a man can afford to get older, to waste his virginity, bodycount and youth by this logic again.
(I am just summarizing the opinions of some guys on gag. This is not really my opinion.)

Will any man give my youth, virginity, time back when he does not marry me? A man won't loose anything by having sex, wasting his youth and bodycount but i will loose so much by this logic again. I have seen many guys on gag who think women over their 30s are leftovers and are no worthy for love anymore. Imagine a guy dates you for 10 years and then leaves you and now you are leftovers since he wasted your life according to this logic again. I swear if this are all true and so women's worth depends on her youth, age, bodycount etc, too many women become femcels and murder their bfs for wasting their youth, virginity etc.
Again this is not really my opinion as i said and i am just summarizing the opinions of many gag guys and include my confusion and theories.
I personally wait till marriage

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

It's a bad start when you judge a person by their performance in bed instead of their mind. I don't see sex before marriage as something that will most likely be avoided, but at least give it a couple months before having sex to get to know each other without sex. Not only will you find out if they are into you for just sex or as a bona fide possible life partner. And when you do tie the knot your marriage will be more likely to last as you build up a soul bond instead of a unstable sex bond. After all, looks don't last forever but two minds on the same page will.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Little late for me to say nay at this point🤣 I think that's something each person or couple needs to decide that for themselves

CountessSarah · Answer

Sex before marriage is important. It's important to know you're sexually compatible.
People who are opposed to sex before marriage, usually do so out of a misplaced belief that doing so will lead to a more committed relationship. What ends up happening is that it just makes people get married sooner, then end up splitting later with the same rate as regular couples.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Nay because I'm not a disposable commodity. Most guys have premarital sex to check sexual compatibility and most women get dumped by the first guy they sleep with. This leads to both men and women having multiple sexual partners before they get married. This takes a heavy toll on a woman's mental health as men can easily dissociate sex from emotions.
Women are more emotional so it's more hurtful every time a guy leaves.
Premarital sex benefits men more than women.
If a woman has the self-control then she should avoid the unnecessary heartbreaks.
Never have sex with a man you're not married to.

katiesmuff · Answer

Gosh yes! No chance I would have ever considered a relationship let alone marry a guy until I knew how we meshed together while fucking. Although sex is only one part of a strong marriage it is an important part. Theologically it is the only dick that will ever be inside you or the only pussy your husband will ever taste again.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Personally, yay. More than yay - requirement.

I'm a sexual person. I have specific wants and kinks that I recognize not every lover is comfortable with.

It is important to me to find someone who is sexually compatible, and to vet that fit before marriage.

It would be quite impolite, I feel, to marry someone and then have to divorce them simply because I didn't verify before hand that they could fuck me silly when I want it.

Also, someone who saves themselves for marriage is 99% sure not to match my other values.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

i say before becoz i have too many men i have dated that sex was not great with them.

6 gfs from high school married men w/o having sex b4 marriage, and 5 of the 6 are divorced with kids primarily due to the man being bad in bed, and the man cheating on them with other women.

#6 got lucky and her man rocks her world in bed and out of it. They have 4 kids and she loves him so much.

so, premarital sex i feel is vital so you dont end up disappointed after marriage.

I know some peeps say if you don't have some one to compare to for sex, then the person you marry, should be find.. Problem is a lot of men, especially, lack experience and just don't understand a woman Needs a lot more in bed than the guy does.

sd1223 · Answer

I was at first going to wait until marriage but then I gave it up to my ex. He was and still is a really great guy so I have no regrets. He’s more experienced so that made having sex for the first time interesting and I enjoyed. I love having sex with him!

Qdbrown · Answer

Sex is fun. Yes, it's all fun and exciting, but regardless who you marry and sex up will get boring one day for most women. Maybe it will take a year, five or ten, but the same kinky ways of her man will often get predictable.

The more important thing is to find a girl that has not been ruined on pair bonding. Once sex is like shaking hands, and a long line has been through a woman, she no longer experiences sex at a deeper level. Oh, she will say she can fall in love and find the most magical guy, and claim that everything is special. However the proof is in the pudding, vastly more women seek divorce, and for stupid reasons like getting bored, ie, found another more exciting guy to leap to. Oh, they will claim bad husband, cheated, drank and did drugs, and lost his job, but the real reason will become evident after two months on splitsville.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

It's a nay for me. Even though it is a struggle it's part of the hurdle I believe I have to get over.

Jonny59 · Answer

okay so...
for me its not a big deal to wait EVEN if it sucks after marriage HEY! life is not just a sex, relationships in general is the most valuable thing to understand each other
to not be mad if things dont go as you want.
SEX can be improved but relationship value with the person once damaged the wound might not heal so it leaves scars and that ladies and gentlemen cause break up
sex is just pleasure just like you like to watch movies :)

Jlegacy · Answer

If sex was a journey, orgasm is not the destination. Neither is having kids. Sex is a journey within a journey which culminates in spiritual, intellectual, emotional and physical intimacy. One that is one with the author of life Himself. Orgasm is the first village you come across or the first island or just some road side attraction but it isn't the destination. Because a lot of people are drug addicts, they stop for the cheap thrill and miss out on the great adventure that is sex. When I say drug addict, I mean they are addicted to all the chemicals released during an orgasm. Like wanting to be high so you inhale gas. There are better ways darling.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I’ve not done it yet. Probably won’t do it until marriage. I know it’ll be extremely painful for me because I have a thick hymen.

Titanya · Answer

There's so much that goes into having sex with multiple partners...
And I have to be attracted to your mind and personality before I'm aroused so

In short, I'd like to have sex with someone I'm deeply in love with to ensure a phenomenal experience, and if I'm in love then why not be married before we are joined as one?

It's a fantasy I hope to fulfill.

I don't want to take the easy way out

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

Yay, two different sex drives / styles can make or break a marriage

Anonymous · Answer

I won’t necessarily hold myself all the way until marriage BUT pretty damn close. If they aren’t husband material, I won’t date them in the first place. (I’m friends with all they guys before I even look into dating them. If you have chemistry as friends, that’s when it turns out the best later on as boyfriend and girlfriend) Before we even date let alone have sex I need to know their view on marriage, kids, a pregnancy scare if we were to get pregnant before getting engaged at least, and more. And if they’re okay with that, and they really like me, there’s no reason they can’t wait a little longer. There’s also way more to a marriage AND a relationship then sex, so if the sex is bad, you figure out how to make it better rather than breaking up over it. (Unless they think it’s great and don’t comprehend how horrible it was for you. )

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Got to test drive the car to see how it works. Wish can do the same with buying a house. That being said... I am very selective where I put my money. As well as who I give my love to.

notserana · Answer

Yay, sexual chemistry is very important in my opinion.

Varanus · Answer

I don't believe in marriage before sex. You gotta know what you're signing up for!

hannahjo022 · Answer

Hate to say this but I need to have sex before marriage because I can't have sex who is bad and I don't feel any chemistry with. I have to be married to someone who I have good sex with, good sex chemistry, strong connection, have strong feelings for, and physical sexual attraction. Could have married my ex who I had all those, but it was a long term relationship since he is in the military and we broke up when he moved to Europe 2 years ago. Still miss him :(

InventorofWarp · Answer

I'm still a virgin and waiting but only for love and the right girl, not for marriage. I would absolutely 100% have sex before marriage and hope to, just with someone who cares about me and vice versa. Haven't known that yet.
Probably getting too old at this point. Women don't like men like me past 20 and I'm almost 25 so...
Still don't regret my choice. I'd rather remain pure for my non-existent woman than anything.

kc_4308 · Answer

No , celibacy here .. your body belongs to God and your husband only

Anonymous · Answer

I think within moderation, yes. But today some women run up large body counts and it makes them jaded. Guys way out of their league will use their hole time and time again so they think they can get those guys to commit, not true most of the time. The inflated self value then makes them jaded, then a large body count makes them undesirable and finally in their 30s they wake up to the fact that they are running out of time if they want a family. It’s pathetic really. I come from a different time, love my wife and love my family. My wife is a house wife and extremely happy as am I. Our kids are good people. None of my kids date much but they have good friends and seem happy. It just seems like they will grow old alone.

musicloverr8 · Answer

hard to say, dont want to sleep around but you better have sexual chemistry with the person you spend your life with.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I did it, we were each other's first and now after 13 years of marriage we still in love. There is a lot can happen before and after marriage, sex stimulation is good for both and in the future if you wait too long it can effect your lust. Ask people about it, i did ask many people and all of them had different responses and opinions

molonski2 · Answer

Would not even consider waiting for marriage , that is 1950s stuff , and it didn't even happen then , in reality noone waits for marriage in these times.

purplepoppy · Answer

Why do you think so many brides are late to the church?

karaspara · Answer

Yay unless you are religious in which case just so you know Jesus loves me too but I have sex

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes definitely.

There is a very real issue where people are not sexually compatible or one finds they don’t like sex, or it hurts.
Different sexual requirements.
mess these up and then wonder why a divorce is around the corner.

Lee_Chaeryoung · Answer

I'm saving myself for the person I'm going to marry because I want him to be the first.

Anonymous · Answer

I prefer to wait until marriage, but I also don’t care what others decide to do so don’t come for me lol.

I don't know why people are always trying to convince people otherwise. It’s your body, your choice.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Sure. But I wish I hadn’t lost my virginity quite so early (17). I should have waited at least a year or two longer.

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

Waiting to have sex before marriage is a waste of time. You should just make sure it’s with the right person, someone who loves and respect you.

douride2 · Answer

If I didn't believe in it I would still be a virgin at 44.

najekim · Answer

Hell yes. Waiting until marriage means nothing based on backward thinking religious dogma. Some American Indian tribes long ago didn't allow marriage until the girl/woman was pregnant. Before you marry we both to find out if you two are compatible, including the strange individual quirks and sex.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

I’ve had sex many many times and I don’t see myself getting married unless it’s with this one girl so I believe in sex before marriage I mean most people get married in their late 20s so I already knew from a young age that I wasn’t going to save myself and I haven’t

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Never plsnnimg on getting married. Sexual compatibility is judtvas important as emotional.

Anonymous · Answer

Marriage is overrated, in my opinion. It's just a piece of paper. If you're in a healthy relationship with someone, you don't need society's validation

the_kisses_of_sun · Answer

Of course yay. I mean, I've already had sex without ever being married but even when I was virgin I didn't have the mindset "sex after marriage".

Anonymous · Answer

I’m pro sex before marriage. Sexual compatibility is important for me, I don’t want to be stuck with someone with who there is any.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd say hell yes... it's important to know if you have sexual chemistry.. imagine marrying someone who is just awkward or like to beat you up... sole kinks need to be worked out before made permanent

Tyrael · Answer

Yes definitely. Sexual compatibility is very important and it could make or break a marriage. Why take the chance on it?

electromagnetic · Answer

Too late now. I regret nothing.

pjf1958 · Answer

When I was young, I needed to take it for a test drive. Now, with my fiance, I love her. It doesn't matter either way. As long as we"re permanently together.

SpiderManFan2002 · Answer

For me it’s a nay lol, for religious reasons. :)

hahahmm · Answer

Ideally: no. Reality is that most people do & it's much harder to find a good spouse than in the old days.

Lionman95 · Answer

Nay because sex oftentimes hinders couple from breaking up in good terms. We live in a world that is way too focused on sex. I

TurkishGirl_ · Answer

Nay. I personally prefer not to have sex before marriage.

IAMNathanael · Answer

It's a nay from me. That's my own personal decision.

Interstate · Answer

It always ends up leading to unwanted pregnancies and the child gets caught up in situations because of the Parents. Generally it is always drama!!

LeoElias · Answer

If a woman has mad sex she is undesirable. No guy will ever want a girl who has been with a lot of guys, its just nasty. Some women feel the same about guys too. But most women want a guy with experience.

RebeccaSJ · Answer

I am one who succumbed to it, and I enjoyed it quite much.

AustColombiangirl · Answer

Need to try before you buy

NightHawk99 · Answer

Fuck as much as you want. No law prohibits premarital sex. Religious nutjobs are full of shit.

Anonymous · Answer

In my opinion Life is too short to not have sex. Fuck that shit what if I never get married then it would be waste of time waiting then I would be a old horny lady 😂

Rachelspiks · Answer

I don't ever plan on getting married, so...

Anonymous · Answer

Personally couldn’t care less what other people do, it’s their lives and their choice. So all these people judging others are just embarrassments. However personally, not sure yet. I’m leaning towards after marriage but that’s not set in stone

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I'm not fussed. Before, after, even during works for me.

NathanDavis · Answer

well... that plane took off time ago, but I just never had this kind of mindset in place

bigmarty36 · Answer

There's very little connection between sex and love look at casual one night stands producing unwanted kids and single mothers got nothing to do with love just lust

Jakekk7634 · Answer

im single and im horny 24/7 when i get a boyfriend i won't be able to stay off his dik XD

Sex before marriage? Yay or Nay?

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