If you are married do you think that your spouse is obligated to have sex with you?

[Subarugirl]

[Finchie40]

Not obligated , but they should want to be intimate with their partner and communicate with their partner if they aren’t feeling satisfied , usually lack of sex in relationships is a sign that a relationship isn’t going so well and could bring unwanted fire into a relationship if the partner isn’t feeling loved and wanted and is feeling sexually deprived. Why so much cheating and affairs occur , Cuz the 1 partner decides they aren’t in the mood while the other is , Why it’s best to communicate and compromise with your partner as much as possible whether you are the one in the mood or you aren’t in the mood or vice versa , give them a valid reason as to why you don’t want sex with them , if you don’t have a valid reason and you keep saying you just aren’t in the mood. Then your partner will feel like you don’t value them and might think you are not into them anymore and maybe think you are cheating on them or planning to cheat on them , , so your decision to deny your partner sex is a selfish decision , you should wear your partner’s shoes and think how they are feeling being turned down from someone they married and want to be close with , sex in a relationship is important , Unless you both agree that it isn’t. But usually lack of sex in a relationship is a sign that things aren’t good, and opens doors to unwanted fire to enter into that relationship. So ask yourself what is really stopping you from being intimate with them? If you don’t have a valid reason then your relationship will probably not last because your partner will be open to meeting someone else that is in the mood and doesn’t treat him like a convenience, so if you love your partner then stop thinking of just yourself

[NorthShoreCalling]

I agree mostly, but denying it when things are off isn’t a selfish thing to do at all, sometimes there are valid reasons for it to maintain some sense of self dignity. Talking about feeling taken for granted, invalidated, verbally abused etc, whatever the reason may be is the way forward (if safe obviously), then if the person wants to rectify that you can both move on and work on please each other again. But if the person isn’t interested in meeting your needs in any way, why on Earth would you keep meeting theirs at your own expense? That part doesn’t make sense.

[loves2learn]

@northshorecalling you nailed it. 100%.

[NorthShoreCalling]

But yeah, if someone has been fair and the person is still withholding it as a form of control or whatever then that’s good reason to leave because yes that is very selfish too of course.

[NorthShoreCalling]

@loves2learn thank you 😊

[Finchie40]

Yes , that’s what I was saying , if things didn’t get any better after communicating with your partner about your wants and needs then that leaves the ball in your court as to whether you want to stay with someone like that or not , it becomes that person’s decision, if you aren’t satisfied in a relationship, then you have every right to move on , Nobody is forced to be with someone that doesn’t fulfill them, if a girl I was in a relationship with kept with holding sex from me and made me feel sexually deprived after I told her my feelings , then I am sorry , I am leaving that relationship and finding someone else that doesn’t want to make me feel deprived, Life is too short
To settle with someone that only cares about themselves , Sex should never be used as a weapon or
Control , when someone does that shit it’s time To pack your bags and find someone that values you like you value them

[NorthShoreCalling]

Yeah I agree, I wouldn’t either, but I would assume it should be worked out first if possible so that the sex can improve again. I’m just saying the lack of sex is the symptom, not the root cause - that’s what needs to be figured out first in my opinion. Sex should only come if it’s been worked out, not if it hasn’t - in that case it’s best just to move on I reckon.

[loves2learn]

So very true about lack of sex being a symptom and not the root cause.

[NorthShoreCalling]

@loves2learn I can’t help but wonder if this is why so many men are shocked when woman ask them for a divorce sometimes. If she’s been trying to talk to him about problems for ages but he keeps brushing it off because he’s getting his needs met while taking her for granted, then how long is it expected to last realistically.

[loves2learn]

I think you are onto something! My marriage got close to this. I am glad we turned it around.

[Finchie40]

Exactly, I would totally have a talk with her and tell her my feelings before I made any sudden moves without finding out the root cause first , whatever her reasoning would be , would just leave it up to me on what I would want to do in that situation

[Finchie40]

It’s best to be honest and upfront then to just assume things , Sadly their are a lot of selfish people that only really care about themselves and play a victim when really they are the ones that are the pieces of shit , but no one likes to admit they are a piece of shit , I am speaking on behalf of some of the married women I have slept with that I didn’t know were married until after the fact

[loves2learn]

Ugh. Lying like that is the worst. I am sorry they did that to you.

[NorthShoreCalling]

Yeah that’s really rubbish. Upwards and onwards. There are plenty of decent people out there too. Focus on those and don’t let those with issues ruin you.

[NorthShoreCalling]

@loves2learn Ahh I’m really glad it worked out for you! 😊 I can see how it can easily happen. That’s a credit to you both for working it out.

[OlderAndWiser]

If I was married, I would have lived with the lady for at least a year before getting married. During that time, we develop expectations about what our future life together will be. If we are having sex 5-6 times per week for that year, that is my expectation for the future, unless something happens that prevents her, or me, from participating.

I would not call it an obligation but it is more an expectation.

[loves2learn]

No. No one is ever obligated to have sex but I think many wives fail to understand what prolonged periods of non sex do to their husbands mentally. Men are hardwired to need regular sex, survival of the species and all.
.
And many men who go long periods without feel sex starved. It becomes all they can think about, similar to if they went a long time without food or spent a long time out in the cold without proper clothing. I personally put sex at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs pyramid. And I haven’t always. These are recent revalations for me.

[BeachLuvR97]

I wish that I knew how to describe it. It's not literally that my penis aches. But, when it's inside, I can absolutely tell. When I can feel her wetness on the inside of my foreskin, there is no better feeling. My penis can tell. It's not a literal tingling, but darn near close. I still remember that KY made a "his and hers" with their lubes, where there's a tingling sensation... if only circumcised guys knew what they were missing out on. There's just something about that closeness and the feeling. I can't tell you how lonely it is to go for a time without it. It's a longing. It's like a ticking sensation. It's like emotional pain keeps building.

[loves2learn]

I know. It is a lot and it builds. Like a mental illness really. Becomes all a guy can think about. I get it. And I am sorry.

[StraightAsArrow]

@loves2learn It's why so many married men visit Asian massage parlors and strip clubs.

[loves2learn]

@StraightAsArrow I think they should prioritize fixing their relationship with their spouse rather than getting a side piece.

[Subarugirl]

Yeah I agree

[Charliefretz329]

You figured it out Ms Loves

[Apple1996]

Not necessarily obligated too. Both people should want to try and please each other as best as possible tho. I know sometimes my husband isn't always in the mood yet still has sex to make me happy and I've done the same for him. It's not that big of a deal for us to do this since nobody feels forced into doing it.

[loves2learn]

This is so very relatable.

[BeachLuvR97]

Yes. I agree!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Committed to, willingness to, desire to.. When People make sex an obligation, it can kill that sexual relationship... Sex should be a want, a need, a desire never an obligation..

[NorthShoreCalling]

Yep, it takes two to make it work. Not just one giving and one taking. Work on issues together. Enforcing obligation only breeds resentment.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@NorthShoreCalling EXACTLY!!

[HollyK21]

No one is obligated to have sex with their partner. However if you aren’t doing it then don’t be surprised when he/she gets it from elsewhere lol

[ChrisMaster69]

No 100% no.

there is no right, no obligation, no duty or any of that bollox.

Obligation is pretty much just another word to justify rape in marriage.

If a guy has to rely on the fact his partner is obligated to have sex, well it says a lot about his character and him as a ,.’person’

[StraightAsArrow]

That's ridiculous. I have an obligation to pay taxes. I can still choose not to pay taxes.
I have an obligation to have sex with my wife but I can at times choose not to. If I choose
not to long enough, just like not paying my taxes, there will be consequences. She'll get it somewhere else.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow then she isn’t a good wife. Vowing to forsake all others is part of most common wedding vows I do believe

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl And if I'm denying her sex, I am not a good husband and also breaking a vow. This is really common sense. If you're married have sex if you want to stay that way. Don't have sex and your marriage will lack intimacy and will fail.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow there are plenty of ways be be intimate other than just having sex

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl If your husband is good with it, more power to you. If he's like most, he's gonna cheat, get handjobs at the Asian massage or hit the strip club. I'm guessing you'd be ok with all of the above since it saves you the trouble of satisfying his needs. Good luck.

[loves2learn]

@StraightAsArrow she literally just said there are other ways to be intimate. She is not denying him the intimacy. You are deluded.

Furthermore, lack of sex is a symptom not a cause. If the sex disappears that needs to be investigated. Not pushed to the side so they can get a piece of ass somewhere else. WTF is wrong with you?

[StraightAsArrow]

@loves2learn Maybe it's time to love2read. There are other ways to be intimate can mean reading a book or watching a movie together or giving blowjobs. If a woman is willing to be physically intimate in other ways, then clearly the marriage is at least decent or physical contact of any kind is a no go. The post is about obligation to have sex with a spouse. If you think your spouse married you without expecting sex is a guaranteed part of the deal except in cases of physical incapacity or other solid reasons besides just choosing not too consistently, you're wrong. Again, I said consistently, not referring to occasional tiredness, other obligations such as kids getting in the way, etc.

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow the MHG summed it up, there is an expectation not an obligation.

Obligation - a debt of gratitude for a service or favour.

I would think obligation is a big reason why wives suddenly do everything not to have sex.

A guy does not marry a milking machine.

They marry someone they love, a person filled with hormones, with a body that changes throughout the month, it changes before and after child birth, emotionally and physically it changes.

Obligation is basically allowing rape in marriage.

Expectation is far more realistic, mutual expectation even more so.

Have you seen the sales for Viagra type drugs, imagine if there was no viagra type drug, and the husband has obligation to his wife, partner?

[StraightAsArrow]

@chrismaster69 Your using semantics to argue with the basic idea that, yes, a spouse rightfully expects sex. Rape is not part of the conversation. If a spouse says no, force should not be used to make them perform.

Marriage is long and many times sex is done out of obligation to meet the needs of the other even when you don't feel like it. Sometimes we go weeks without sex and we feel distant and have obligatory sex to bring that connection back. My wife has asked me for sex many times when I am not in the mood and I have agreed to it and vice versa. Not every time for sure. When I read the question and the word "obligation" if any spouse feels they don't have any obligation to have sex, then they likely married under false pretenses.

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow expectation not obligation.

Think Middle East, that is obligation

[StraightAsArrow]

Semantics. In my mind, I have a "loving" obligation to have sex with my wife to meet her needs and vice versa. I do not have a right to force myself on her or her me.

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow if you read over the majority of the replies (skipping out the usual women haters), it’s really only in your mind, Semantics or not.

I guess obligation is likely used by some guys to justify cheating.

[StraightAsArrow]

To my original comment on this post, I think the best advice is to say yes as often as possible as the Apostle suggests. Sex is healthy and good for marriage. It's the unseen connection that binds. It should never be by force or coersion as you mention is the case in some middle Eastern cultures.

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow Apostle?

Who the fuck is that cunt?

A marriage counsellor?

[StraightAsArrow]

@chrismaster69 Speakkng of cunts, that little red car on your profile pic screams that very word. Lol, what kind of many drives a VW...

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow have you googled VW Golf R Stage 2… go away and have a look at the stats for stuff like 0-60, BHP. It was Stage 3 but I dropped it back to 2.

Also it’s that or my M4, current one is white and a bit meh.

[StraightAsArrow]

@chrismaster69
Nah, in my part of the world, men drive big trucks and don't refer to biblical characters as cunts. Prior to that, you seemed an intelligent, reasonable person.

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow big trucks lol.

No compensating going on there then 😂😂

Very narrow windy roads, AWD, lots of power equals fun driving, not showing everyone you have a big one.

Oh so it was the Bible?

Let’s get this straight, your sex life is based on the Bible?

That book full of contradictions.

Yeah well it’s 2021, not the 6th Century.

[StraightAsArrow]

@chrismaster69 Yes, males have testosterone and that makes them like big shit. On the other hand, some men, like you for instance, probably have a high estrogen count and prefer little cars, the kind menopausal women drive - VW. Average VW customer is 47 year old and female.
I mean don't get me wrong it's a cute car just not very masculine. I'm sure your boyfriends likes it.

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow yes I love having an average car, it’s really stealth like, which is the entire idea.

Oh nice to know that to be a man you need to drive a truck, always wondered where those F1 drivers were going wrong, they obviously need to hand in their Ferrari’s and buy trucks to drive around the south of France….

The thing is I have zero reason to shout about masculinity, I served enough time in our Armed Forces and enough deployed Operations to Sandy places, that people shouting about how a big truck makes you a man, sort of also shouts insecurity at the same time.

Needs a Bible to tell him how to ensure his wife (or boyfriend, just saying you may like cute boys) is obligated to have sex.
Drives a huge truck so everyone just knows by looking that he is a proper guy topped to the brim with Testosterone.
I bet there is even like a pecking order in trucks, ‘oh Jessie, he’s got an Alpha truck’ …swoon.

[StraightAsArrow]

@chrismaster69 I've been to the south of France. Nice titties on the beach. Anyway, glad you've served. I hear there's a party at the Kabul airport if you'd like me to get you a ticket to attend?

[loves2learn]

@StraightAsArrow why you blowing up this post? Also, “other ways to be intimate” can also include mutual masturbation using toys, that, shocker, produce the same “release” as sex. In conclusion, maybe you should ShutTheFuckUp.

[Lillie_xo]

@StraightAsArrow if one partner is asexual and would be miserable having sex do you think they are still obligated to do it?

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow okay okay dude we get it, your big truck makes you feel like a man, you think your wife is obligated to please you weather she wants to or not. Also if you are referring to the Appostle Paul, do your self a quick favor and maybe reread 1 Corinthians chapter 7. The entire premise of that chapter is encouraging celibacy, even in marriage.. so I don’t think you exactly want to use that as an argument, just saying.

[StraightAsArrow]

@loves2learn Staring to feel sorry for you. It's apparent that your husband isn't fulfilling your needs with his mutual masturbatjon techniques so you're on here to get your release and initiate contact by arguing with strangers.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow dude just stop already, it's creepy. You know she blocked you.

[StraightAsArrow]

@chrismaster69 Calvary arrived! You're being defended by @Subarugirl. At 205 not sure how she fits in a Subaru but I'll bet it's fun to watch her big titties squished against her face. I think you + her + loves2learn are prime for a threesome except they'd probably back out under no obligation.

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl Just when I thought I had her ready for my first affair! Was it something I said?

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow For real? Stop obsessing over my breasts, it creepy and pathetic. Also if you think that making fun of how much I weigh is gonna hurt my feelings lol maybe you should take How to be a Dumbass 101 again.

[ChrisMaster69]

@StraightAsArrow I can see why you need a really big truck lol.

oh the girls are the cavalry lol.

@karaspara

You know these level 1 Nonces, found another here.

[karaspara]

Goodness me imagine slagging off one of the nicest people on the site who is actually happily married what a muppet

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl As stated on your other posts, I think you're hot. I love a real woman with curves. Don't lose even a pound. If you don't want me. obsessing over your appearance, don't post pics of yourself on a pervy website where every other post is about sex, cum, orgasms, and the like. There's nothing creepy about me obsessing over your fantastic boobs. Testosterone = appreciation of the female form.

[loves2learn]

@karaspara ❤️❤️❤️

[ChrisMaster69]

@Subarugirl @loves2learn @karaspara

You know when you are really unfortunate and step on Dog Shit, it’s really fucking annoying and you can’t get rid of it?
I think that pretty much some @StraightAsArrow
I think he’s over compensating with his Huge Truck and Straight as as Arrow thing..

[Subarugirl]

@chrismaster69 you are by far my favorite guy here! you should teach a class or something some of the other so called "men" lol
Call it how to be a Decent Human Being 101 or something like that haha

[loves2learn]

@chrismaster69 that checks out!

[karaspara]

Bent as a 9 bob note 😂

[Subarugirl]

Like a bad penny you just can't get rid of... his poor wife.

[karaspara]

@Subarugirl Doubt he is actually married more than likely divorced broke and bitter 😂😂😂

[StraightAsArrow]

@chrismaster69 I actually laughed out. loud at the annoying dog shit comment! Who the hell is @karaspara? Judgng by her profile pic, she'd kick your VW as into manhood. Her face is a little hardened and needs to be planted squarely between @Subarugirl soft and ample breasts. It would take the edge off.

[karaspara]

@StraightAsArrow Do you write your own material or do you have a support worker helping you? In between window licking sessions obviously

[Lillie_xo]

@StraightAsArrow you totally ignored my very good and very philosophical question
#hurt ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡

[Subarugirl]

@Lillie_xo he's just trolling, looking to sexually harass the women here and probably get just get off.

[Lillie_xo]

@Subarugirl eyah i can tell i just felt like complainingg

[karaspara]

@Lillie_xo Complain away hun it's an Olympic sport in Britain we excel in it 😂😂😂💁

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl Complementing is not harassing. You're a well-endowed, busty vixen.

[StraightAsArrow]

@karaspara Actually happily married to a woman who is sitting on the couch next to me who is probably harassing me men online as we type. An honest marriage is a good one. She knows I'd never act against her irl.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow that's not a compliment, that's objectifying.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow How would your wife feel about you "complimenting" women online on their tits? hmm?

[StraightAsArrow]

@subuarugirl Spare me the snowflake gender studies commentary. This is how many men really think when they aren't hamstrung by political correctness. Your husband probably noticed your gigantors and that's what first attracted him to you.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow Just because you think it doesn't mean you have to say it. So I will ask you again to PLEASE stop.

[loves2learn]

His poor wife. They must lead a miserable existence.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow And how does she feel about the fact that I keep asking to stop making remarks about by breasts and you keep doing it?

[karaspara]

@StraightAsArrow as if your wife wrote that 😂😂😂

[ChrisMaster69]

@karaspara wrote what 🙄

[karaspara]

@chrismaster69 his last longwinded comment

[ChrisMaster69]

@karaspara I think the wind blew it away,

He normally has some guy blow him

[Lillie_xo]

@StraightAsArrow honestly its almost like you dont have an answer ! and that maybe you're totally wrong ! asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality asexuality nomore

[StraightAsArrow]

@karaspra Lady Chris got the other thread deleted.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow actually How do I look questions expire after 24 hours.

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl I read on your other post that you marred aan shorter than you. I'm curious to know if that's where your dissatisfaction oroginates?

[StraightAsArrow]

*typos

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl thanks for the info on question expirations, you knock out!

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow wow you really are a stalker aren't you

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl I was scrolling YouTube today and this was served to me so I watched. For one comment, I'm going to be nice and say this might be beneficial for you. I can't post a link but search this:

No Sex Marriage - Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame. Maureen McGrath. It's a Tedx Talk

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow Please leave me alone.

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl You have a block button.

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow or you could just be a decent human being and stop when you're asked

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl I was trying to turn over a new leaf with my last post and you responded with rudness so back to fun talk. I think I am going to do a Tedx Talk about your massive melons!

[Subarugirl]

@StraightAsArrow I asked nicely

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl I'm writing my TedX speech now. Here's the start:

I met this girl online as a newb
She had two big boobs
Each the size of a Sub
When she talks to me those headlights
Come on like stars in the night
Oh so bright, oh so bright.

Like it?

[karaspara]

@StraightAsArrow @Subarugirl @chrismaster69 Don't give up your day job

[djmzes]

Simple

This is a multiple dimension question. Firstly you have to understand and agree on why you are married and what are you responsibility.
Just like a tree needs water to grow, you are not obliged to water it, but if you want it to give fruit then it needs water. So likewise you or your partner is not obliged, but it is rather a matter of understanding each other needs and find a balance. Secondly if you are not willing to have sex, then do not get married at all. The marriage will be flop because it requires sacrifice from your part and his. And sacrifice does not always mean not do but also doing thing you are bit eager to do.

[Anonymous]

Nobody is obligated, but when the sex dries up the other is gonna want to go elsewhere. Whether that means divorce or cheating.

Sex is the glue that holds the marriage together. You can argue that if that’s the case the person who wants to leave cares more about sex than the person they’re married to, but that’s not really true. You could even argue that when the sex dries up it seems more to me that the person who doesn’t want the sex lacks desire for the other person, and therefore doesn’t care much that their partner is sexually unfulfilled/frustrated.

This seems to happen more when they settled, and they’re only really staying for convenience/practicality. They also probably, whether or not they act on it, sexually desire others.

Basically what I’m seeing here is a lot of coping arguments.

[Anonymous]

Every single response telling you that you are not obligated is wrong at least from a biblical perspective. Neither man nor wife has a right to refuse the other. Of course, you can say the marriage is bad, you're tired, etc, but the verse below is clear. If you don't have sex with your spouse, someone else will.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. Do not refuse one another [or to put it more bluntly, as the Greek actually does and as we read in the King James Version, "Defraud ye not one the other"] except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control."

[Subarugirl]

Yeah, well the bible also said that you could stone rebellious children. Also Paul wrote Corinthians as a letter to the church there, it not an owners manual on how you should live your life. And if you read the entire chapter and stopped pulling things out of context. 1Corinthians 7:1-2 "1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:6
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

This was Paul's opinion and advice to the Church of Corinth addressed to which ever issues they were having at the time. It was never originally intended to be applied to all of Christianity for all times. You can interpret that chapter any way you want to, but I would recommend starting with the whole thing instead a paraphrasing.

[loves2learn]

@Subarugirl get it girl! Hell yes.

[Subarugirl]

Paul also says in 1 Corinthians 7:29
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

Aka don't have sex with your wife.

[Subarugirl]

@loves2learn Thank you. I grew up in an extremely religious and conservative house hold. There are several reasons I am not, but it's still a huge pet peeve of mine when people try and twist scripture for personal gain.

[Opinion Owner]

@subarugirl The old testament allowed the stoning of children in specific cases of extreme disobedience/rebellion such as hitting a parent and that would likely only apply to teenagers. There is no evidence that any child ever endured this punishment and that the law itself was enough to keep any child from doing such a thing knowing the punishment they might endure. The belief that hitting a parent was not different than striking God himself as parents represented His authority on earth to children.

Your ideas of interpretation are incorrect. The new testament applies to all believers in Christ in all times, not simply the individual church or person to whom it was written.

All this to say, how you choose to live your life is your choice. If you don't want to have sex with your spouse, that's your choice. If you are not a Christian, you are under no obligation to live as one. I will also tell you that if you deny you spouse that deep need for too long regardless of your faith, it will end in cheating and divorce. No one gets married to be celibate.

[loves2learn]

@Subarugirl ❤️❤️❤️

[Opinion Owner]

@loves2learn What did I gain?

[Subarugirl]

What are your thought on the rest of 1 Corinthians 7 since that was the basis of your entire argument. Specifically the part were he is saying that you should have sex with your wife, or the part where he says Stay the way you were when you became a Christian, I hope you haven't moved since you became a Christian. Oh and the part that says if you were a slave when you became a Christian, stay a slave. Oh yeah and what about the whole beginning of the chapter where Paul is essentially telling every one to stay celibate unless you're really horny, then its better to get married then burn in Hell.

[Subarugirl]

The entire premises of the whole chapter is that it's technically okay to get married, but its better not to because it is a distraction from god.

[Subarugirl]

You gain the moral superiority to morally guilt trip her into having sex with you even if she doesn't want to "because that's what the bible says".

[Opinion Owner]

@subarugirl Wrong. Your question is asking if you are "obligated" to have sex with your spouse. I simply answered that question from the bible as it's the only source I know that says there is an obligation. But even without that, even the most secular atheist understands that, YES, you, me and everyone who chooses to marry are OBLIGATED to sex with our spouses. Does that mean you fulfill that obligation perfectly every single time, no. My wife sure doesn't and I don't either.

You're not happy. He cheated. You're on your period. Feel ugly. Don't feel close. Tired. There are reasons we say no. But, if you are refusing to have sex for any sustained period of time, you will have a cheating husband and a divorce. If he's turning you down, you'll fulfill your needs elsewhere as well. It's what humans do.

Lol, I am not morally superior. I've done all kinds of horrible.

[Opinion Owner]

@subarugirl I agree with you. That's what he's saying.

[KrakenAttackin]

Anon..."no one gets married to be celibate"... this is the absolute truth.

[KrakenAttackin]

I hate this question.

Morally, ABSOLUTELY! Legally, not at all.

"Sexual Abandonment" used to be grounds for divorce but now in the "no fault" era it has no weight.

We live in an era where marriage is Man and Government/Wife, with the government dictating conduct of marriage.

The fact that a woman can deny her husband sex, and divorce-rape him if he has sex with anyone else, is absurd. Additionally, if the husband/wife do have sex, the wife can decide it wasn't consensual and have him arrested for RAPE.
Modern marriage is complete economic and legal surrender to a woman.
Reason 2,431 no man should ever get married.

[StraightAsArrow]

@KrakenAttackin lol! Can't believe you haven't been ripped to shreds for this one. I guess it's because all the shitty husband haters on here agree with your premise.

[KrakenAttackin]

@StraightAsArrow What I write is the truth.

[DonkeyDan]

Nobody is obligated to have sex with anyone if they don't want to, but a marriage without sex wouldn't be for me unless we had an agreement that I could sleep with someone else. I wouldn't want to as I'm not like that when in a relationship but I'd struggle badly in a marriage with no sex. Even as my marriage was crumbling we still had sex regularly up to the end, in fact the morning we finally called it of she was grinding on my dick like it was the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

Indeed not dear!

But Lemme share a rather unpopular opinion

You're indeed not obligated to provide sex whenever they need it and vice versa

But at the same time, you should have the responsibility to understand each other's physical needs, desires, fantasies as well as comforts and reservations

People tend to mention one side of the story starting that one is not obligated to give sex when their spouse needs but is it not important at the same time to keep the relationship strong!

[Avicenna]

Isn't that one of the reasons for fault in a divorce? It's understood that it's part of the marriage and both have a responsibility to each other to have sex. Obviously it should never be forced, but what's the point of a sexless marriage?

[demonics]

What do you think "to have and to hold" means? Marriage is about DUTY sweetheart. I can't just not feel like providing or protecting one day. We have a DUTY to one another. If you can't keep up with your end of the bargain 1. don't get mad when he steps out or 2. DON'T GET MARRIED. Then again thanks to divorce laws you can pretty much do whatever you want and still come out on top, hence men are peacing out.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

There's definitely a responsibility a husband and wife should have towards each other sexually.

A husband or wife that withholds sexual relations except for medical reasons for a period of time from the other is wrong.

I would never force or make my woman have sex if she doesn't desire it but I would think she's being emotionally and mentally abusive towards me if she didn't give no sex to meet my sexual urges.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy. Of course she is being cruel by denying you sex and there is NOTHING you can do about it.

[help_me_getaboy]

Nope. Even if you're married for whatever length of time you still need to ask for consent. Wedding vowels don't give anyone authority over your body.

[StraightAsArrow]

@help_me_getaboy Vowels? Like, is this Wheels of Fortune?

[help_me_getaboy]

Haha soz I meant 'vows' 😐

[bananathunder]

not obligated to at any moment any time... but there should be an understanding before marriage on how often you both would like to have it. These are things that should be discussed before so there isn't any confusion and resentment later on when someones needs aren't being met

[sage2021]

In the old days it was the woman's DUTY to have sex with her husband. If I'm not mistaking, you could divorce her for not fulfilling her obligation. But times have changed and he would probably just keep cheating on her or her with him.

[JustinTimberlegs]

No I wouldn't say obligated, but hopefully they should care about your needs as well as thier own. They shouldn't feel pressured or anything but at least care enough to acknowledge the partners feelings, even just to talk about it.

[HaveNoName]

Not in the real sense, but if she thinks she is not obligated, then the guy has every right to divorce her and not give her anything and she also loses the right to worry if the husband is having "connections" elsewhere.

Basically, there is absolutely no reason for them to stay married.

[loves2learn]

I was thinking more in the sense is s/he obligated every time s/he asks. Like what if one wants it every day and the other prefers a few times a week. Is that unreasonable?

[HaveNoName]

@loves2learn if they do have a reaonably healthy sexual connection and life, then no. Both could have moments when they don't feel it.

[loves2learn]

Yes. 100% that is us. And I think it is ok.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Of course not. Sex is never, under any circumstances, an obligation

[fred_durst]

NO FUCKIN WAY , people need to learn that anything without consent is pretty much same with RAPE
if a guy want a guaranteed sex , he should use hooker service

[StraightAsArrow]

@fred_durst A wife saying no consistently is a wife not meeting her obligation and same for the husband. This does not mean the denied spouse is justified in forcing sex, it just means that an expected obligation is not fulfilled.

[Aquariusmystery]

I feel like that conversation should’ve come up before the wedding lol

[Citizenkirk]

If you're doing it out of a sense of obligation, than it can't be very good sex anyway, so why bother?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Not in the slightest. It is her body to give to me as she will. I have no claim over it.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ez-bri-z exactly, even in D/s there is no real obligation.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Exactly. Nobody is owed anything. You earn it or you ask for it. If you aren't happy in your marriage because your partner is either unable or unwilling to have sex then work something out with either physical/mental blocks, accept it isn't happening and find alternatives you are both ok with or just leave. At no point do they owe you access to their body.

Pretty simple.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ez-bri-z it’s a shame you can’t thumbs up replies.

However for you a 👍 👍

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Aww ty 💓

[NorthShoreCalling]

A perfect diplomatic and understanding example that is the solid solution! These people who think they’re owed everything for nothing really concern me in relation to any level of maturity.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Yeah, the audacity that some people have in believing they will ever have ownership over another person's body is staggering.

[lightbulb27]

not all the time no, depends on the reasons.

You are responsible for each others needs such as emotional, financial, physical.

[wakeupchy]

not obligated but it would be pointless then for me to be with him if he is not into physical intimacy.

[Dvchill]

Fuck no… no one is ever “obligated” to fuck someone

[Aimée__LJ]

Nobody is obligated to do anything with their partner.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Aimée__LJ very much so.

[Elliegirl]

He’s not obligated to have sex with me, but he should want to have sex with me.

[Dragonpurple]

Not obligated, but expected... however if someone does not ever want to do it, there is a chance that he or she will go find it somewhere else.

[RawIronhide]

Absolutely not, but I'd be concerned as to why to be completely honest.

[anylolone]

Your spouse is just not obligated to be with you at all.

[StraightAsArrow]

That's why YOUR spouse will not be with you long.

[anylolone]

@StraightAsArrow Well, actually, your mentality is why no one will be with you for long but your eventual prison pimp.

[StraightAsArrow]

@anylolone Still on marriage #1. 20 years and counting. We don't deny each other. What # divorce you? Might check that mentality as the cause.

[anylolone]

@StraightAsArrow Zero divorce. What's your number?

"We don't deny each other" we aren't talking about denials.
Not being entitled to your partner doesn't mean that pulling away from your partner won't severely damage your relationship.

Which is why I said "your spouse is not obliged to be with you at all", it has two meanings.
You aren't obliged to have sex but your partner is also not obliged to stay in the relationship.

[OnTheLevel]

I think intimacy in a marriage is expected. I don't know if "obligated" is the right term. I also believe that the absence of intimacy could be sufficient grounds for terminating a marriage.

[loves2learn]

Could also be a sign of a problem that needs fixing.

[weeee]

Yes, but this condition is not always good, especially in cultures where rape-marriage is practiced.

[SunnySensei]

I don't think so, Miss, both the partners need to be willing to get intimate everytime.

[InferiorElegy]

Nope but she also isn't entitled to my hard earned money either, she works then she has her own money, I work and have my own money bills need to get paid we split the cost.
She controls the sex but that wouldn't stop me from watching a porn an doing it myself. She can say no to sex with me but she has no control over what I do with my body.

I am so fucking glad I too ugly to date, because females just seem like bad news.

[Subarugirl]

Well if they sound so terrible to date there are always men

[loves2learn]

Some females are bad news. But most of us mean well. Some bitches give us a bad rep.

[InferiorElegy]

@Subarugirl I'm not gay so guys aren't an option, only options for me are death or staying single.

[loves2learn]

@InferiorElegy that is a very unfortunate life outlook. What makes you think you are too ugly to date? Why not change your appearance?

[InferiorElegy]

@loves2learn plastic surgery has too many risks and costs way to much to even think about it.
I know I'm too ugly to date because been told so my entire life and no girl has ever given me any chance, in fact a lot of those females told x

[InferiorElegy]

me that I was too ugly and also the only people who have ever said I was good looking didn't know what I looked like and when they did find out they ghost me.

[loves2learn]

I dunno @InferiorElegy I have a hard time buying that.

To clarify I was not talking about plastic surgery I was talking about things like a hair cut or shaving/growing a beard.

Dude. My dad is ugly as sin. For realz. If you pm me I could send a pic. I consider it a small miracle I am alive.

I think you are blowing this out of proportion.

[InferiorElegy]

@loves2learn well that's exactly the way my life's gone and I don't expect anyone to believe it.

[Anonymous]

Fraid so. A sexless marriage is grounds for divorce legally 👍

[Subarugirl]

So is marital rape

[HaveNoName]

It is only rape if he is hurting her or forcing himself on her.

[loves2learn]

@HaveNoName it is rape if it is not consensual. I have been guilted into sex. I feel like that is borderline.

[Subarugirl]

@HaveNoName or if he/she is being threatened, blackmailed, or Coerced

[HaveNoName]

@loves2learn that is what I am saying. If having sex is such a big issue, there is absolutely no need to stay married.

[loves2learn]

@HaveNoName it isn’t always. He just had a higher drive than me for many years. Doesn’t me we should divorce over it.

[HaveNoName]

@Subarugirl... you can put many flavors to that definition. But you cannot put a lid on the fact that if you do not want to have sexual relationship with your spouse, the relationship is unhealthy; it is against nature; and it does not have any reason to stay.

[Subarugirl]

@HaveNoName if sex is more important a than your spouse, and sex is the most important thing in your relationship than it is an unhealthy relationship

[Opinion Owner]

SMH women really be trying to make men feel like rapists for wanting to have sex with his wife

[Subarugirl]

Actually it applies to both genders

[StraightAsArrow]

@Subarugirl What the hell does rape have to do with obligation? Your initial question asks if there is an obligation which any sane person who understands the word and marriage would agree there is an obligation. No one said if the obligation is not met that the denying spouse should be hogged tied and forced to have sex.

[Bklynbadboy12]

No I don't think anybody is obligated to have sex but I will be honest for me to take no for an answer. Only because I'd know her spot and exactly how to turn her ! on

[007kingifrit]

yes, or we need to break up or you need to offer me some kind of sexual surrogate

[monkeynutts]

Yeah. It’s cool she can drool or snore in her sleep too. If she doesn’t want to be intimate, there is a problem, but I’m ok to work it out.

[BennyClark]

If you aren't having sex in marriage then you are just friends.
Whats the point of being married then?

[LtJackass]

It'd be pretty stupid to marry someone you don't wanna bone

[Yourfriend2021]

There is no obligation, but if physical intimacy is gone then the relationship is failing.

[bamesjond0069]

Absolutely. If they didn't i just start fucking someone else and ignore them. Thats never acceptable under any circumstance.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@bamesjond0069
So you would become a pathetic loser by cheating on them

[bamesjond0069]

@MysteriousDarkness its not cheating. Its not like id sneak behind her back nor surprise her. I always tell girls im dating if you want me to be with you i have needs and they will be satisfied or else someone else will gladly do it. Girls dont have any problem with this, they have always respected that. What girl won't satisfy her man in the first place? Only the most beta simp kind of men have this problem because they allow such a situation to exist in the first place.

[StraightAsArrow]

@bamesjond0069 Who needs to cheat. $50 to the Asian massage parlor isn't cheating, it's paying another nameless woman to meet the unmet obligation of another woman. Like a surrogate.

[Youdumbeotch]

No, she can still fuck other men besides me regardless of our marriage. Why should I hold her back

[nudeNhorny]

Of course not, as long as she doesn't mind me having sex with other people 🙂

[krin_m]

I would hope that it not out of obligation but desire!

[JamesRandiDebates]

Yes. Definitely. And if they refuse, you are free to go and find it wherever you can. They had their chance.

[eagle1951]

no she's not. and after our second child was born in 1989. we quit having sex , went on till she passed away Feb 2018

[loves2learn]

Do you mind me asking why you quit?

[eagle1951]

well she add some weight and did not feel comfy in her body

[loves2learn]

I am very sorry to hear that. I added weight after my second child too. I was happy to lose it. Tho still felt good in my body.

[jeffryrobertbabb]

No, sex is an individual decision, not an obligation.

[In_Trance]

I think there should be a mutual agreement on the frequency at the very least

[B4852]

Obligated takes the romance out of it. But I may say obligated not to have sex with other people.

[Calgarydirty69]

yes ofcourse sex is a need, not a want he/she married you that is the price of marriage he/she wants 50% of all you earn

[Bro_still]

Within reason. If she’s sick or on her period, then no. If she’s just not initially in the mood then we can work together to get her in the mood

[sattii2607]

Sex can be obigatory, it's actually a way to express oneself and both need to want it can't force the spouse.

[SecretIdentity]

Yes. It is my responsibility to please my husband whenever he needs it, and vice versa.

[StraightAsArrow]

@secretidentity Common sense.

[exitseven]

No, but I hope she will tonight.

[Anonymous]

I always come cross your questions if you just wasn't married.

[Subarugirl]

What do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't have the right to say it you're belong to another lucky man.

[loves2learn]

Mr. blue anon, no offense, but are you sober?

[Opinion Owner]

@loves2learn well since no offense yes I'm sober but I havey believes , my morels.

But sometimes when I see her pics I just get high 😂😂

[loves2learn]

Huh. Ok. Well yes, she is very beautiful. Is English your second language by chance?

[Opinion Owner]

@loves2learn third language

[loves2learn]

Totally understandable. :)

[Abdulwahh]

In islam its compulsory for married couple to satisfy each other

[Sami28]

No, but if she doesn't want to
then there must be a problem

[StraightAsArrow]

@Sami28 Usually her.

[Torchwoods]

No. But if they don't want sex, you are under no obligation to stay with them.

[karaspara]

Obligation yeah see you in Hell motherfucker

[ChrisMaster69]

@karaspara
😂😂😂😂😂😂