Does a wife have to submit to her husband?

Question

TonyBologna25 · Accepted Answer

To an extent if you want a healthy dynamic in your relationship. Progressives tend to think that deviating from our biological roots is empowering. I've always taken the lead in all of my relationships, and guided us looking out for the best interest of the two of us. Due to biology, men tend to lead in relationships, as it's only natural. I

In order for a man to feel confident, powerful, and almost unstoppable... his woman must respect his judgement, strength, and ability to protect and lead. In order to achieve this, he must demonstrate these abilities to his woman. If his woman likes what she see's, she will naturally submit. If she doesn't trust these traits in him, then she becomes bitchy and resents the man for making her step in and handle these things in a relationship.

Women naturally submit and feel feminine to a man that they see as worthy. When I say submit, I don't mean it in a context of inferiority to a degrading extent. Women are strong and amazing in different ways that men are. They are nurturing, can birth a fucking child, and hold families together.

I personally don't demand in relationships. I fulfill my role as a man, and every woman I've dated responds to that by naturally trusting my ability to look out for the two of us and lead us in the right direction. She helps me and nurtures me and makes my life so much better so that I can continue to be the best version of myself and take care of the two of us in my way, and she can take care of the two of us in her way. It's never been a moment in which I demand her to do dishes or cook or give me a massage before bed. If you're a man, and doing shit correctly, she'll naturally do these things without even having to ask. She likes to do it. I value her opinions and views.

If you deviate away from this basic dynamic between man and woman too much, then the relationship will most likely turn toxic and become unfulfilling for both parties. Not always, but mostly.

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I'm not entirely sure as to why men sort of accept these women who are masculine by nature and then resent them for it. Human emotions and intimacy are complex, and to suggest everything is 50/50 is sort of asinine. Men and women are very different and it really comes down to balance. Women are much more suited for certain things, just as men are. Let's stop trying to feminize men.

MikeAndMolly · Accepted Answer

No.

A good marriage is based on mutual trust, respect, and affection.

Neither party should truly submit to the will of the other entirely, but should instead both move together on things about which they do not initially agree, and compromise where possible on issues about which they cannot agree entirely.

Now that's not to say that a wife can't play a submissive role in certain contexts (especially the bedroom, if that's what you both want) without fundamentally lowering her position in the relationship. Rather, it's about how you treat each other when the cards are down and life's problems are serious, and also how you treat each other in small ways throughout life's little challenges.

For example, a wife shouldn't submit to her husbands will that they get an abortion if it isn't what she wants. That's an issue that should be decided together, yes, but ultimately she should have final say on that issue if the conflict can't be resolved since it's her body.

As a flip to this issue, a wife who wants her husband to get a vasectomy should be able to be a part of the decision making process, but it should ultimately be up to the husband because it's his body.

On issues like where to move the family or who should be responsible for different household tasks, that's something both people should work to agree on together. A wife shouldn't be relegated to cooking and cleaning just because her husband demands him to. Those responsibilities should be divided up with an attitude of love and service by both people.

For example, strong chemical smells from bleach and other cleaners, and loud droning noises like vacuuming can trigger my fiancee's migrains, so I typically do those things. We cook together or in turns, depending mostly on how we're feeling each night. I have a stronger aversion to bodily fluids than her, so she's more likely to clean up after a sick pet (or eventually maybe child, but I'll bet I won't be able to get away with avoiding diapers for long).

In short, partners should be equals in a healthy relationship.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Yes. When you get married that is what your vows are for. God made man the head over YOU, and the children. He leads, you follow. If you can't respect your husband, then your not being a good wife. If you see that your husband is not somebody worth following, then you have two things going on. Either you picked the wrong kind of man to marry, or he is not yet ready to lead. That's how most marriages because lacking sex ends in divorce. If you do not want to be lead, don't get married. It's a willing decision. That's why you talk this out and understand why your getting married. To submit doesn't mean you give your free will away. It means to love the person in the submission to love that person. You vowed for richer or poorer, better or worse. To submit doesn't mean 'to be a slave of somebody else's will', it means 'to show love by sacrificing your wants for another person's needs'. If you needed your husband to pick up groceries, should he not 'submit' to your request? If he wanted sex and you don't, does that mean you only have sex when you wanted when it's clear that your body is not just yours ALONE? That's why you do not date, have sex, children or marry a person you have no INTENT of loving and submitting to. There are so many good husbands who get treated like dirt because the wives they wanted to fool around with other men, and treat them as if they can do whatever they want. Like their still unmarried. Marriage is not the same as dating.

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

People take the word submit out of context with that scripture. When people hear the word submit now a days, they think of a master and his dog or slave but that's not what it means. To submit as a wife means to trust your husband as a man who knows how to lead and take care of his family. When men show good leading skills, providing and protect skills, women automatically fall into submission cause we fill safe and secure around him. We can fill easy and rest on our femininity and don't have feel like we're plagued with being the husband and the wife at all times.

And i find it iconic that most of the comments from men saying the woman doesn't have to, but these are the same men who complain about feminism and how it makes them feel emasculated all the time... but now you're saying you don't want a woman to submit to you... that's interesting. As soon as it comes from the Lord's mouth.. then suddenly it's moronic but when women tell you they ain't gonna submit then you start talking about how feminism has ruined women and America.. like which one is it.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Jesus said Moses allowed people to divorce their wives and husbands because the hearts of people were hard. If you love your husband and trust him to not abuse you or exploit you and you want to submit to him - you can. I don't think you should ever submit to somebody you don't love or doesn't love you. I used to be terrified of marriage and child birth and avoided men all my life as a result - then I realized - it wasn't that I was afraid of giving birth or get married - it was that I did not love anybody enough to give birth to their kids.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"Have to?" = legally required, morally obligated, compelled by Biblical verse?

sejla · Answer

The Bible was written thousands of years ago. Some things hold up with time other things do not.

BrotherFrost · Answer

I like how most if not all religions find a way to control the primal in humans. As a rule, women are more emotional than men, and are proven to act on their emotions almost as a rule. The best example is a study on how women vote: it is very important in which cycle she is on the election day because she is more likely to vote for the "more attractive" politician if she does not hate him. That means that a woman without very strong political opinions can decide to vote for person B on election day day if she wanted to vote for person A from the day elections were announced. This means that, as far as politics is concerned, women are more unpredictable than men. Going further, lack of both formal and informal rules in the western societies show this even better, as more and more women are giving in to their primal side: some completely, other partially. As a consequence of this the western society is being destroyed from within. Someone said that woman are more important then men because their moral decline inevitably leads to the destruction of that society, and i i tend to agree. It's fascinating actually.

Based on this, young women do actually need to be held in check either by men or older women who went past their reproductive age and entered menopause.

mistixs · Answer

Well the Bible says yes, but you need to view it in the Biblical context.
The man is the leader, but Biblical leadership is about serving the people under your authority, even giving your lives for their benefit if necessary (Matt 20:25-28, Phil 2:3-4, Eph 5:25-30).
Men are told to utilize their authority in the same way as Jesus does. Jesus gives people plenty of freedom, and doesn't ask anything without giving 100fold in return (Mark 10:29-30).

So, the answer is yes, but from a biblical perspective, this arrangement is actually more beneficial for women than for men. It puts the women's needs and interests first.

ImNotGay · Answer

Taking a single verse from the Bible is a dangerous game. Like most religions, they are supposed to be taken as a whole, not pick and choose. From what I know, marriage in our modern world is rarely what it was designed to be by God (not that every marriage is therefore impure or fake, there is just an issue of understanding). Marriage is a covenant meant to represent our ("our" being Christians) relationship with God. The body of Christ (body of believers) take the "wife" role in this covenant. We are meant to submit to God. In this way, the role of "wife" should submit to the role of "husband". In return, the role of husband is to do all things in love, always looking out for the best for the wife, just as God is a loving God.
In application, if the wife is concerned that she cannot or should not submit to the husband, then they should ponder whether they should really get married. Getting married is a covenant of full trust in each other and the real love between each other.

stardust101 · Answer

No, she doesn’t HAVE to. If you want any sort of peace though then at times, it is wise to submit to your husband. I hate that word ‘submit.’ It sounds slave-ish. Just know that its not, God doesn’t want us to live enslaved to our husbands. And when God called women to submit to their man, He also called husbands to love their wives the way God loves the church, which is unconditional love. I don’t know one man who lives up to that command by God. Honestly, when you’re with the right person, you will allow his influence on your life and you will trust him and want to “submit” a lot of the time.

Dave-from-Illinois · Answer

Those were biblical days. Things change. In 1st Corinthians, you also have women to keep silent in the church and to wear a head covering. Today, many men cannot earn enough to support a family so the wife gets a job to help make ends meet, so why in the hell would she quietly submit when she contributes as much as him? If a woman submits in the sense that she allows him to make financial decisions and she is fine with it then OK, but if she is ever treated like a doormat then she needs to take her KJV bible and shove it up his ass.

Lliam · Answer

Submit? As if he owns her or something? Like he's King Shit and she is just a weak, mindless, submissive accessory? Lol. Fuck no! That rule was written by a misogynistic, patriarchal culture.
A guy who wants that should get himself a dog. But he doesn't deserve a woman.
A woman doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do.

Not that there aren't times when a woman should be submissive. Being submissive is feminine. By that, I mean letting the man take the lead, open doors for you and treat you like a lady. When you put your little hand trustingly in his or slip your arm through his, it makes him feel like a million bucks. You can ask for his opinions and his help. He wants to feel like your big, strong hero. It's called playing the lady and gentleman game.

In bed, a man is bigger and stronger. Sex for a woman is a submissive act. The guy can overpower you, position you, etc. But he has absolutely no right to demand things that you don't want.

Tanisha69 · Answer

I don't know... it's kind of the ideal I guess. He should be understanding and kind and not harsh like it says. I think we should be equals but you know... there has to be a head of the family and traditionally that was the guy. I don't realy have a big problem with it because when it comes to doing the taxes or chasing away a creepy guy hanging around the property I kind of want the man to handle that. when it comes to kids and stuff I think the wife should have the final say. I guess I dont have a problem with it.

arabgoddess · Answer

Some cultures have abused the idea of how women should be submitting to their husband, for e. g. Saudi arabia...
I would be submissive to a husband who has eyes only for me and who would treat me like his queen... Other than that no man is deserving of a woman being submissive to him.

R_Cakes91 · Answer

This passage in Colossians was actually mistranslated. It’s missing quotations because immediately afterwards Paul criticizes the people who said this. The Apostle Paul was a HUGE supporter of women and he had many women working as church leaders. So no, women don’t need to do this.

J_Claire · Answer

She doesn’t have to unless it’s an already discussed relationship where submission is expected from the wife. I have one of those arrangements with my girlfriend so yes she “has to” submit, but if we hadn’t decided together that it’s what we both want then there’s no expectation for her to do so

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Of course she does, if you live in a redneck religious community cult that only exists because of legal loopholes. Nobody has to submit to anyone.

loveslongnails · Answer

Seems to me the KEY here is " ….. as is fitting in the Lord".
I always understood that to mean it's the man's duty to follow the word of the Lord, conduct himself in a manner that demonstrates it, and thereby be worthy of having the submission of his wife. If the husband isn't submitting to his own Lord, how can a woman submit to her husband?

Juxtapose · Answer

You don't have to submit to your husband, what the fuck is that shit?

ask4any · Answer

By" Traditional Standard's" and what is written in The Bible, yes, a woman is supposed to submit to the Head of the Household and love him as God loved the Church. A husband is required to honor his wife and care for her and love her as God loved the Church!

tiajoka · Answer

Submission comes in many forms. You can be a dominant woman and still submit to your husband in your own way; mainly I think it's just listening and communicating in a way that you wouldn't with any other man, as well as respecting him as a figure of authority. But do not let him walk all over you, if you're not strong willed or dominant, that can often be an issue; but if you are then it will be hard to submit in general.

gangster123 · Answer

Everyone has a freedom to chose when to submit and when not. Same applies to men.. and to be efficient in a relation both has to be understanding to each other and obey and accept each other for small small things.. which makes life easier and lovely.

zaharaa · Answer

I'm not too sure about submitting but I feel like it's a 2 person thing to submit to eachother in most cases

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Ideally yes since the man should be the leader of the household and that scripture was an instruction to born again Christian women and Christian husbands on how they should live towards each other.

Morover, a woman better very careful who she marries and submits to because she can find herself being controlled and abused by a man if she gives him that kind of power over her.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are funny creatures. They want a strong leader when choosing a man, but refuse his leadership unless it's to her advantage. That's why 99% of American women are nowhere near wife material. They want to be the boss, but put the blame on the husband for things not going according to plan.

bonniebaby19 · Answer

yes... my mom always talks with dad about stuff, but he is the head of the house and he makes the final decisions.. AND if he is wrong, he admits it and takes the heat from a bad decision.

SexualChocolate85 · Answer

I was taught if a woman wants to rep any of the benefit of a man she needs to submit to him, even without him asking at times. Nothing opens mans heart faster than a woman that feeds him and give him sex with out him asking. You have ask your self ladies, when have you ever had to ask your husband to take care of you? A woman should submit to her man, he would have every right to go out and find someone who will if she doesn't. As the saying goes in black community "closed legs don't get fed.

Clo917 · Answer

'Have to' No, it's her choice. Nobody has to submit to their partner if they don't want to, sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. It depends on your relationship dynamic and what makes y'all happy.

TonyMetal_1986 · Answer

Yes she does, only if he deserves it and also if he's a real man, which means feeds his wife, provide for her and takes good care of her, makes her a housewife.

grimmben · Answer

in my opinion not, a wife has to have her own ambitions her friends and her own opinions, she should not just be there to wait up to her husband tells her what she have to do, i myself would get bored if i had a girlfriend/wife that does not challange me

LoU_Hades · Answer

If you consider your husband per definition as natural opponent, so you have to submit or to fight. I healthy relationship it's plain and simple a cooperation.

ariadneR · Answer

The only way I'm "submitting" to my boyfriend is in bed No other time. I'm my own person. Sure he can give suggestions on things he thinks I should do, but the decision is ultimately mine.

Angelo75 · Answer

Ah. This is an argument-landmine. I'd say "yes". But the definition of what "submit" actually means is totally different compared to what media and community considers it nowadays.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

In a Christian marriage, yes, but only within the context of his loving her "as Christ loved the church" (Eph 5). Too many guys take this out of context as permission to be a slave driver to their wives.

Reaperbot666 · Answer

should not be forced to. but both should be willing to from it to time.

Randomawkwardness · Answer

No, of course not. The only people who think they should are sexists fucks who haven't left roman times.

admles · Answer

No, why should she have to? Who is the authority that decides that?

SueAnon84 · Answer

I don't think with everything! Just with things that she is okay with!

Phoenix98 · Answer

Obligated is the word I'd use but to be fair it's not a one way street a husband has to respect his wife, treat her well and take her opinions and thoughts into account it is a partnership after all.

Atlboy1992 · Answer

Absolutely not. Who gives a shit what the Bible says? This is 2019. A woman should support her husband, not submit to him

Passinggas · Answer

No, she can fight him at every turn and live in turmoil, hate, and basically a living hell relationship. Seen it and I say if you have to ask this, do everyone a favor and stay single.

Jesse0 · Answer

It's a condition that God set on women because Eve disobeyed: “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16

GeanieJ78 · Answer

Yes and no but not forcefully. I think it's more of a choice than a requirement.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes , this verse got my head wondering , i don't want no woman submitting to me i want us both love each other , care for each other together.

MannySimms · Answer

Really?

StephenCF · Answer

Apparently Muslim wives do ☪️ A married Muslim woman in London wouldn’t even shake my hand when I tried to thank her for showing me to a train station

excommunicado · Answer

As you can see in the text you posted, it's kinda of a two way street! Each partner should submit in their way as a part of their contribution to make the relationship work

chris_987 · Answer

Well the rest of that verse is that men should be willing to die for there wife. So if you can submit to someone that’s willing to die for you then you probably don’t trust them

seniorghostman · Answer

Hell no. Everything is give and take. There is “I can over look this” and “if you wanna keep me you have to fix this”. Nobody should be dominant or controlling the other and conformity should be at will.

Adrian2306 · Answer

of course not... i dont need a submissive wife or girlfriend... i need a partner in crime...

Somethingwittty · Answer

In the bedroom if the guy is the Dom yes. Otherwise I would rather have a partner than a housewife.

Rocky_Jocky57 · Answer

We no. Compromise yes, submit, no. You're not a slave.

AntiHunger · Answer

Submitting to your husband means to have respect for him and men have to do the same.  “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21)

jasco · Answer

well sense the beggining of time the wives have always done so but not nesscary but ehh depends i dont mind a girl whose willing to give her opinion but i dont want a girl controlling me

DWornock · Answer

Except in the unlikely event that a husband would mistreat his wife, the wife should submit to her husband. After all, a man's decisions are far superior to any decision a women would make.

Codywow · Answer

Yes, and the reverse is true also. If a couple who is married cannot submit to each other, they are not a good match and therefore should not be married.

ginger_supremacist · Answer

The Bible also says slaves should submit to their masters, and many other things like that. If you don't want to live in a medieval social structure, leave the cult.

just_a_potato · Answer

Uh no, I'm not living the rest of my life on one verse after all 😊

standardguy · Answer

If you are a real Christian then you will really care what the bible says. And so you will try to follow also this advice/order.

Manlyman1 · Answer

Although you shouldn't live by scriptures written by ancient people, that text seems reasonable, as long as your man keeps his end of the deal.

Lewisss · Answer

No. Be free I say, just because your married shouldn't mean you stop doing the things you love to. You're not someones property.

MitchPayroll · Answer

Absolutely, she has to be submissive at some point in her life somewhere and to someone. if you don't do it with your husband, he either isn't dominate or isn't the right one for you. Every women will submit to the right person.💪🏼

whaturlookingfor · Answer

Yup woman must submit to their man men is the king in the kingdom.

Does a wife have to submit to her husband?

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