People don't understand the Obey part, they think it's about being a slave or some shit when that is REALLY not what it's about. They hear Obey and then their ears and mind turn off. They forget everything else that applies in the context of that "Obey" commandment.
The "Obey" is to be used to provide her with safety, foster trust, and create the framework that allows her to safely "let go completely" to be totally vulnerable and able to properly nurture her family with her entire being. I think on some level most women know, or maybe feel, that the desired purpose of their life is to love, feel, and serve the ones they love and to be safe, valued and loved in return.
If you are a good, strong, man leading the way a woman will just about always naturally fall in line anyway, most women want to follow so badly that they will choose an asshole over a weak man they can control. BUT to be that kind of man, the kind worth obeying, it requires good listening skills, empathy, rationality, strength and a strong enough spine to say NO, to the woman you would fight and die for.
Obey is NOT! about accepting abuse, tyranny, slavery, being weak, being micro managed, being lesser than etc... But it does emphasize VERY much how important it is for a woman to choose a good mate.
THIS is also exactly how a proper safe sane a consensual S&M relationship is supposed to work as well, just with some added kinks; not that 50 shades crap.
This is the kind of relationship that I have with my man. I allow him to hold a certain level of control over me for my safety, I submit to his judgement of a given situation. But I don't wait for him to tell me what to do, and he doesn't control every aspect of my life.
There are a lot of Christian ideals that have become bastardized over the centuries and are now used to justify a handful immoral practices. And the way the asker posed the OP, it did come off that way, but as you have MHO, maybe I misunderstood his meaning.
Submission is a woman's natural state and woman are happiest when submitting to the will of their husband or father. But often you must enforce your will upon her to submit. The rise in feminism has left a lot of women unhappy in life and 1 out of 4 women are on anti depressants.
Sometimes it's necessary when my wife isn't acting right, refusing to keep the house cleaning and have a meal prepared for when I come home from work. I tried to discuss her disrespectful behavior but she flew into a rage and attacked me so I grabbed her and put her across my knee hitched up her skirt pulled down her panties and with the palm of my hand spanked her bottom as hard as I could for 10 minutes. Her ass was red raw and she couldn’t sit down for a week. She ran home to her parents who were discusted by her behaviour and her father threatened to take his belt to her.
After a week she realieased how wrong she had been and apologised, we had amazing make up sex. Ever since she's been as good as gold putting maximum effort into our marriage and is now pregnant. It was all just a classic shit test to test my limits and of course if I hadn't disciplined her she would not respect me. She is happier now sumitting to my will and being the good helper the lord intended
I'm not Christian, I grew up in a home where the woman was the primary breadwinner, so the man did all the cooking and cleaning, and my man grew up with a woman who owes a cleaning business, and I'm allergic to most household cleaners.
And you NEVER have the right to strike anyone just because they don't "obey" you, unless they have previously given you consent before you hit them.
@dragonfly6516 so you approve of spousal abuse when it's the wife?
Never. I don't think its okay to "abuse" anyone. I'm into the S&M lifestyle, so it's very common for me to see people willing and consenting all the time to being wipped, flogged, and beaten, and I known women who enjoy being punished for misbehavior, but they have consented to being spanked if they misbehave.
Simply striking someone just because you want to in anger at them, in never okay.
I was at one point in time abusive to my ex husband, because he was also abusive to me. I divorced him. I've never been a violent person, and to this day I still don't really understand how or why I got to that point where I was able to strike him, but I've never felt okay about doing that, even in self defense.
@dragonfly6516 so abuse is ok if consented too such as honour and obey?
@dragonfly6516 not violent but you enjoy beating people with whips like on the amistad?
@dragonfly6516 That's cool, sounds like you've got a good arrangement, I find that kind of life style fascinating. It's strange to me how this is now a big taboo, like the last sexual taboo there is. Even though it's probably how most of humanity has lived for many thousands of years.
I know not all men and women are the same so there is no "one size fits all" but in a general sense it's so common and easy to see, from a mans perspective, how many women just naturally are happy to follow along. How many of them even choose jobs that avoid responsibility beyond a certain level, like middle management, or jobs that involve caring or serving people in some way. I mean women will even change political beliefs based on what their man believes... They will fall in love with a psycho and let him sell her into prostitution because they want to follow and please...
it's a remarkable amount of vulnerability and it's HIGHLY feminine and attractive, really makes a man want to step up!!
Be submissive in all things? NO. That's not what the Bible teaches. The term "submit" is more like a military terminology where subordinates follow leadership.
A wife should follow her husband's leadership. And husbands... you'd better be taking great care of your wife. She'll follow you anywhere you L-E-A-D as long as she knows you ALWAYS have her back.
But expecting her to follow commands (clean up the house, do the laundry, make me supper)... you've got another thing coming! That's not at all what the Bible teaches or expects from wives. A wife is not a slave or your personal valet. She's someone you walk through life with side by side! She has a LOT of great ideas if you just let her be herself! Guys... you need to show her love and care ALL the time! You do that, and your wife will be like a little puppy wanting to do everything for you. Your actions speak loud volumes toward your wife!
If I were to ever get married, I wouldn't argue with him on most things. We would agree with each other on most things. Due to the fact that I probably wouldn't marry someone who has poor decision-making skills, someone who is hard to talk with and reach compromises with and someone who just couldn't work well with me. I also wouldn't marry someone who's viewpoints were just entirely different from mine.
There are exceptions to this. Obviously, if he wants me cover up a murder for him or something... I'm going straight to the police. However, we would agree on most things.
Obey was written in the mindset that the husband would never ask the wife to do something that wasn't in her best interests. It was also written, knowing that the wife is the heart of the household, and can make living conditions extremely uncomfortable for a husband, if he chooses to make demands of the wife that she dislikes.
It's not about a woman never having to do things she doesn't like. In fact the only reason for the commandment to obey is exactly because she will have to do things she dislikes, if she only ever had to face things that were enjoyable there would be no reason for the "obey".
From a religious perspective a wife making life hard because her husband asks her to do things she doesn't like, things that are in the families best interest, means she is sinning and needs to repent. It is not about a wife leading from the bottom through manipulation, it is about a wife trusting, respecting and loving her husband enough to follow his lead and that man being deserving of that trust and honoring it, even if she doesn't like what needs to be done.
@Jager66 well said
@Jager66 I am sorry that my opinion came across as 'manipulation is good'. Because that wasn't what I meant. I think every woman who enters marriage knowingly, knows she will have to do things she doesn't like, and will have to put the needs of others before her own. My point was that a woman would obey, but a man wouldn't ask her to do anything that wasn't in her best interest. ( or the interest of her family).
Why would you want someone like that? Not all women want to be submissive. Some like dominance , some don't it's different for everyone. Most people want an equal relationship. Where you know, they both have an equal say in things and know each other's area of expertise. Try it. It might surprise you.
Opinion
15Opinion
i don't see why a woman has to be submissive and i don't see why anyone in a relationship should "obey" their partners as if they were dogs.
love and honor absolutely. Submissive is up to the people in the relationship. obedience shouldn't even be an issue as partners shouldn't disobey their partner or expect obedience of their partner. again they are humans not pets
This question would have been out of place in 1958, and you're obviously fishing for one specific answer (it's kind of confusing how both "yes" and "no" are headed with pictures that seem to imply a woman should be submissive). How about you just worry about you and your Little-House-On-The-Prairie relationship and let everyone else do what feels right?
Are you asking or telling me too?
More like a suggestion. Like, "Why don't you?"
But the question mark?
Yes, the first word in that sentence was "how", so it's either a question or an exclamation.
Love and honour, yes. But obey, nope... Not really, if he asks me to have threesome with some strangers, I would never do it, or if he asks me to stay with him even after he cheated on me, I would never!
Submissive? Not really, many women are dominant. 😂😂😂
Many women are single too.
and a lot more men then women are also single
@Stellastarling a lot of women must be in a plural marraige then considering 52% are women
And that of course takes in account all the
1) too young to marry
2) don't want to marry
3) more men become gay
4) not in a position to marry, and (my personal favorite)
5) not wanting to marry someone because they feel that there are too many men in the world who think that women should be dominated 'willingly'.
@Stellastarling yes it does.
that's the point @asker. Women aren't necessarily single because they can't get someone. A lot of them are by choice single.
@Stellastarling yes "choice" lol.
Yes that is what I says
what is so wrong with being single? some people actually like being single.
@Stellastarling until their eggs go past their sell by date and they are crying hysterically at an office Christmas party.
uh no. there are also celibate women in case you've forgotten. and not everyone has the time and the patience for a relationship. Also we must women always be the one's to adjust? why can't men do that too?
@Stellastarling adjust to drunken spinster at an Christmas party because they choose career over marraige and kids?
ummmm... yeah. Marriage is not for everyone. It's not something that has to be done just something that people maybe want to. There is nothing wrong with being a spinster or a bachelor. Also why drunk? You just added the word drunken over there and made it seem like a bad thing. Otherwise that sentence was perfectly fine.
@Stellastarling drunk and weeping at an Christmas party. Keep up
I have no idea what you're saying. Cause in today's world, no one wants a relationship and all of that commitment stuff. Just fun. That's it
@Stellastarling fun until they are past their prime years and nobody wants them after riding on the cock carousel
do you not understand the fact that their are bachelors too? not every guy gets married either. Also, intercourse isn't everything. Neither is romantic love or marriage. One can be perfectly happy without the three
ok, thats your choice. not everyone is like that.
Love? Yes
Honor? Yes
Obey? No
I don't know about you, but I want a wife who loves me, respects me, and showers me in affection on her OWN accord - not because she was brainwashed from a young age to obey her husband without question since the first time she attended Sunday School.
Not always men sometimes do need a power check I know I do. A good wife should know when to stand down and trust him and when to step up and confront us when necessary its a balance. Because we do stupid stuff too and sometimes it takes a 3rd party to make us realize stuff.
Both should love and honor each other. As for obeying, what are we dogs?
I'm not his kid and he's not my kid either. If I'm dating a grown man then he's with a grown woman, not a childlike female.
Both partners should love, respect, and honor each other. But I'd never enter a relationship where I felt I had to "obey" my partner. Decisions should be mutual and compromise is important. BOTH of our feelings and needs should be respected.
Never! You are marring a person because you love him/her and not because you need a slave. Women should have equal dominancy / control in a family
Your confusing marraige with slavery in afraid.
Slaves are unwilling
Are willing
some submissive women are forced to be submissive even if they don't want to. Ever thought about that?
@Stellastarling in Islam yes.
Not necessarily just in islam. It could really be anywhere. You cannot just say that a particular community only follows a particular set of rules. Not every muslim woman is submissive you know. Some are even dominant. it's one's choice.
@Stellastarling Exactly. Almost 0.9 billion women are forced in submissive marriage. Which accounts for 12% of world's population
oh definitely. it's a crime if you ask me
I'm sorry but I don't. Im a feminist so I believe in equality of men and women. Men do not necessarily dominate due to religion. There are instances where the female is dominant. Also, its not really religion per se as I'm pretty sure the kuran (holy book of muslims) doesn't say that. It's been corrupted over time. It's not really right to say that it's because of religion. That's a stereotypical thought process.
@Stellastarling 4:34 Husbands should take full care of their wives, with [the bounties] God has given to some more than others and with what they spend out of their own money. Righteous wives are devout and guard what God would have them guard in the husbands’ absence. If you fear high-handedness from your wives, remind them [of the teaching of God], then ignore them when you go to bed, then hit them. If they obey you, you have no right to act against them. God is most high and great.
are you quoting something or was that sarcasm. I'm not sure.
@Stellastarling it is a verse from Quran
interesting... it's weird though you know, and not everyone follows it. So don't worry.
@Stellastarling yup. But what about Muslim countries like Pakistan, Saudi Arabia etc. I know a 58 years old pakistani married to a 16 years old girl. And beating his wife daily. He isn't even exception Western Muslims don't follow it but others do.
the thing is in muslim countries they happen to practice polygamy. Especially the rich ones. it's like a status symbol to have many wifes. so that's why a lot of the times there is a huge age difference.
@Stellastarling ik. But she is her only wife. And yeah sadly polygamy is legal in Pakistan
so, how do you know someone like that? and if you do, why don't you tell him to stop?
@Stellastarling this must be why so many poorer middle eastern men are mad to get a western wife as rich men will have taken all the best wives, plus a western wife doesn't require a dowery
But the point is the western wife or any other wife will not take that kind of shit. She would just go to court the day her husband raises his hand on her. In fact she might not even marry him then. Or get a divorce if necessary
@Stellastarling that girl was my online friend's sister. I told him to stop but that isn't allowed in there culture. You aren't supposed to tell your in laws what they should do. Also no pakistani listens to Indian.
@Stellastarling most middle eastern countries only allow the man to divorce. How do you go to court when he won't let you leave the house? There are plenty of horror stories of western women marrying middle eastern Muslims. It's starts out fine but then he changes after marraige. Many women have had to choose between staying with him or losing her kids of she leaves.
@Stellastarling What will you do if a pervert Muslim (*Not generalizaling Muslims) marries a local girl, comes to your country, lies to you that he is unmarried, marries you and takes you back to his country? He isolates you so won't be able to report police. Or if you report police, they make fun of you... How will you get divorced? That's the brutal situation with some
The police will take a woman back to her husband if she runs away but a woman on her own unreported by a male relative or husband will be gang raped by 30 guys before then.
actually @asker the woman doesn't necessarily have to convert to the man's religion. No woman would do that. It's not so simple where they are a completely different person before marriage and a completely different one after. Just so you know, there are very rare chances of such cases happening in the western woman's point of view. Do you really think that the woman will listen to her husband if he says don't leave the house? Also, this is the poor we're talking about. I don't see a line of western women willing to marry poor muslim men. Also fyi divorce is now legal for women too in muslim countries just a lot harder
also, i wouldn't go to his country. Women aren't stupid. Why would anyone do that? Plus I would have to be with someone for at least 5-10 years for that. Also, do you really think that I wouldn't discover anything during that time period. almost impossible
@Stellastarling 1) Not poor exactly. Middle class Bc of value of dollar
2) You've to convert to Islam if you wish to marry a Muslim
3) Chances aren't that real Bc non of it exposed so you won't know the truth.
4) I'm not joking that's the truth
5) Yeah western women will resist but how long can you do that? If your husband lockes you in a room, gives you no food, what are you gonna do?
6) Divorce is legal but first you need to complain in court which is impossible
@Stellastarling You are speaking for yourself. There are billion women in Westros :P.. All of them aren't smart as you
salil I'm indian too. what I would do is this. Not marry the guy cause my gut instinct would tell me something else. I wouldn't also go back to his country. I would stay in india.
@Stellastarling I repeat, you are speaking for yourself. Also if you are Indian I guess you are familiar with Love Jihad, aren't you?
I know. westros is a large country but still. There seems to be some kind of hatred stigma against muslims.
@Stellastarling lol. It is there all over the world. Bc of there behavior and terrorism spread by them. Not all Muslim are terrorists but many have that kind of mentality
I agree. I am speaking for myself. But there seems to be an extreme hatred for muslims in this country
how do you know? Have you gone and asked every single muslim that? some actually abhor the practice.
@Stellastarling yup. But what about Muslim countries? It is common in India but not in Muslim countries. They hang people for being atheist.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2502036-atheism-is-banned-in-13-countries-punishable-by-death-your-comment
www.google.co.in/search
yikes. Could never survive in a muslim country then😂
They throw gays off tall buildings.
you know right, thats why people aren't openly homosexual or atheists in their country?
yes, i am 15
that's why I put it as my age here
@Stellastarling because it's also against the law for gays to own parachutes
homosexuals can't own parachutes? are you sure you got that right?
@salilp exactly!
@Stellastarling alright. I'm trying to remember if I was ignorent as you or smart as you at 15 :P
@Stellastarling don't know but it defeats the purpose of throwing them off tall buildings
that was two years back. Plus I try my best not to be ignorant and know my stuff about such topics.
@Stellastarling lol. I did same. I used to try hard to gain knowledge about politics and religious at that time. Guess what I'm influencer in both of these topics :D
nice! I would like to do that too. Although I'm pretty good at relationship advice too. At least people think I am
@Stellastarling you are just 15!!! Prepare for your 10th grade board exams instead of advising people about relationships 0😁
oh please. I. can do both.
@Stellastarling actually you can't. We'll discuss about it other day
you're right. I should go study.
bye!
Only if you count the women's votes
well, you should count the women's vote. We're not second class citizens. women plus men. that's the point.
do you also see that not a single woman has. said yes? must mean they don't want that.
@Stellastarling calm down dear.
@Stellastarling There is no point arguing with him
I am calm. I'm pretty sure that you cannot tell my emotions through my words on text. Im just stating facts. Women don't want it. That's it.
@Stellastarling there's a little want in all of us.
about what? possible dominance throughout one's life?
@Stellastarling after watching a handmaid's tale I think that's the way to go. The women seem happier and more occupied
You seem to be mistaking 'husband' with 'controlling sadist'.
We're your forefathers controlling sadists?
How many African slaves did they own?
Yep white guilt
Dude most white folks never owned slaves.. less than 1% did.. only the rich and wealthy did... Do people really think that most whites have ancestors who owned slaves? It has always been about the rich and powerful stepping on the people below them they just used racist logic (the belief Africans were designed by god to work and be enslaved) to justify their evil so that they could sleep at night without nightmares of hell.
I think both parties should honour and respect each other, no woman or at least where I live would want a life where they have to treat their husband like loyalty out of expectation. Why get married if its basically like being a child again
Fuck that, hell would freeze over before that ever happens.
He'll freezes over when unmarried women hit 30 as far as I can see lol.
Be sure to keep him then it's a desert out there for divorced mothers over thirty.
It takes two to divorce, so it would be the same for guys! Not just an issue for women!
What country do you live in?
It takes give years with only one person consenting
46% agree
You mean 28%
28% male vote no
Victory? And how is your marriage going?
My idea is that the woman is the CIO to the man's CEO.
She has the information ready for her man to make an informed decision. Without her, he would just crumble under the stress of it all.
Then he's not strong-he isn't the alpha not dominant male
@fulloflife yeah like the captain's 1st mate
@fulloflife OK, no one is the real world uses those phrases.
Alpha and Omega?
Alpha and beta?
Dominate/dominant : dominant/submissive
Never heard of them? Get out more, hun
@fulloflife No one talks like that in the REAL WORLD. High school is NOT the real world, no matter how you feel about it.
Wtf. U think I don't live in the world? Just like there are trendy words in the real world, there are trendy words in the world. Don't underestimate me and don't belittle me. I go to college as well, I am dual enrolled at Broward College and am exposed to adults and their vernacular. Not just adults but Immigrants and people from all backgrounds. (Dual enrolled means I take free college credit classes at a college)
@fulloflife College students don't live in the real world also.
Real world is where you work with adults. I wouldn't even count certain retail jobs as RL
Go to work in any office and talk about alpha/beta stuff and see if it's doesn't get you looked at weird. You may find people who share you interest, but I'd be careful cuz people will throw you under a bus to keep their job.
No adult cares about that over trying to make a living.
I'm sorry what does this have to do with answering the question.
... by the way it's a community college meaning its not ur usual 18-25 it's a lot of people over that. I had a class with a man in his 40s
@fulloflife I've already answered the question, what are you doing? :D
Can we go back to never realizing each other exists?
@fulloflife you must obey.
To what or whom
I will not
@fulloflife to you husband and God
You will after a good spanking.
Wtf 😂😂😂😂 get out of here
@fulloflife You can try, but I will forever be burned into your memory.
Anytime you hear the word Dizzy, you will think of me.
Anytime you see my posts, you will think of me
Anytime you spin in a circle 5 times and fall down, you will think of me!!
I. Am. Forever.
I. Am. DizAster!!!
What's wrong with the both of u
@fulloflife Perhaps in the corner of your eye you’ll catch the illuminated faces of some women. Soak in the rapt attention they give to the spectacle before them. Before and after the screening, notice the excitement of groups of women, the emotions they express and the completely different vibe they give off. For them, this is no regular film and they’ll be treating it, irrespective of whether they’re not dressed up, as a festive occasion. This is their psychology and fantasies they are paying to see.
Most potently, when you pay to watch this film, as the women are, you are paying to watch patriarchy in action. The film may be set in “our time” but the world that Anastasia must make herself enter represents her deep-seated patriarchal dreams and cravings. And that forms a mirror reflecting the primal desires of all normal women.
Fifty Shades of Grey doesn’t just incapacitate feminism. It ties it up, flogs it, and chokes it unconscious.
@fulloflife :D
I agree on the fifty shades /feminism
@fulloflife I don't get women. They get upset with Trump stating that Goldiggers want him to grab them by the pussy while it's ok for Christian grey to control, abuse and rape Anna Steele or how about twilight in which an older man basically groom's a young girl and controls her.
Well, Grey and those Vamps are fictional.
Trump is an actual person.
No one likes actual sexual assaulter.
Bill Clinton. All Trump said was that gold diggers are mad for rich men, it's not exactly shocking.
That's girl sucked his dick. I have a hard time believing you are assaulted when your teeth are in proximity of the penis.
Paula Corbin Jones (born Paula Rosalee Corbin; September 17, 1966) is a former Arkansas state employee who sued U. S. President Bill Clinton for sexual harassment. The Paula Jones case precipitated Clinton's impeachment in the House of Representatives and the subsequent acquittal by the Senate on February 12, 1999. Charges of perjury and obstruction of justice were brought against Clinton. Eventually, the court dismissed the Paula Jones harassment lawsuit, before trial, on the grounds that Jones failed to demonstrate any damages. However, while the dismissal was on appeal, Clinton entered into an out-of-court settlement by agreeing to pay Jones $850,000 (equivalent to $1,250,000 in 2016).
Oh my god, I don't care.
So conservative sexual assault bad but liberal sexual assault good?
Old settled shit is bad, non victimized shit is meh.
I mean Trump said that, but no one came to claim that he assaulted her, if she did, she'd probably be bought off.
These women don't seek justice, just compensation.
Like with Bill Cosby?
Still don't think he did it.
I mean ALL this time, he has lost his show, he had lost his son, he was working with children (if those ladies were so worried) and all this time nothing?
Now, it's time?
Also, I liked how his crimes escalated like a soap opera, like it was scripted.
I mean come on.
He also admitted to it. It's easy to get an old man to admit anything when you can threaten his family's livelihood, ya know.
But if he did do it, and the ladies took the money, then they are nothing more than hookers collection interest pay.
It could be that but then again look at Jimmy Saville. Celebrities are protected while their on top and their tv shows, films, music, sports are making money and are practically untouchable but as soon as they stop making their owners money like horses they are sent to make glue.
Yup. That is a true statement.
Well... This escalated pretty quickly.
I don't think anyone should obey somebody else at any case, except if that's what they both wish. Love and respect should be shared not only in marriage, but in any relationship by both parties.
:/ :/ :/ There are few men I consider worth to submit, in other cases I'm dominant. After all, in family I'd rather be equal instead of a leader or follower. We should go side by side.
In a word: NOPE! Certainly not OBEY and BE SUBMISSIVE!
In fact HONOUR is outdated.
Just LOVE and RESPECT is enough.
Honour will never be outdated.
Honour in the case of married men and women means to be faithful. Here are some other ways.
1. Treat him like a treasured friend.
2. Don’t correct him like a child
3. Put him and your children before all others
4. Forgive him as he forgives you
5. Praise his contributions to your household
It's always interesting to see the difference in answers from a girl vs. guy
I broke up with a girl because she made clear she didn't care what I thought and would not listen. She was surprisingly pretty bummed about it, but I felt okay.
If I were that way, I'd be in world of hurt right now, miserably hating myself.
The question is from the Bible and yes I agree to it and so does my wife. You have to read it to understand.
Well, I'm the dominant one while my boyfriend is the submissive one.
No obey isn't cool she's a person not a pet but i would ask for honesty and loyalty thats all
Kinda like the obey part. I like it when he puts me in my place usually with a good spankbang
As long as he is loyal and not bad at making decisions then yes.
I think it is about what you believe, who you are, and who you are with.
I do not believe in dominance and submission.
I would kill myself if i had to do that
Yes, absolutely. If not it will fail.
No. .
Yes...
Most of life can be. Unless your skydiving and snowboarding everyday
Rather mean lol. It's just my views.
Yes she should be totally submissive like a slave
I'm a wife, not a doormat
Nor should u be just as long as u honour and obey
I'm not a puppy either. My husband and I are equal, and we treat each other as equals.
@KatherineJ well. She honours and obey me. Men and women are equal but different
Of course she does...
A resounding NO!!
See this is why we need to make a handmaids tale a reality lol
@cipher42 chill honey. It was just a joke and that show is just feminist porn
stay in Saudi arabia
No it's the 21th century, things have changed
People haven't.
You'd be suprised how traditional people really are behind their progressive mask.
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