Should a wife submit to and obey her husband?

Question

This is what the Bible says but religion or not, should she submit and obey?

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

I believe that yes, a woman should respect and honor her husband. But the verses relating to how a woman should act are often misused by husbands who do none of the things they're supposed to be doing, and using it out of context as reason to keep her (and often the kids) down. What many refuse to learn or see, even when pointed out, is that there are plenty of verses on how a husband who is a follower of Jesus is supposed to treat his wife and children.

As we are referring to the wife / husband dynamic, here are a few verses. I think that in an idealized "Christian" home, that, yes, there should be a dynamic of a wife trusting her husband, going with him when he's trying to make the best decisions for the family. BUT - this also comes with the man leading the household, loving and protecting his family, and doing what is wise for them. I don't believe this also gives freedom from (loving) arguments & disagreements. She has a right to voice her opinion.

I see it constantly where people are just in general very disrespectful to their mates, so an idea of a wife respecting a decision (and a man respecting and loving his wife AND being a leader of sorts, that the concept is pretty foreign, and some would yell that it's sexist.

Of course, respecting, honoring and obeying have different contexts in different cultures, and generations.
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Colossians 3:19 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
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1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
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Ephesians 5:33 ESV

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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Genesis 2:24 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Guys - don't be a mamas boy if mama is dead wrong on something.

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Philippians 2:4 ESV

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

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Ephesians 5:21 ESV

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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Hope this gives you some food for thought.

TravisG · Accepted Answer

That would be nice. The husband shouldn't abuse it but, I think it would save a lot of marriages or even relationship if a man felt like the man in a relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As a theist who is loosely Christian and has read the entire Bible, as well as other religious texts from various faiths.

I believe more in the spirit of the Bible, as a collection of anecdotes, history and indirect interpretations of interpretations. A lot of the gender instructions come from Paul, who was not so much in favor of marriage at all when it could be avoided.
I don't believe in the infallibility of Church personalities, though this is what we're "supposed" to believe. But there have been too many obvious examples that this is not true.

Anyway, I believe the basic spirit of the New Testament is to love one another, forgive, be fair and kind, be moderate and humble, seek enlightenment over riches or fame, share, perform your work without grumbling, have faith in God and the savior Jesus Christ (himself an icon of these virtues).

candyaurora · Accepted Answer

According to Islam, yes the husband is supposed to be the head of the household (not dictator!) and he is supposed to be loving, caring and respectful towards his wife and children. So it is only fair that he is respected back and has a final say. But even in that he is supposed to consult and cooperate with his wife!
"And those who have responded to their lord and established prayer and whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves, and from what We have provided them, they spend." Holy Quran 42:38.

Kris85 · Accepted Answer

No. I'm fine being the one handling the bills and decisions and everything else. I'm a control freak that way though and I'm the one that controls the money and where it goes. He just brings it in and hands it over. That's the way it was when I was married. He was more than fine with letting me run the household.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I think those types of statements in the Bible must be understood in the context of the culture that existed when the Bible was written. Most Christians today do not expect a wife to be subservient. I consider myself to be a Christian and I want a wife who is an equal partner.

dartmaul15 · Answer

let me guess, the old testament? Leviticus? Or deuteronomy?

It also say we're not supposed to mix different kinds of fabric.
- leviticus 19.19

And that phsics, wizards, and so on are to be stoned. That means all scienists
- levitius 20.27

and that we're not allowed to cut our hair or shave
-leviticus 19.27

and that anyone cursing (at) their mother or father is to be killed
-leviticus 20.9

and that anyone cursing or blaspheming god is to be stoned by society
-leviticus 24.14-16

and anyone suggesting converting or leaving christianity is to be killed
- Deuteronomy 13:6-10

and that christians are to kill everyone (including the animals) in towns worshiping different religions
-Deuteronomy 13:12-15

and that you're to kill anyone with a different religion
-Deuteronomy 17:2-7

and that we're not supposed to be fat
-leviticus 3.17

you know what? just read more or less everything leviticus wrote!

And just for the hell of it, one last funny quote;
"She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." -Ezekiel 23.20
Yep, that's actually a bible quote. Look it up if you don't believe me

KHaskins · Answer

Wash: You and Zoe have been in plenty of situations like this before, right?

Mal: Many a' time.

Wash: Many a' time, you and Zoe.

Mal: At least we know who it was took us-

Wash: Zoe and you. Together, in a tricky...[beat] Mal, she's my WIFE!

Mal: Huh?

Wash: What gives you the right to put her in a dangerous situation like this?

Mal: I didn't!

Wash: You did!

Mal: She ain't here, Wash!

Wash: No, but she would've been!

Mal: Okay...

Wash: I mean, I'm the one that she swore to love, honor, and obey!

Mal: Listen, if— [surprised] She swore to obey?

Wash: Well, no... not— [beat] But that's just my point! You, she obeys! She obeys you. There's obeying going on right under my nose!

Mal: Look, Zoe and I have a history— she trusts me.

Wash: What's that supposed to mean?

Mal: Don't mean a thing, but you're making out like she blindly follows my every word; that ain't true.

Wash: Sure it is.

Mal: Not so. There's plenty orders of mine that she didn't obey.

Wash: Name one!

Mal: She married YOU!

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. It's just the way it should be. Let him feel like a man. That doesn't mean you have to listen to everything he says, but that does mean you should have a certain respect for your husband. Especially women who want to be stay at home moms while he is at work.

Theshaft169 · Answer

Well most girls love being dominated and love to submit and be used by there man.
They like to be degraded , disrespected and made to do some real submissive things all in enjoyment behind closed doors.

They just don't want or like to be disrespected in public. Any other times it's what they like.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think so.
" bring me another beer bitch "
" yes sir right away "
Lmao.

XtraJordanary · Answer

Keep in mind, in the Bible it ALSO says that the man should treat the woman as Christ treated the church. So, as the woman submits, the man (in agreement) should put her needs first...

That's the purpose of submission: cooperation and humility, not control and power.

Hans222 · Answer

No, of course not. That statement in the bible is outdated nonsense. It's one of the things that while the Catholic belief evolves, should disappear. No discrimination based on gender. Also the prohibition for ladies to become priest should disappear. That rule as well does not belong in 2015!

Anonymous · Answer

you have to make sure you're not taking it out of context it means a wife should respect her husband but its not saying that he is controlling or anything like that she respects him he respects her they both love each other and he is the man in the relationship, he takes the lead but that doesn't mean he is a sexist

Anonymous · Answer

Actually, some degree of submission and obedience is required of both husband and wife within a marriage.

If the Bible tells women to submit, it also tells men to love their wives which would mean never abusing or taking advantage of her obedience to him.

BillieJean1070 · Answer

a man shall leave his mother
And a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one
As it was in the begining
It is now until the end
Woman draws her life from man
Then gives it back again

MrShinyPants · Answer

Yes, but the bible also says for a man to care for his wife and tend to her needs, its not a one way street like most people misunderstand, a woman should tend to the husband and as the husband is head of the house hold he should tend to his wife's needs and care for his children, so it goes both ways

ConsultantIsBack · Answer

I think there's a verse in Corinthians something to the effect of both Man and Woman are equal in the Lord.
Either way, I think Men and Women should be equal in a relationship. No one is better or less than the other, both are lucky to have each other.

SmoMan · Answer

The bible says all kinds of fucked up shit. If half the stuff I read was true I would be a millionaire with a 10 foot penis by now judging by all the spam mail I get.

Anonymous · Answer

Qur'an (4:34) - "Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property. So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them."

HaveNoName · Answer

You only "submit" to God. As for husband, she should respect every REASONABLE and humane demand of her husband. But if she feels he is being unreasonable, she has every right to get out of the relationship.

BTW: I am not quoting the Bible. I don't follow the Bible.

EthaParez · Answer

I think all relationships are differing. I am not the submissive type most the time. So if a guy tries to boss me around I will not let him. My relationship is pretty equal. However in the bedroom we switch dominance.

serious · Answer

Yes, if she wants to submit and obey her husband out of her own free will then she can do that. It's her personal choice.

RedThread · Answer

Hell no! I love when a woman challenges me in the relationship. I love when there's compromise and I love when there's a deep bond of trust and communication.

iamshelly · Answer

If that's what you want for your marriage, then all the power to you. That's now what I want for me, though.

TheGuyFromMiddleEast · Answer

They both should submit to each other, rather than "having their voices" or one submitting and obeying another.

Prof_Don · Answer

If the man is trustworthy in a decision-making role, I say yes.

The issue is that most men these days, aren't deserving or trustworthy to be that primary decision maker and leader in the relationship dynamic!

karahiri · Answer

well, if all his ideas are awesome, i'd have no problem agreeing with all of his ideas.

Alecu · Answer

Be a team together. Two heads are better than one at making decisions. But don't overdo it or emasculate your husband.

Ellarabbaa1 · Answer

Noo never and every guy who imposes or forces something to his women is a piece of shit like what do you think yourself? i do what i want whenever i want, god gave everything im not supposed to obey him for something he can do and im not a servant

KRIEL55 · Answer

im religious too but i think that is CRAZY. there is noo way im going to obey another human just because he's, well, a he. a man.

LuckyLittleLucy · Answer

If she wants to. If she doesn't, then don't. Let each individual/couple decide for themselves I guess...

9mfeo · Answer

If that's what you believe, you're free to do so.  That's not what I believe and not what I want for my life.

DiegoL82 · Answer

No, a wife doesn't have to submit or obey to her husband as a husband doesn't have to submit to his wife.

martyfellow · Answer

He hee heee, har har har har..(gasp) That's a good one, Juuey. Any other jokes in the Bible?

KatherineJ · Answer

I submit to my husband in the bedroom. Everything else is negotiable. We are equal partners in our marriage.

DudeWithAHotWife · Answer

To be clear, it does say she should submit, but it does not say obey.

A-Y-Y-Y--L-M-A-O · Answer

im christian and i dont believe that. women shouldn't be treated as slaves; no one should.

Anonymous · Answer

The bible says all kinda stuff including killing non believers. Does it mean we should? Of course not

Anonymous · Answer

God didn't say that. The authors who wrote that scripture said that because that was the societal custom at the time.

Omar5881 · Answer

So as the husband should obey his wife that's in Islam anyway I don't know about ur relgion

CheerGirl38139 · Answer

That's only part of that Bible verse. It's very commonly taken out of context, as you have here. It's a two way street. If anyone wants to know more, Ill be happy to elaborate 📖

Waffles731 · Answer

Nope, Its another reason I turned away from organized religion

googlydancer · Answer

i guess she better obey, or be made to obey haha

canistan · Answer

haha... yes, cos people need to "contribute" which is very Biblical... hahahaha.. most people don't follow the Bible consistently duuuh.,

HookingSwan · Answer

Only if wives were meant to be slaves and not people, which i'm sure they are not This question is stupid

jmmmfi2 · Answer

I mean I'm not super religious or anything but yeah absolutely she should I mean that's her place, to do what she's told.

Anonymous · Answer

That was in the olden days, The world has moved on, In those days, it was the norm

Anonymous · Answer

yes. man is the head of the family and woman the heart and pillar the keeps the head attached.

lumos · Answer

Only if that's what she wants.

Jxpxtxr · Answer

Lol if she enjoys living like a slave, then yes.

FrenchEmma · Answer

Two words : Fuck that

SolitaireBond · Answer

Most definitely not.. Period.

Julie-lydia9 · Answer

As a pastor's daughter I have to say yes

Anonymous · Answer

Not if you don't want to, you have a say too.

abc--123 · Answer

Depends on wether she has married an idiot or not

lovelyxoxogurl · Answer

What century are you from?

biguyct · Answer

in a sub dom relationship they do

Moi75 · Answer

Yes she has to unless he treat her bad !

Anonymous · Answer

Supposedly in the eastern traditions

93stepsawayfromhome · Answer

No, she shouldn't.

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