I feel bad... I know I was wrong?

[Shytown410]

My husband seem upset with me. But this situation is really small to cuss. I just needed money for Uber to go to my prenatal appointment. I already had his card information and he know I don't have transportation right now. Do you think he over did it?

[SteveSmith1985]

This is not what I expected to find when I clicked on this question.

So, the thing that jumps out at me right away is... your tendency towards blaming yourself. The way you're so meek and apologetic. It's concerning to be honest. I'm sure that your life experiences are responsible for that. I'm genuinely sorry you've been through whatever you've been through. I have no clue what's going on... but feel such pity for you.

So, I'll be honest. This situation and what happened here, is no mystery to me. This is super-easy-to-read. And it makes my heart hurt.

First of all: YOU WEREN'T WRONG HERE? FEEL BAD?

Ok I really don't know what sorts of mental-gymnastics were required for you to somehow feel like you were wrong.

A pregnant woman asking to borrow $25 dollars for transportation to a doctors appointment. Now... that is literally the "least wrong" situation in which to ask your husband for money.

Also... to be clear... YOUR HUSBAND also didn't feel like you were 'wrong'. You decided that all by yourself!

How you can "feel bad" for asking is something that makes no sense. Nobody should feel bad for this. How you've twisted things to somehow feel like you're in the wrong... is concerning (since... it's so objectively obvious that you weren't wrong for asking).

But again, your husband WAS NOT upset because you asked for the money. He never IN ANY WAY objected to the money part.

He was fine with giving you the money. He was frustrated because, although he had no problem sending you the money... you weren't telling him WHERE TO SEND IT. I mean... yes... he was kind of a dick about it, but still.

So while all he needed to know was "ok, how do I get you the money". You ignored that while acting as though he said "no". But... he DIDN'T say 'no'. He said "yes, but where do I send it".

I can appreciate how it would be frustrating to watch you respond like he was saying 'no' (what do you mean he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to... he said "ok").

Then even afterwards. you've somehow twisted this situation in your mind, to the point that you "feel bad" and "know you were wrong"? But... ALL THAT IS ALL YOU!!!

Nobody else thinks (or thought) you were wrong. But because you seemed to INSIST that he MUST think you're wrong for asking (when he didn't)... and wouldn't just tell him where to send the money he got frustrated.

I really hope that it's not your husband who is responsible for your being so ready to twist things into somehow being "you in the wrong". I hope you start to be more fair to yourself. You don't deserve to go through life blaming yourself for things needlessly. Life's hard enough already.

I hope your baby is happy and healthy. Best of luck. 🙂

[Googlemyahoo]

Send to where? Cash app

you reply, “No I have an appointment tomorrow.”

Just say what you want/who/what/where

Hi hows it going honey can you send me cash for an uber?

or …. Before the appointment maybe have the money ready? 😑

[Anonymous]

So 2 things…

1. The way he speaks to you is wrong and not ok. It’s abusive. I highly doubt this is the first or only time he talked to you like that or you had conflicts like this, so you need to go to couples counselling. If this proceeds though you need to divorce him because you don’t deserve to be talked to like that and your children definitely shouldn’t have to grow up hearing their dad treat their mom like shit or the two of you arguing like that. You need to set a good example for your kids. If you accept this you teach your sons it’s ok to treat women like that and you teach your daughters it’s ok if a man treats them like shit and they should just accept it and stay anyway. You teach both soms and daughters it’s normal to talk to your partner and fight like that, which it is not.

2. Why didn’t you just answer his question? His question was very clear - where should he send the money? But instead of answering where he should send it to (or explaining you already have his card) you act like he questioned why or said no. He did neither. He was immediately ready to give you the money not even knowing what it was for, he just wanted to know where to send the money. The way you’re acting is frustrating, even to me just reading that and not even knowing you. You should have just read what he actually said and answered the question.

[Anonymous]

okay, i see where both of you are coming from. but he did act very rude, actually completely verbally abusive after that. not sure why you didn't answer to where to send it to also. seems like a miscommunication. could have called him to clear anything up. maybe make it clear to what you need in the first text. one and done.

but to answer to your original question, yes he overdid it.

[Guy13]

You should not be apologizing from what I’m reading. Especially trying to take care of his seed-you teo chikd 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Anonymous]

I can totally see why you're frustrated with him. I'm getting a pretty insecure vibe here, but speaking that harshly is sort of feeding into that weird energy he's giving off too. He's speaking almost as if he was expecting to be berated, so actually doing that is the exact opposite of what you should do. Did he have a rough childhood or something? Either way, I dont think getting that worked up ever solves anything