Why do I feel bad about this?

[Jessicat1990]

This guy at work fancies me. I arranged to meet up with him (I feel bad about cancelling) but I cancelled then I went out with my friends instead. I couldn’t face him so I told him not to talk to me. He is always sweet to me he gives me chocolate or compliments me (it’s genuine) I had to go to the hospital and none of my friends visited or checked on me only the guy from work. He is loyal to me. He caught someone talking bad about me and he stuck up for me (He doesn’t know I know)

Updates

1 y

When I told him not to talk to me he stopped talking so I moaned to his boss that he wouldn’t talk to me. He is a sweet guy but he is a bit of a nerd.

[misogynistic_pig]

It's normal to feel bad or uncomfortable when you see someone with whom you have or have had some kind of romantic or emotional relationship, especially if that person is with someone else and seems to be enjoying their company.

These feelings may be a reflection of your own insecurities, fears, or unfulfilled expectations in the relationship.

It is important that you identify what you feel and why you feel it.

Ask yourself if you are really jealous or if you are hurt by the way you found out or the way the situation played out.

It is also important to remember that feelings are valid and you should not repress them.

It is necessary to accept and process them to overcome them.

If these feelings are affecting your daily life and emotional well-being, it may help to seek support from close friends or a mental health professional.

A therapist can help you explore your feelings and provide you with tools to overcome them and move forward in your life.

[Anonymous]

That’s simple, it’s natural to feel bad after cancelling plans with someone, particularly if you feel that they have been kind and loyal to you. It's possible that you may be feeling guilty about cancelling because you value his friendship and appreciate the ways in which he has been supportive of you.

It's important to communicate openly and honestly with him about how you're feeling, even if it's difficult. You can apologize for cancelling and let him know that you appreciate his kindness and support. It's also important to be clear about your boundaries and expectations going forward, particularly if you're not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how to handle the situation and what feels right for you. Just remember to treat him with kindness and respect, and to be honest about your feelings and intentions.

[RavVid]

I think he deserves a little more back from you but not suggesting that includes fathering your children. I take it you're not into that. There is no reason you can't say you want his friendship but you are carving out anything associated with the fathering aspect.

[Jessicat1990]

He will probably reject me as the way I’ve treated him.

[RavVid]

I wouldn't assume that unless you have been extremely rude and said you want ten yards distance at all times.

[Spongebobssocks]

You feel bad cause you are being an asshole and you know it deep down. I mean seriously you cancel last minute and tell the boss he can't talk to you. You said yes at the first place. Now you put him in a horrible situation esspecially as a man because you can ruin a whole man's life by just calling him a creep.

If I were you I'd contact him and apologize say your friend got into the hospital and needed to help her. And say you aren't intressted but you are thankful for the offer. And then I would go to the boss and say everything is good it was just a missunderstanding.

You made a bad desistion we all have so have I myself. You just try to make it right and move on. I wish you the best of luck!

[mobiusforniner]

A woman did the same thing to me that you did to him. Short story, it confused the hell out of me. I genuinely loved her- not to get into her pants, not to lead her on; but because I only wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to feel she had someone beside her and she wasn't alone.

She, like you, was very codependent. She would push me away. I'd respect her feelings and stop talking to her. Then, like you, she would drop "bread crumbs" to keep me hanging on and would become upset if I didn't talk to her.

You feel bad because inwardly your heart beats hard for him. You want to deny it. You want to believe you don't need him. Your behaviors mirror what is called the "avoidant" attachment style. It suggests you have internal conflicts you need to heal yourself.

[Vikkrram]

I can really feel the pain of that guy. The worst feeling is the feeling of not getting included wid someone , who really tries to ignores you for no reason , Personally been there at that place. It hurts ma'am but you always have to put up a smile and pretend that everything is ok.

[TalynMere]

What specifically do you feel bad about? Ignoring, abusing, and confusing an innocent guy? Yeah, that little tiny distant voice at the back of your head making you feel back is called "empathy".

If you don't like him, tell him. You made plans with him, then cancelled, then complained to his boss. You obviously aren't attracted to him, but you sound like a serial abuser who sucks the life out of everyone who treats you kindly.

[Legendarylegacy13]

I hate to call you a asshole. You told him not to talk to you after he did all of that stuck up for you came to give emotional support while you were in the hospital then you stood him up. And complained to his boss that he wouldn't talk to you after you told him not to. Cause you wanted his attention. Wait till he gets somebody that cares about him and gives them attention. Watch how jealous you get. *****

[MementoMori777]

Dont let guilt ruin this for you, sounds like a possible soulmate

[D_Bone_Steak]

I used to be like that guy. Can you guess what has slowly changed me into a complete asshole?

Lots of chicks just like you.

[ColHathi]

Are you asking why you feel bad about mistreating him?

[TalynMere]

Yeah this question is fucking bizzare. "I do nothing but gaslight this guy and fuck with his life, why do I feel bad?"

[mark000h]

Because you did a shitty thing. If you didn't want to go out, you should have told him to his face.

[Jamie05rhs]

Do you want him to talk to you or not? Make up your mind!

[mommymommy]

If you are not into him, do not lead him on

It is a bad idea to date coworkers, ALWAYS

[Anonymous]

If you're not into him, you're not into him

[Jessicat1990]

None of my friends came to visit me in hospital only the guy from work.

[Opinion Owner]

That doesn’t mean you have to date him. he's being a good friend/coworker

[Anonymous]

You have nothing to feel bad about.

[Jessicat1990]

I’ve treated him badly to be honest.

[spartan55]

Wow, you sound like a shitty person.