My girlfriend has decided to stop following certain people on insta, but why do I feel bad about it?

[Anonymous]

So quick back story, my girlfriend and myself agreed not to follow models or certain people on insta who do anything sexual. As it just causes issues in relationships and makes the partner feel bad about themselves. She has felt the same having a boyfriend in the past who followed prnstars and models.

Fast forward and she hasn't gone through her list and unfollowed previous people, before you say anything we follow each other on insta as she would like to and I would, rather than just not follow each other. I got recommended additional friends who she followed, one of which was sexual and made me feel uncomfortable and the other of course random guy showing off his pecks in almost every photo which just made me feel bad (yes I know insecurity I probably have to work on)

Either way we are good at communicating, I explained and she said she sees why it would make me feel that way if she was in my shoes and I was the one following models etc. Said it was old accounts and that she wants to go through them with me and delete them. I have to admit I have the most amazing girlfriend and glad she is happy to do this.

However at the same time, I don't know I feel kind of bad as it is her insta account, I told her it's just a problem with my insecurity, obviously not her fault in anyway at all and she isn't obliged to, she just told me she would feel the same, loves me and is happy to do so.

Is there any reason I should still feel slightly bad about it? Or just be happy I've got an amazing girlfriend and just let it happen?

Updates

1 y

Just posting an update, Insta screwed up and turned out he was just following her. She explained she used to date the guy and dated him for a couple of weeks but he was mean, possessive and even flew to England for 5 days to ask her daily to be his, took photos while he was there posted them on insta, and even with his new girlfriend seems to be stalker my girlfriend on insta, she didn't realise he was following her again, as its a different account and blocked him

[OddBeMe]

Are you getting off on these models?
And feel guilty about it?

[Asker]

? I said I don't follow any, I respect it

[OddBeMe]

So you’re feeling guilty that you ruined her instagramming?

[Asker]

Guess so slightly, at the same time... since posting this, found this weird guy who has literally a shrine of him and my girlfriend from a year ago and i mean literally no other pictures apart from 2 random ones recently posted, still are following each other, she hasn't ever mentioned him in the whole relationship, the profile by itself is weird right? At the same time I don't want to ask as if it is an ex/someone she dated, we promised to delete them as they usually are the ones to cause issues in the relationship, if she hasn't she basically lied to me when she said she has

[Asker]

Am I overstepping my boundaries by bringing that one up?

[OddBeMe]

Why not? I think it’s your right to ask. She would certainly ask of it were vice versa. Just be cool about it and don’t demand anything. Yet anyway.

[Asker]

Thanks will do, I mean it's really freaky first time I hear of the guy and its just full on pictures of them two and nothing else... I mean if it was just a friend, he wouldn't have a plaster of just them two together on his insta unless they were besties and doesn't seem they are

[OddBeMe]

It really sounds like you guys have some communication issues. I’ve been married 15 years so take my dating advice like salt. But my wife and I bicker, talk about pretty people, past relationships, etc. Took time to get there. That level of communication requires work.

And I’m not saying your relationship is broken if you have comm issues. That’s extremely common. Just how you handle it matters.

[OddBeMe]

If it’s a former boyfriend who’s she still chatting online with, that gonna bother you?

[Asker]

Honestly if it is then yes... we had a discussion, said we would get rid of ex's etc. From social media and I went and did just that... if she hasn't, then it's no different from lying to me about doing it or it's been one sided

[OddBeMe]

Yeah, if you both agreed to that then it could be an issue. How easy would it be to forgive her?

[Asker]

I mean it would mean a slight loss of trust for a while... not going to lie, I think any lie after a promise would cause that. If she deletes him without arguing its fine as that's what we both had agreed on. If it causes and argument of course I'll feel a lot less happy about it

[Asker]

so since posting about the guy, we had a convo the other day about another guy which she understood why it upset me if she was in my shoes, since this morning she has quietly deleted the zaythor guy without explaining who he is or any mention of him... but mentioned the other accounts she got rid of... is it bad that just makes me feel a bit sus

[OddBeMe]

Suspicious? Yeah if she refuses to tell that story of how she knows him. That seems weird.

I do like that she empathized with your position and saw she made a mistake. Shouldn’t be overlooked.

Maybe let it simmer for a while and then ask offhand who it was. If she gets cagey, ask about the reaction. The issue here seems to be why she doesn’t want it be honest with you. Doesn’t really matter who this other guy is.

[flirtatiousgirl]

You don't like her