Is marriage worth the risks for men?

[msc545]

Updates

+1 y

in the us, men get ruined by marriage. They lose their houses their property their money and worst of all their children because of bias in the courts bias in the laws and feminist attitudes among judges. No sane man gets married or has children with a woman in this country anymore. For the men that thinks that all they have to do is find the right woman, they are gambling with their lives quite literally.

[LazerBean]

It is for some men. But for men who let their penises pick their partner and do all the thinking, it is not.

[msc545]

Given the pervasive bias against men in society and especially the bias in the courts and in social media against men, marriage is simply not worth the risk.

[SpokenTruth]

msc545 BINGO!

[WhitneySnow]

I thought you were progressive. Or am I confusing you with somebody else?

[msc545]

In terms of civil rights and being anti-war, I am progressive. In terms of ignoring dangers to men and keeping quiet about them I am not.

[WhitneySnow]

Thanks for MHO

[Guy13]

Marriage, as does everything else in life, requires commitment and an "I'm stuck" attitude. Knowing that the other person will not waiver and is determined to make it work is paramount. So yes, marriage is worth the risk if one is careful in selecting their partners. There are economic benefits such as joint medical, tax reduction, longer life, inheritance, and a life partner to thrive with us through our struggles.

[Qdbrown]

It's very risky these days. It's not hate of women to be scared. Women cheat and divorce way more than men (Although when women cheat to find a new relationship, they don't consider that cheating). In fact women initiate divorce around 70% of the time. If she is college educated that number goes to 90%. What dumb guy would risk at thoze odds?

And it gets worse. Women know the authories will believe anything they say. I know anecdotal, my my neighbor's son got charge with aggrevated assault when his wife got mad at her husband, his son, and she took a coffee mug and beat her face with it. He is now serving a seven year term in prison.

Women beat up on men way more now... How many actually get into any serious trouble? I have heard of stories where the police get called on a domestic. They get there and find a guy beaten and bloody, not not a scratch on the woman, while she holding a weapon, like a knife or baseball bat, and they arrest the guy for assault.

And why would a guy set himself up to have to pay child support to not be with kids he may not want to lose? Or pay a lifetime of alimony for a woman who nearly makes as much, or more money that he makes? Each divorce case is unique, but the system is stacked against guys in general.

There are divorces that the guy comes out ahead. Sometimes a higher paid wife will have to pay child support, but this is rare. To date not one woman has ever been put in jail over back child support. Some guys evade support as well, but the system doesn't care if a woman goes into arrears. If man goes into arrears, he also pays interest and will have it removed from taxes and retirement accounts when he retires. No woman has ever been forced to pay, by the courts. That's very unfair.

The other hidden secret of many women is paternity fraud. Having another man's baby, and passing it off as her husband's, not telling him the truth, and letting him spend a lifetime of support and resources on kids that are not his, but has his surname. Most of these women do not consider it cheating and the courts do not care. They agree kids need a paying father, wheather he knows it or not...

And to add insult, many women divorce today just getting bored of being married. Some are actually married to toxic guys, but most married the first guy who would offer marriage. She likely lost the man of her dreams, and you were her second pick, often being picked for your access to resources. Not how she really feels about her man of her dreams. This makes it easier for her to leave when a slightly more exciting guy shows up. And if her dream guy comes a knocking, she will walk out of her marriage that night.

[lightbulb27]

Is surfing worth the risk when there's unknown predators in the water? For some it is, there is "worth"... you just mitigate your risks as you build the skills.

No-one can answer that but each person looking at what they want their life to be. Trouble is, their prior experience can distort their view. You have to take a higher view. Go "up the mountain" and meditate a while, what life should be like... No doubt, relationships can hurt goth parties, but they can be a wonderful mechanism for growth and life more fulfilled.

There is no denying our makeup... to find love and a mate to reproduce with. Reproducing is the only fountain of youth there is... you pass on your genetics... your body knows that it's days are numbered here.

I think you have to go in with the right heart and mindset, and choose wisely. If your "chooser" is screwed up, then you own fixing it. That mindset is that you have something to give, to love, to share... possibly build a family and that is worth the risk. You then work to mitigate the risks. There's no guarantees.

There's always creatures that are out for themselves, stay away from the dangerous ones. They become obvious as you wisen up...

I've seen both men and women suffer when things changed or when their partner ran into issues. I can't say it was one side or the other that lost, all sufferred. For sure the women have a lot of power relative to the past and guys in those scenarios need a lot of support so they don't make dumb mistakes in the emotional moments. We really need men's support in society, it's a lonely place to be when you lose it all. Hopefully, the good and the growth far outweigh any difficulties.

I've seen quite a few marriages and divorces. Most divorces occurred in my generation and later, the generation before seemed to stay married and stick it out. Our generation... when something changes or they reach challenges, someone hits the eject button. It's sad because in hindsight, the change required was often "ripe", but people don't like to change... if they had only worked through it their life story would be much different. Live and learn.

Everything is a tradeoff. Life is easier on your own in terms of some risks since you only deal with yourself. But, you can't deny the voice inside saying there is something more. Fear is a terrible master that limits ones opportunities, love will get you somewhere else...

So keep surfing while the waves are good...

[msc545]

One popular definition of insanity that is not entirely wrong is this:

Insanity is when you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.

[lightbulb27]

That's most people sadly...
If the association is to "marriage"... then one would cast out marriage.
If the association is to ones own choices and behavior, that has merit. But people can't see themselves so well and they don't like to change. Our ego's wall ourselves into a sense of security, like the insane in a padded room... they have comfort.

[exitseven]

@lightbulb27 Who knew you were so astute?

[lightbulb27]

@exitseven ty! I have my creative moments...

[lightbulb27]

It's all a waste of ink though... just "banging on a turtle shell with a stick".

[whirled_up_girl]

I guess every man has to decide that for himself and weigh the risks with the benefits. What I don’t understand is one side assuming the worse about everyone in a particular group, be it gender, race, religion, profession, political party etc. I understand you and other men have had bad experiences and if you can find happiness where you are in life by remaining single that’s great! However, are you really happy, or are you just avoiding misery by doing that? Are you 100 percent sure that the next relationship would lead to misery or might it be worth the risk to find out? You don’t have to answer that question here of course but that’s a question I ask myself sometimes.

[exitseven]

I know what you are talking about. I knew hundreds of cops and a lot of them were divorced. I think a lot of it was their own fault but anyway most of these guys made good money and they all wound up living in a crummy apartment with two other divorced cops. One cop told me that the judge he went before was the one that the only thing she hated more than men was cops.

It is sort of a crap shoot. Sorry it went so bad for you.

[SnowedIn]

Marriage is worth the risk for anyone willing to put in the work. The same way that a lot of things are worth their risk.

[NachtjaegerSS]

You are assuming women are willing to put in the work when statistics show they are clearly not.

[Anonymous]

Half of marriages end in divorce, women initiate 80% of them and the number 1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment. That means a man who gets married has a 40% chance his wife will divorce him, and the reason will likely be that she has no sense of commitment. That is what is destroying marriage today.

To answer your question, in the majority of cases marriage is no longer worth the risk to men.

[LiamJHayden]

Under current no-fault laws, absolutely not, especially if the guy has more assets and greater earning potential.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Absolutely not

LOL @ women saying " it's risky for women too" 😂😂 the court disagrees with y'all.

[Anonymous]

Nothing risked nothing gained.

Marraige is a risk for women too.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is risky for women too, in some ways even more so.

[SpokenTruth]

Such as? Name one thing that marriage disadvantages women with.

[boggboss]

Its the same as its ever been to be honest

[Anonymous]

Oh boy here come the I hate women train. Women are taking a big risk just like men are. You know it goes both ways but yet only putting the blame on women…lol typical! This is why men like you are single

[SpokenTruth]

Maybe because the risks pertains to men and the evidence is widely accessible. Would you like to see the receipts?

[Opinion Owner]

@SpokenTruth Idc tbh. All you men do is complain and say you hate women, but want a woman to date you.

[SpokenTruth]

EXACTLY! And I know you don't care and men in general know it too which is exactly why things will remain the same.

[Qdbrown]

How is being scared of marriage, getting divorced rape hatting women? I think you backwards. Most men just fear losing their lifestyle, family and kids, and money.
There is no I hate women in that idea. Just fear of the unknown.

[msc545]

It is also fear of the complete lack of protection that men have in the legal system in the United states. Men who go up against women and Family Law Courts inevitably lose. Women take their children their property their money and ruin their lives. It is unfair and unreasonable and probably unconstitutional and yet it continues unabated.

[KrakenAttackin]

Absolutely not.

[Guardian45]

Once burned; twice shy.

[lottiebannotie]

Sure just sign a pre nuptial agreement if you're that worried

[msc545]

Prenuptial agreements don't work

[KrakenAttackin]

Prenups are a joke.

[lottiebannotie]

1) Why don't they
2) Why would you consider marrying someone who you are concerned is trying to fleece you
3) Surely you would be in a relationship with someone you feel is in touch with your life and therefore financially independent anyway

[KrakenAttackin]

"Why would you consider marrying someone who you are concerned is trying to fleece you"
Said every gold digger/child stealer in history.

[lottiebannotie]

🤣🤣🤣 oh dear your life experience must really suck bless you

[KrakenAttackin]

😁😁😁🖕🖕🖕

[msc545]

Prenups don't work because Judges can and do often choose to ignore them

[lottiebannotie]

Surely they can't if it's a legal document witnessed and signed with lawyers

[msc545]

They most certainly can, and they do. hekmatfamilylaw.com/.../

[lottiebannotie]

That's not good I didn't realise that

[msc545]

Also, courts are notoriously biased toward women and against men in divorces. Combine that with all the reasons that a prenup is worthless, and there is no reason for a man to even have one.

[lottiebannotie]

I think marriage is wholly unnecessary anyway unless you are religious

[msc545]

Prenups are worthless

[SpokenTruth]

Prenups don't work because judges can and do throw them out. And that's not to include all the false allegations that can be thrown at men. Yeah those that rigged the system with feminism aka communism they knew how to undermine the family unit good didn't they?

[KrakenAttackin]

@lottiebannotie. Marriage was originally between Man-God-Woman and was the stable basis for raising a family and building a future. Gender roles were clear and marriage worked.

In the 20th century, over time, God was edged out by Feminism and replaced with the Government. Today, marriage is Man-GOVERNMENT-Woman. With the government being almost entirely on the side of women. Men are finally waking up after seeing their fathers and older brothers getting raped by the government.

Yes, now gay/lesbian can marry but I don't know why they wound want to. LGBTQ couples have fought to have government control their marriage as well.

[Fuentes]

Lol hell no it's not at all

[NathanDavis]

not for true men...

[msc545]

What in the world are true men? Did you just make that up or is it really a thing?

[NathanDavis]

if you know, you know...

or do not, if you don't

clear difference between both, though

[Iron_Man]

Yes it is

[Noah-z]

Always when its the right woman.

[msc545]

That assumes that you can actually figure out who the right woman is if there even is such a thing. my thought is that this is too much of a gamble for any sane man to take