Is marriage really a big risk you take?

[Paulalove98]

People say getting married is a huge deal and I am aware of that, I know legally, emotionally, financially, and mentally it is. From a young age, my religious dad has enforced the importance of it for me to have a husband and vow myself to the man I choose to marry, next year I plan to marry my fiancé at the end of 2024 but it isn’t just out or families sake, we deeply love one another and have never felt this way about anyone. Our relationship came very sudden and unexpected but we’ve brought out nothing but the best in eachother. He’s met my mom and I’ve met his mom and step dad and sure we’ve had a few bumps but what relationship or marriage doesn’t? We want the same things in life with goals and aspirations and we are like two halves in a whole. I guess apart of me is nervous because this is something I’ve never done before of course and I know this is all or nothing..

[LazerBean]

It's only a big risk if you didn't get the dating phase right. If you know that you have all the same goals in life, values, opinions on controversial topics, that all of your ideals for what a home family life should look like match up, if your personalities match and you rarely, if ever, have something to argue about, if all of the little details of what you want out of life match up together, if you two actually love eachother and it's not just your hormones speaking, and you have known each other long enough to know that that's really them and not just to show they're putting on, then the risk is not so big.

[EmyyWolf]

I don’t believe in marriage because I’m not religious and I DONT follow social conditioning.
Let she sheep 🐑 🐑🐑🐑🐑 follow the the herd onto the cliff lol.

But yes, if you’re one of these sheep, one of these Church-Nuts 🤡. Marriage is costly. And a 100% faithful-partner for life if not guaranteed. Because humans are animals and we have our needs and desires. We’re not made to be monogamous. The cost of a wedding and the cost of a ring to get started. A cheap ring is around 13k. Then you have to buy the dress for the bride lol.

And later comes the cost of a child 😂GOOD FUCKING LUCK WITH THAT…. 😂😂🍀 Thank Goodness I abandoned that g4Ya$$ cult a long time ago. 🫵😂

If I choose to have snotty kids, it’s gonna happen with a boyfriend, long-term partner. We’re not investing in no weddings and rings, and dresses. HELLL NOOO!!

[Still-alive]

It can be. just make sure you really know your partner so well that getting married is like a no brainer for you. Just think about it if all goes well its supposed to be for the rest of your lives until you die. It can be nice to think about but also scary at the same time. You should think of all the possible scenarios that might happen if things go bad for you two circumstantially. like what if you or your husband lose their jobs for awhile? Would you stick by each other through that difficult time? What if one of you gets deathly ill with some debilitating disease and one of you has to take care of the other? can you emotionally handle that?

I think it would be wise to just try to think of all the hypotheticals before you tie the knot. it can potentially make your bond stronger in my opinion.

[Still-alive]

know everything about each other. no surprises! you don't want to be 5 years into the marriage with kids and find out he has this terrible secret he's been hiding from you all this time.

[jshm2]

Then you are as simple as those people. Marriage is a tiny deal, but it's also a deal very few people get, and even fewer will enjoy.

Few people can make a marriage last their lives. This is mainly because they spend so much of their premarriage life doing nothing that makes them useful in a marriage.

Sure, looks and cash are helpful, but they do not make a marriage last. Even celebrities and billionaires get divorced. So my advice has always been to be the best you can, and marry someone who is going to help you be better, without making themselves worse for wear.

[Guido]

There are always risks in life and we cannot predict the future. Marriage is a big step and not to be taken lightly although with the divorce rate it appears many do. Marriage is hard work to make it good and to make it last.

When I got married, I thought it was a lifetime commitment however after 12 years she decided she wanted something different. Nothing I could do to change that. Second time around we have been together for 30 years and all is good.

I would have stayed the first time through thick and thin but it takes 2 and I was only one half.

I wish you much success and happiness in your upcoming marriage and hope it lasts forever.

[AmeerX]

Marriage itself isn't a risk. The risk is if the other person is suitable for the whole system of marriage. One has to keep the other grounded in reality. People keep talking about gold diggers and stuff but remember, this who problem is related to guys keeping checks out of the whole situation. Same for women who get treated like trash in marriage. They let themselves think that if the guy is going to treat her like a trash she is in fact helping the relationship. It is supposed to balance out somehwere

[CalmUntilAbused]

I mean... If You are capable of human emotions, it's quite the gamble, unless You truly know the person You're getting married to. Though legislation-wise, it's much more of a risk for the man, unless we're talking about the true, traditional, purely Catholic marriage. But if we are talking about the true marriage, there is no risk at all, as long as You're both responsible people. Just to be sure, how long do You know each other? Science says the hormone-induced infatuation can last up to 3 years, so I would wait 3 years since the beginning of the relationship/infatutation just to be sure.

[msc545]

It is a huge risk for men since a divorce can ruin their lives both financially and emotionally. For women. It's an emotional risk, but they sometimes make out really well financially and usually make out at least even if not better. The risk is your fiance's not yours.

[Nikki1989]

It's only a big risk if you don't choose your partner wisely. I don't know anyone that is in a bad marriage, including myself.

[Nikki1989]

And there is some total BS posted here. Weddings don't have to be expensive. Our wedding cost us $65. No wedding dress BS and no rings BS either.

[Paulalove98]

@Nikki1989 right! My partner and I aren’t doing it all out of religion or money wise though like most people would think, we’re doing this out of love and because we are saying”I choose you, each and everyday, through the ups and downs, through the good and bad days, sickness and health, on the worst of life’s events, etc” We also don’t want an expensive wedding, we want something small with a few of our good friends and some immediate family. Our engagement rings aren’t even fancy but we don’t care. Marriage is that signification of growth, endless love, and happiness in my eyes.

[CatVader]

in the west.. the big risk is mainly if you are a man. cause you can get financially screwed forever. cause that's how the legal framework is.

that said, if you found that special someone, Good for you.
also seem you are fairly realistic, everyone has bumps and all that.
so yea, God bless. you found what most people in these modern times don't. someone to grow old with and i hope you will.

[Kaamraj]

Marriage is a big risk but only the the man as most marriages end in divorce, most divorces are filed by women, most divorces are filed for financial reasons. Women get most of the child custody, alimony awarded and can take half your assets. So overall it's a bum deal for men.

[inhua]

marriage is a risk for many reasons

you can do everything absolutely right and perfect and it can still fail due to your partner not doing their part

[Anonymous]

Not for women. You get alimony payments of it doesn't work and you'll more money to marry an even rich man. You keep marrying until you've made it. For men it's risky because they will end up paying you money or they go to jail.

[Paulalove98]

We don’t have children together but we’d only like 1, maybe 2 but we wanna adopt the 2nd child. When we met, he didn’t have much but I fell in love for who he is not what he has. I don’t wanna do anything to ever hurt him. He’s been through a lot like me.

[Opinion Owner]

He has to have had something valuable. It's not like he's just an unemployed bum. You probably met him in school and saw he's someone that can provide once he gets his degree. Or he had some kind of skill or social status.

[hbg84]

For men marriage is a huge risk. They risk losing their home, their cars, their kids, and most of their money. Its lose lose for men.

Women risk nothing they gain a home, cars, money, children. In divorce they are more likely to get the house, kids, cars , and most of his money in the form of alimony and child support. Not to mention he still has to pay the house payment in a lot of cases.

[Twalli]

I am also scared of marriage, but like you I can't imagine marrying anyone else or loving anyone else as much. Minus the argument my girlfriend and I make each other whole. We compliment each other in almost every aspect. The funniest example is that she gets hungry but can't cook and I can cook, but I don't get hungry. So we eat when she's hungry and I cook it.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's less of a risk if you don't really have any assets. It's a huge risk for men, which is why we pay so much for extensive prenuptial agreements and various other vehicles to control the retention and distribution of assets.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Well to be fair, settings things for the end of 2024 is a good timeline for allowing yourself to prepare. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

And honestly I kinda think its a mistake to put a timeline on marriage since that’s just adding a ton of pressure

[slatyb]

Everything is a risk. Marriage comes with a number of legal consequences. But it's not hard to end a child's marriage. When their are children them divorce gets complicated.

[Unit1]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/qNQ2kV1OTPU

I have never really seen any happy marriages. What are the chances that i won't end up in an unhappy marriage too?

[madhatters4]

it's not without risks. but the benefits can certainly outweigh the risks. few decisions in life come without some risk

[Fireguy17]

No, I never considered it to be a risk.

It can be a fair amount of work to make it work, but in the end it's worth it, at least that is what my wife tells me.

[TonyMetal___86]

These days i'd say that's a big risk because the whole marriage principales have changed from the past, instead of bringing happiness and peace, it's bringing depression and destruction etc...

[Sharkstealth]

It really is up to the woman now in the USA. If your in for the long haul the man is most likely to follow you. Women are primarily the ones who leave in this country.

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

Yes, it is, and - like anything else - the larger the risk, the more you need to prepare for it. Make contingency plans, and then if the marriage doesn't pan out, then, hey, that's life.