What do you think about becoming pregnant without being married?

[Babygirl_S]

I believe in marriage so I am against it.

[Purpleronnie]

Couples who decide not to marry can still have kids. Un-planned pregnancies should not be terminated just because the couole aren’t married at the point of conception or shouldn’t feel obliged to marry because of pregnancy.


Generally speaking , while this wouldn’t apply to every situation , the couple should decide to have a baby , biology and nature allowing , and if the couple decide it should be with or without a marriage then that’s they’re choice.
Unplanned pregnancies are a whole different ball-game , and sorry if I offend but the womb-owner gets to decide this ! . So the sperm-giver should always be aware of this and take contraception seriously and not put pressure on the mother or relationship after.


Clearly there are other scenarios where the above can’t or shouldn’t apply.

[Curmudgeon]

bad idea. The WHOLE POINT of marriage was so there would be a defined father for the children, who also were supposed to be his. Sure step-parenting situations occurred even without divorce (widows and orphans), but the whole point was to have a defined male and female parent.

[mono_gram]

I feel like recently I've seen a lot more celebrities or people on the internet get pregnant out of wedlock now than in the past. Personally, I'm against it. Pregnancy is not something that should be thought of lightly—it's a big/serious process and part of a woman's life. I wouldn't want to be pregnant with just any man's child, but rather with someone that I truly like, trust, and would want to call family/start a family with because the worst case is that the baby daddy could just disappear or ghost me and leave me fully responsible for the baby (and no one wants that).

Ideally, I would want to be married for a few years and settle in together/get comfortable in the marriage before having kids.

[DishLady]

I think… it happens. If you don't want it to happen, take your precautions and stay safe. Some folks can be fanatics about this sort of thing, but as long as the child is coming from a place of love — from two people who love each other — that's the important thing. Not everyone has that…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t care. Why would I care what someone else wants to do with her life?

As for me, If I wanted a child, I’d pick a sexy daddy for him. And I’d not necessarily care about marriage.

[msc545]

More hypergamy. What you were really saying is the guy who gets me pregnant has to be good looking. I don't care about anything else about him.

[Curmudgeon]

@msc545 yep. They give themselves away, figuratively and literally.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@Curmudgeon What giving away does it take? I always said I like handsome guys :)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s like me saying “Sky is blue” and you saying I give figuratively and literally give away that sky is blue. A bit funny, is not it? 😁

[Curmudgeon]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 You know what? Point taken! Like @msc545, I may lament The World Of Hypergamy, but wereI in your shoes, or your skirt/dress, and with the body of a young lady with a vag (as opposed to a middle aged man with a penis), I might very well be doing that too! I can't blame people for doing what I would do were i they.

[Little_Bumblebee]

My mom was pregnant and had my brother, before she married my dad.

My brother's now wife was pregnant with their first kid before they got married.

My childhood friend has a 3-4 year old kid with her boyfriend without being married.

All of these couples are still together.

[Tonita91996]

Regardless what people say what is already done can not be changed like if you already have kids out of wedlock there is no need worrying about other people's opinions. I think if people are going to be judgmental they need to get a life if it is not effecting them then don't worry about what they have to say. I don't have any kids at all so the people who are critical need to watch out because it could be them. I don't say stuff about anything that I was not involved in and I don't know what happened and the circumstances on how it happened besides they have sex to make a baby and that's none of my business.

[noemiii]

Honestly who cares. Marriage doesn’t keep the relationship and neither does not being married. But to be fair, if I’m with someone long enough to have a kid, it’s about time to get married soon or already be married because kids for me within a relationship comes YEARS after. Too many people getting pregnant within 6 months to a year.

[Miristheiss]

Bad for the child, bad for society. I am married with 2 kids. We are a family unit.

Look at all the stats of the issues kids from single parent homes have. If you care about the well being of children and of the society you live in then you should support kids being raised in families and not single parent homes.

[genericname85]

i think it's stupid for the woman who does that. because marriage is THE social security system that protects women from being fucked over by a run away man who made them pregnant. so why would you get pregnant "intentionally" without being married?`if it's an accident, that's irresponsible. i understand humans make mistakes and mistakes happen. but i think it would not be mean or offensive to anyone to acknowledge that this isn't the right thing to do.

[desidoll]

I have said this to many women and I get bashed. They claim it is just a “piece” of paper. I suspect they are too embarrassed to admit that their partners are not willing to commit so they use that as an excuse.

[genericname85]

@desidoll well it IS just a piece of paper till he says bye and doesn't give you any money while you're stuck unable to work, cause you gotta rise that child.

[genericname85]

@desidoll and i think these women that bash you have been force fed that "you go girl" bullshit narrative of the successfull mother with a career. but that shit doesn't work. besides: not having a dad is by far THE worst thing you can do for a child when it comes to messing up their chances for a good development and success later in life.

[desidoll]

True enough 🙌🏼

[IronLady6354]

I got pregnant without being married. However, I also was engaged, and knew we were going to get married.

The kids were also born after we'd gotten married

[Goahead76]

Sad, horrible, heartbreaking.

Think of how many times that child will have to try to process the question of "where's my dad... why is he never here?". Reaching the conclusion at some point, "because he doesn't care about me..".
Not realizing this was all set up by their mother.

[Goahead76]

Child abuse by omission.

[KostasKouvalis]

I mean, accidents happened but you should definitely get married before you have the kid.

I was watching this TV show once and the parents said, "We have a 4 year old son and he keeps asking us when we're gonna get married"

I was thinking, "What the fuck? That is so wrong, and why would you admit that on national television?"

[IslaTheWitch]

my two older kids are from a relationship without a marriage... not a problem. At least not for kids, their father, or me :D

[Berethor]

It was less common before the sexual revolution, children are more important marriage.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_revolution

[Berethor]

I mean children are more important than marriage, and I'm not a religious person.

[Caroline91]

So what do you mean when you say that. Could you explain a little more please?

[Berethor]

What you want to explain, why children are more important than marriage?

[Caroline91]

Yes.

[Berethor]

Marriage is just a ritual, children are what create true bond and continue the bloodline.

[Caroline91]

Well, I would agree marriage can be a ritual, particularly if it occurs in a religious setting. However, I also view it as a social contract with pretty much the history of the human race behind it. I completely agree that children are a large part of a true bond between a couple. I also think the intent of marriage as a social contract is to protect any children and protect the family unit. And I fell the loss of respect for that traditional social bond is one of many factors contributing to the current deterioration of our social structure. I do appreciate your thoughts on it.

[Berethor]

Yea in the past there was no child support, so long marriage was needed for protection.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_support

[PeachyPie93]

I never wanted that, but considering how people are now days, that is probably the only way I will have kids so I will just make sure the dad is good looking and his family has no ailments lol.

[desidoll]

I am against it. While it doesn’t make difference to some women, the exception to this case is very low. I have seen too many women fucked up, struggling as a single mum without child support.

[Apple1996]

It makes no difference. I've done both. Only thing is the dad has to admit paternity to be on the birth certificate if the couple isn't married.

[msc545]

Here let me translate what this actually means. What you mean Here is the guy who gets me pregnant. Has to pay for it.

[Apple1996]

@msc545 well my husband very willingly signed the paper 😂 he isn't a piece of shit dad

[msc545]

He also pays for you AND the kid. You pay for nothing.

[Apple1996]

@msc545 umm I paid for our 1st child for a long time until he got a job. And I have paid for many things that we own

[Apple1996]

@msc545 also my husband makes a lot more money from being married and having kids. Without us he'd literally have nothing

[msc545]

without you, he would not need to work his ass off.

[Apple1996]

@msc545 without me he'd be working the same exact job but making much less 😆

[msc545]

OIC - you gave him a raise?

[Apple1996]

@msc545 being married and having kids gives 50% more pay and a housing allowance

[Apple1996]

@msc545 also more pay for family separation while deployed

[ElenaNazrova]

Do not get separated you looks much happier with him lol.

[Apple1996]

@ElenaNazrova oh yeah I didn't mean get separated like divorce. It's just called that when the family is apart from each other

[ElenaNazrova]

Got it, how many kids do you have?

[Apple1996]

@ElenaNazrova I'm pregnant with my 5th 😊

[ElenaNazrova]

Oh oh so cute. It's mean you guys love each other much more🙂

[JacobJordan]

I would say if you know you are going to be with that person forever the marriage becomes less important as it is really just a party and you don't need it.

[BarryLiverstone]

Think while many don’t plan on this to happen, that many babies are made by accident or when not planned.

[Babygirl_S]

Where are babies made by accident? 😮

[BarryLiverstone]

All across the world. People have sex for many reasons and that can result in a pregnancy that was unplanned

[BarryLiverstone]

www.unfpa.org/.../nearly-half-all-pregnancies-are-unintended-global-crisis-says-new-unfpa-report

[Apple1996]

I've made 4 babies on accident 😂

[Pillubi]

Depends on the factors. Not totally in favour and neither extremely against. I need to know the exact situation before making a judgement.

[AmyHew1tt]

Nothing wrong with it. My parents aren't married, and they're more solid together than any legally bound people I know.

[exitseven]

if you can financially support a child I guess it is a personal choice. If it is just a way to get more welfare benefits it is a horrible trick to play on a little kid.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Although it’s not ideal for my beliefs, I am a single mother who’s never been married. Of course, if you have a great partner, it doesn’t matter whether you’re married or not it makes all the difference.