What's the real reason we get excited about weddings, even as an atheist?

[Anonymous]

Even though our plans of getting married really started as a bargain between us (we're not in love, not infatuated but he knows the deal and agreed to it), there are still feelings involved too, just differently than younger people in their early 20's. I might not be madly in love but developed a deep appreciation and fondness for him. I do like him and plan on remaining his loyal companion out of morals and character.

Yet I'm excited for my wedding. I've never had this happened before. My own wedding and me and my parents as the organizers of the event, wow. We're both atheists and it'll be done at a courthouse.

I've realized that even before modern dating, we always got excited about our own weddings. I guess it's our own female nature. I even drank at home. What's the real reason we get excited about a wedding, esp our own?

[RavVid]

First pagans got fairly excited about weddings and started the big party thing.

I think the bride gets excited because it is lavish party all about ME. To be honest it was a big deal before women started divorcing the father of their children when youngest child made primary school and the Dad wasn't needed for child minding as much.

Spleen over.

I do wish you joy even though you are not in love and not infatuated. What you are describing sounds like mature love and appreciation of an admirable person. So a happy life forward together.

[Asker]

Thank you and yes some women are ruining marriages with the divorcing for no real valid reasons. If they stop doing that then more men would be into marriage.
Yes I am happy even without being infatuated (in love) and looking forward towards long-term commitment and union of the family.

[gorydetails]

Because it's innate to us to pair up and create a family.

[Asker]

True. It's human nature.

[b_lova]

A wedding day is just another day. It's been overly glamorize by society and I don't mean to minimize the day of your union, but I wouldn't let that day break the bank like so many people do. As you embark on a new life journey I don't see the need to it also enter that life with great amounts of debt or a diminishing of resources that will be helpful through the course of the relationship.

[Asker]

My father said he'll pay for my wedding, the food, drinks and party. He's been savings money for years and will use some of his savings. I calculated there will be about 20 people, can be a bit less. My other extended family members and friends is what is adding up. I'll still select the cheaper wedding version.

[Asker]

Hopefully it's not that much. I'll try to make it simpler for him.

[wiltingrosepetal]

I've never wanted a wedding, but I want marriage. Weddings are feminine and pretty, big dresses, colours, romance and family. But if I get stressed planning my birthday, I'm going to pull my hair out on my wedding... it's just not a fun idea.

But having a life partner? Someone to take to every party, to wake up beside, to build a life with, to have a family with? That's exciting. I'm not sure why anyone gets excited over the ceremony when your entire life comes after it

[Asker]

Yeah it's great to have a life partner, a permanent companion. I'll finally get that after my wedding. Finally.

[HawkPerception]

It's a nice thought and concept. The celebration of a man and a woman coming together and choosing each other for life with family and friends invited. Great food, drinks, activities, music... an epic party that signifies the next phase in your life together. I think anyone would get excited over that.

[Asker]

Well described. Thanks. Yup. There will definitely will be drinks. Baileys Irish cream is my favorite.

[HawkPerception]

Love Bailey's too, although it is a bit sweet to have too much of it, but one cup won't kill ya

[bobby_bush_eater]

A sign of formal union and commitment is still a big deal even if you're not religious. An outright sign (a wedding ring and wedding) that a man has committed to you and vowed to do life with you from here on out. It's a special thing in my opinion

[Asker]

Well said

[Alwayreckles93]

Personally I don't get excited about wedding. Well at least in my case. I understand each and every individual are in different situations and have a good supported family system. In my way to much drama. I say get get married instead of throwing a huge party just used that money with the love of you're life travel together make memories together.

[jshm2]

Because your tax allowance will be higher and you will qualify for several benefits. But more than that you know his dick is yours, you get half if he decides to stick it in anyone else.

As far as religion goes, you're not married, just legally wed is all. It's like getting a fake Gucci bag that is 99% accurate. To those not in the know it may be "as good" as a genuine bag. But to Gucci and those that matter, it's not the real deal.

[Asker]

If he cheats well then that's his fault. I'm doing my part in being his loyal companion for life. As a Latina woman, we generally live by our words and promises. We don't play games. Off course if a man wrongs me, then he gets hated by my friends and family.

[Asker]

I'm making the wedding easy for my fiance. He doesn't have to pay anything for it. My father said he'll pay for my wedding, the food, the drinks and party.

[WhitneySnow]

A sense of romance. You can be an atheist and still be romantic.

[Asker]

Very indeed. It still has these same elements as for religious people:
- A celebration party right afterwards
- My bride dress (I rarely wear dresses until exceptional)
- My family and friends there
- The drinks for sure. I'll have Baileys Irish cream
- Our vows and lifetime commitment

[WhitneySnow]

Exactly!

[slatyb]

Atheists do get married. We did. It's a commitment, a promise worth celebrating.

[Asker]

Yeah they do. The best part is definitely what comes after the wedding party; lifetime commitment.

[exitseven]

I think every girl has been planning their wedding their whole life.

[Asker]

Yup very true. It comes from the time we're little girls playing with our doll house that comes with family dolls.

[Justneedtokno]

Blending the families not to be alone forever some of those things

[Asker]

Yup very true

[Justneedtokno]

I didn’t think about marriage until after College. Not that it was not unattainable a lot of people just seem unhappy at their babymom always complaining some happy but. No, I look on Pinterest I until recent had a person in mind and everything.

[Anonymous]

because of social media and getting to brag to everyone and show off your ring.

[Asker]

The only person I would happily brag about it to is my annoying ex boyfriend that keeps contacting me under different numbers. I've blocked him but he always find a new number and won't stop.

[Opinion Owner]

i hope you sort that out soon, that could get dangerous and is harassment and stalking

[Asker]

Yeah if he continues I'll report him. I'll get a new number soon and he won't have any way to contact me.

[Paul09]

I just like the eating, drinking and dancing part.

[Asker]

Yeah there will be a party with food and drinks. I'll be having Baileys Irish cream.

[Paul09]

I love my rum and coke. Helps me get on the dance floor.

[Asker]

Cool. I like that one too. That was the final cocktail I drank on my b-day. We call it Cuba Libre cocktail.

[Paul09]

I like the sound of that.

[bobalife]

I simply just love seeing happy couples, being a part of celebrating a new chapter for those I cared about, receives reminders that true love does exist, and being inspired by their love :)

[Asker]

Yeah, looking forward for that date. Finally

[Anonymous]

secular marriages are doomed to fail anyway. the marriage vows mean nothing today in a society whose culture is dictated around liberalism and selfishness

[Asker]

It's not my fault if other people get married just base on falling in love (that fades, it's not just falling in love; that's overrated) instead of the responsibilities within a lifetime commitment.

[Opinion Owner]

and what responsibilities do you believe these secular marriages fail to grasp without one or both partners feeling they're being "controlled"?

[Asker]

Forming a family (I'm 37 and still fertile), bringing harmony in the house, helping out with the bills, keeping a clean house, attend each others', communication every day, mutual respect, trust and stability. He would have the power if I were at hospital and had to make medical decisions, something a boyfriend can't do.

[Asker]

It's better to get married when you're not feeling like you're on cloud 9 sensation that allows you to fantasize about them too much and makes you see them perfect. It's better to marry a companion you're compatible with and don't see them as perfect but as reliable, trusted life partner. Those that married because they're madly in love with each other will be heading towards divorce soon once that chemistry in the brains fades.

[SotiCoto]

"We"? Who is this "we" you speak of?
Would you mind not trying to rope others into your odd fanaticism?

[Asker]

My fiance and me off course. We're getting married after all.

[Anonymous]

Other peoples because I'm not getting one of my own

A bar with someelse footing the bill and opportunity to don a suit

My own fictional one
A new ring and some tax breaks

[Asker]

So you're basically marrying yourself. I calculate about 20 people will be at my wedding.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah well nobody likes me so I won't be getting married

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear that. I think it's never late to still try dating. You might find the person when you least expect it.

[Opinion Owner]

I've quit all that and can spend more time working

[AngryCarl]

Beats the hell out of me. I can't think of anything less exciting. Can we just skip to the honeymoon?

[Asker]

I love the part that I'll be seen on my wedding dress and having my family and friends there. Then afterwards comes the music, foods, drinks, party time. Yup, I'm looking forward towards that day.

[Anonymous]

Because its a party/celebration and its fun.

[Asker]

True

[KrakenAttackin]

From a man's perspective, a wedding is a funeral where cake is served.

[Asker]

Well there will be food, music and drinks afterwards too. Even if I'm not infatuated, he gets my permanent loyalty once married so it's a benefit.

[electromagnetic]

The party 🎉

[Asker]

Yup and the drinks. Baileys Irish cream is my favorite.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Weddi gs are stupid events for stupid people.

[Asker]

Not if my long desire will come true. I would sometimes even dream about it. I don't feel that same excitement with just dating; it's like a feeling feeling I'm experiencing.

[Asker]

**It's like a different feeling I'm experiencing

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Why are u getting married?

[Asker]

Commitment, to have a life companion that I can share my life with and have at least one child.