Do you think I'm a bad person?

Question

I have a lot of resentment towards my husband. He has cheated left me alone with two kids... He was not even supportive during and after birth. I had to take care a new born and a toddler with stitches (c section) by myself. I broke down because I was dealing with so much. I feel bad because I told him that I hate him and die. He never admits to doing anything wrong. It's like everything is my fault. He turns everything on me. Now he's telling me he likes someone else he wants his peace and he's tired of being a baby sitter. ... this is just driving me crazy. He said that I'm the one that messed up this relationship because of all the bad things I said and I will not find someone to love me.. Now I feel bad.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

No way are you a bad person! What your husband did was not okay at all. No one should have to go through all that alone after giving birth, that's so unfair.

It sounds like he really hurt you and isn't taking any responsibility for his own actions. Of course you're going to feel angry and stressed out with everything you've had on your plate. You have every right to feel how you feel after all he's put you through.

I don't think you said anything wrong by being honest about how his cheating made you feel. He's the one who messed up the relationship by breaking your trust, not you. Him trying to turn it back on you is just a way to avoid owning up to his mistakes.

You deserve so much better than to be treated that way. Don't let him make you feel bad - he's just trying to control you and it's not your fault at all. You'll find someone caring who appreciates you for who you are. Stay strong - you've got this and your kids need you! Let me know if you need anything.

ChicoFromThe305 · Accepted Answer

That's called manipulation, a big sign of a narcissist, sounds like he wasn't doing the part of a good husband, you don't seem like a bad person, just like a woman with a lot on her plate with a crappy husband.

ZamerZ · Accepted Answer

I'm sorry, but  what?  He's not a damn babysitter, those are  HIS KIDS TOO . He needs to get his shit together and show a bit of introspective and more effort. And if he doesn't, kick him out of your life. He wants sweet and easy - well, life ain't sweet and easy. He sounds like a manipulative idiot - and trust me when I say this. I have my past of being manipulative in relationships and I am working very hard to not be that person.  He's actively trying to make you feel bad. Don't fall for that. He already cheated on you and shouldn't feel more important than he is in your life.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No you are not a bad person nor have you done anything wrong. He failed as a man, as a father, and as a husband. Some men blame women for divorce while pulling shit like this. He deserves to lose half his stuff.