Why do prenups upset so many women and is there a form of prenup that you'd agree to?

Question

For me I want a prenup that says whoever leaves the marriage or cheats can't take anything with them, the other person gets 100 percent of everything. That way it influences both parties to not wanna leave or cheat.

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

Women don't like prenups because it is like saying, "I don't trust you." Of course she cannot be trusted; no woman can be trusted but she doesn't think to that level so it upsets her.

The law and family courts don't believe men and women getting married have the right to enter into contracts. If the event of a divorce or dispute, the law and family courts will decide what is right. Especially men getting married don't have the right to enter into a contract with a woman. For that reason, prenups are tossed out for any frivolous reasons.

Most young couples don't need a prenup because neither will have more than $25,000 which is not enough to matter. If a man does have considerable assets, instead of a worthless prenup, he should have an account in another country, preferably in another person's name, that his wife and the USA never knows about. He should never receive letters or paper statements. Only access it online and never given his wife even a hint that he has it. In the event, the couple needs some of it he get the amount needed and say he borrowed it from his parents, cousin, or boss.

In my case, I will gladly sign a prenup because I don't want my husband to have any concern that I would take his money.

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

I would require a prenup and have a good attorney write it up. It's common sense. We are both being given carte blanche legal authority in one another's life through a marriage contract that is a state contract. We aren't just getting married. We are drawing up a legally recognized arrangement. Some measure of clarification about what that means is reasonable.

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely".

RavVid · Accepted Answer

In contracts there is a concept that unconscionable terms are invalid. It applies to prenups too.

Essentially with prenups one side is saying to the other that I won't marry you if you don't agree with these terms. There is, inescapably, an element of duress in them.

So they can be tossed out by courts. You'd really need to check legally. You might want other provisions in case that clause is invalidated. In my country a prenup was found unconscionable and the wife got 50% for a three month marriage. You really want to avoid unconscionable and at least have provisions that courts have upheld before.

I am thinking that we might be best asking a woman, who wants us to marry them, to give us their prenup contract so there is not an element of duress from us. Guys are of course put under duress to accept the 'standard contract' which we should never do.

I guess that could be complicated in the US as you have 50 state Supreme courts.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

More women cheat than men and far more women initiate divorce than men. They don't like prenuptial agreements because then they can't abuse AND steal from the man.

I'd want one that says each person keeps their own stuff from before the marriage, each person keeps what is in their own accounts that has just their name on it, I keep any property that has my name on it (house, vehicles with my name on them, etc.) Any electronics that were purchased from my accounts (tv, gaming stuff, audio equipment, etc.), all of my firearms and related items, pets that I purchased, and NO alimony at all for either person.

The prenuptial agreement would have to have all of that, or I'd refuse marriage.

by the way, people buy insurance for their car and house, and that doesn't mean they intend to destroy it. It is just being a prepared responsible adult.

DishLady · Answer

Standard prenups tend to be fair. Unless there’s a particular asset that needs to be negotiated. I don't know why a normal woman would be upset with a prenup. Only a total gold digger with no intention of staying with the guy would REALLY protest against it.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

I'll gladly sign one. I got nothing to hide.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I’d marry for love but I also want a prenup that says we keep our own shit. I wouldn’t trust a mf who wouldn’t sign a prenup. And I don’t do joint bank accounts so whatever was already in our separate accs before and throughout the marriage should remain that way. If i get a house custom built, I want the house. If we simply bought a house (nothing custom), he can have it. I also want majority custody or we can split if we have kids. He can have the cars since I hate driving. He can have the pets, since I’m not a pet person. I won’t charge child support as long as he helps feed/cloth the kids. (I don’t need money, just drop off their clothes/groceries). I hope to never divorce (if i even marry), but if so, there it is.

HawkPerception · Answer

Well the main reason would be that they see it as a prediction that there will be a divorce, but they really shouldn't see it as that. It's literally just protecting your life and assets if things don't workout down the road and with divorce rates as high as they are nowadays, I think it's dumb to not have one. They should be mandatory. Every marriage contract should be required to have prenup.

I do agree that if a woman cannot provide for herself because she decided to be a housewife/stay-at-home-mom for her husband and/or kids, that she should be paid what she was making before getting married, accounting for inflation and potential promotions. But just because she leaves her husband does not entitle her to half of his financial success. That's a ridiculous notion. At the very minimum though, she should be provided living expenses by the husband until she gets her life together financially.

luvstoned4him · Answer

They only upset greedy women

Sure as a wife you would be entitled to something but no one should go into a marriage expecting to gain. It really should be based on other things but unfortunately the world isn't built like that and I think that is a contributing factor to why a lot of men reject the idea of marriage.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it can be offensive to some people bcs it can be looked at as if you are preparing/expecting the marriage to not last or that infidelity would happen somewhere down the line later on. It just comes across as pessimistic. But I do understand that it’s better to prepare for the worst, even though you’re still expecting the best nonetheless.

My ideal prenup would be:

All the assets acquired before the marriage solely belongs to the person whose name is under.
In the case of cheating, the cheater gets 0.
In the case of a messy divorce, assets should be shared depending on how much each party contributes to the marriage/the purchase of the asset.
In the case of a mutual divorce, all assets should be split 50/50.

LiamJHayden · Answer

1. It can be seen as a lack of commitment for someone who sees it as for life.
2. It can be seen as an impediment to the "divorce lottery winnings" for thos inclined to marry with the idea that if it fails, she will walk away financially much better off that before anyway.

Note: Be careful with premarital agreements. I have seen them tossed at the whim of the judge. One like you propose would be immediately voided as being against public policy in my state, California. So check the laws where you live / plan to live.

Account · Answer

I find it incredibly funny that there are people who interested in getting married which is supposed to be a sacred union of trust and similar crap like that, don't trust the person they are with.
It is like they are getting married solely for the benefits they might get from the government or for societal reasons overall.
Thank fucking luck that I don't believe in the farce of marriage overall.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I would not sign one that says who leaves loses everything. At that point I rather not marry because if a guy is a POS and I decide to leave I am taking my own shit. He can keep whatever is his and we will split whatever I helped pay for. As for kids, the guy can keep them since fuck that burden.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Unless the prenup is unfair it's not gonna be a issue with anyone who has any common sense.
I think the one you suggest is actually unfair though so that's probably why they dislike your idea.
It's unfair because it forces one party who may want to leave for a good reason not to as if they do that they get nothing while the other gets 100%.
Which is entrapment really.

Apple1996 · Answer

If they are marrying for love then there is no reason for a prenup. I've also heard judges can ignore prenups in court and that is becoming more common so I don't personally see a reason to have one even if it was more beneficial in my favor. In the end the courts will make things fair regardless of how many people think they are getting fucked over in court with a divorce that's almost never the case.

adventurous-1 · Answer

for some women marriage and divorce is a business they enter into knowing that they're going for his assets never intending to have a real relationship, that's why many women are against prenups as it limits their profit margin. Men are always at a disadvantage when they go to court and women plan for and cash in on that. A man is just opening himself up to grief if he doesn't require a prenup. IMHO

Peridot25 · Answer

I think the best option is to avoid marriage at all costs. It’ll save everyone, especially men, the headache and heartache.

DarkLegacy · Answer

It is typical women. They refuse to trust men but expect men to trust women. Pre nups should be mandatory in this day and age with so many women marrying as a financial investment and 75% of divorces being initiated by women. We also now have no fault divorces which makes it easier to divorce.

Fireguy17 · Answer

No clue, my wife was fine doing one, so I do not have anything to base it on.
It's both our second marriage so we are protecting what we have just in case we don't like each other anymore.
The neither one of us will have to as do you want fries with that?
Or I guess now it is do you have your code?

Ladsin2 · Answer

No state has 100%, but some are pretty stringent. That said women oftentimes find that asking for a prenuptial either indicates that you don’t love, or trust them. If you don’t love or trust them why should they vow to be yours and bear your children?

on the other hand the reality of the situation is that women file for the majority of divorces, so it makes sense for a man to want to protect his assets, particularly if he’s older and built his life in his own.

Ukrainianbuddafly · Answer

Because they are in it for the money. I personally told myself if I get married I want one. If you don't sheist me it won't even be referenced.

236color · Answer

You leave with what you came with. Would women be less inclined to cheat/leave if there was no money in it? Of course children change that calculation, but in their absence...

just_a_potato · Answer

"Marriage is supposed to be forever, are you expecting to divorce me one day? Really? Before we've even said our vows?" is basically what I think when I see a prenup.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Thats a REALLY shitty premise to solidify a relationship with a life partner!! Do you REALLY think those considerations will guarantee fidelity? If so you need a crash course in human nature! Thats not a pre nup, its a suicide pact...

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I'm having a prenup undoubtedly. It will be meant to protect both of us but I will not allow myself to be fucked over so easily by a government system for what's a sacrament to me

msc545 · Answer

Women dislike prenups because IF the court decides to accept it (Very Questionable) and doesn't invalidate it (happens often), it may prevent them from obtaining the man's money and property when they divorce him.

Anonymous · Answer

If a woman bears a man’s children, she needs to take all the money from a failed marriage, because now she’s left in ruin.

Dont want the wifey to take everything? Dont cheat, and don’t produce children.
SIMPLE 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous · Answer

Because most women want to retain the option of divorcing their husband and taking his assets.

Vegasrunner · Answer

You're making a terrible decision w/ that contract.

DarkCarousel · Answer

I think a prenup is a great idea.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Maybe it's a sign she is the wrong sort of woman.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

No signature, no marriage!

Why do prenups upset so many women and is there a form of prenup that you'd agree to?

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Do women find prenuptial agreements (prenups) offensive?

Why do prenups upset so many women and is there a form of prenup that you'd agree to?

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Do women find prenuptial agreements (prenups) offensive?

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