Considering the high divorce rate of non-virgin women should men remember the past when it was very important to marry virgins?

[Kelley1]

As shown by the chart women with one premarital sexual partner have a divorce rate 4 times higher than virgins and six times higher if two or more premarital sexual partners.

Moreover, women file 69% of divorces and in almost every contested divorce and most non-contested divorces women are awarded custody of the children, child support, and often the house and alimony. Therefore, considering bias against men of family and the high risk of divorce, should men view women with a body count above 1 as questionable marriage partners?

A study of all divorce-custody decrees in Arlington County, Virginia over an 18-month period found that no father was given sole or even joint custody unless the mother agreed to it. https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/a-study-of-the-dissolution-of-marriage-and-legal-children-guardianship/

Updates

1 y

Women were four times as likely to marry as virgins in the 1970s (21 percent) compared to the 2010s (5 percent), according to the researchers. Therefore, it may not be realistic for men to insist on marrying virgins. However, shouldn't they at least think about it, and, if they did, wouldn't that encourage women to be less promiscuous if men started emphasizing the importance of marrying a virgin which in turn would increase the percentage of virgins?

[SixFootSexy]

I don't think women have the same incentives to remain a virgin til marriage as they used to. The entire culture is built for making women promiscuous, to pursue a career and put family as an afterthought, if at all. Unfortunately, career success does not make women happy in their old age, when most of them wish they had a family instead of chasing a job they don't even want to do anymore. The guys that would've had them are busy banging younger women and they don't get the attention they used to when they were young and beautiful.

These older women end up with their wine and cats, that is good for the economy in the short term. But devastating for the economy and social fabric in the long term.

[Kelley1]

That is telling it like it is.

[SmileyLady]

Banging women young enough to be their children, who marry them for their money, then when they die, get a huge inheritance to spend on young male (and female); lovers?

[SixFootSexy]

@SmileyLady Hey, if you can do it... nobody is stopping you. It's not illegal if it's consenting.

[beefcakebradybatson]

No natter the post-lynching era, I'd have bopped younger buxom blondes !!!

[SmileyLady]

I guess that much is true. I get hit on by younger men and it grosses me out if they’re buying five years younger.

[abc3643]

It was never really all that important to marry virgins. For one reason, a lot of women were widowed at an early age. Both my grandmothers were widows and my grandfathers were their second husbands. And I know that my paternal grandmother got knocked-up by my grandfather before they got married which is why their wedding was 5 months before my uncle was born.

[abc3643]

That said, yes, many people - men and women - did not lose their virginity until marriage. This is particularly before the advent of birth control.

[Kelley1]

If they are in their mid-twenties or young and it is their first marriage, it is very risky for a young man to marry a girl with a body count above one. For second marriages, especially if she is a widow and still has a low body count it may very well be that the marriage would have a high probability of being very successful; perhaps even a higher probability then a young man marrying a virgin.

[Lliam]

That single, flawed and deliberately misleading, so-called study by the right-wing "Family Studies" organization is a joke. But virginity lovers rely upon it to rationalize their sexual inhibitions.
Those people have no real world experience.

Female abstinence is an anachronistic, patriarchal idea. Premarital sex (I don't mean promiscuity) absolutely does not prevent women from "bonding" or from being loyal once they are committed to a partner.

Any woman who didn't have any boyfriends before she got married has issues.

I submit that having boyfriends and experimenting with relationships without jumping into marriage is the best way to gain the life experience necessary to make good judgements and select a suitable life partner.

And I reject excuses for why it's different for guys who have had premarital sex. As if those guys capable of bonding but women aren't.

The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) is a conservative think tank that states its mission as “to strengthen marriage and family life, and advance the well-being of children through research and public education.” IFS was founded by William Bradford Wilcox, who is the Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, a Professor of Sociology at the University of Virginia, and a Visiting Scholar at the conservative American Enterprise Institute. Michael Toscano is the current Executive Director.

The Institute for Family Studies does not openly state ownership on the website, nor do they list funding sources. According to Sourcewatch, they have received funding from the conservative Bradley Foundation. They accept donations on the website as well.

Harry Bradley was one of the original charter members of the far right-wing John Birch Society, along with another Birch Society board member, Fred Koch, the father of Koch Industries' billionaire brothers and owners, Charles and David Koch.

In 2017, the Center for Media and Democracy (CMD), publishers of SourceWatch, launched a series of articles on the Milwaukee-based Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation, exposing the inner-workings of one of America's largest right-wing foundations.

[Kelley1]

Even though your rebuttal is foolishness, at least you did your research.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Unfortunately, a lot of G@Ggers seem to have ideas which are redolent of 1924, not 2024.

[Lliam]

@beefcakebradybatson. Yeah, like thinking that women should remain "pure". LOL

[AmeerX]

It's still preferred. Lol I notice your questions are feeling like you have not heard of world outside US 🤔.

Virginity is important in most of Asia and Eastern Europe. I think even in US my friend @Jamie05rhs would like to have a word with you lol

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks, Ameer. Yes, I agree. I desire to marry a virgin. I have chosen not to have sex for my entire life. I chose when I was 11. I made a promise. I could have had sex many times. But I didn't want to. Because I believe that sex is special. So I want someone who has the same values.

[AmeerX]

😊 please marry someone 🙏. I hope you know you are like my brother to me. I pray you have a family too and James Jr :). by the way you can actually find a lot of women to marry. Perhaps go to Asia if you cannot find a Virgin girl 😁

[Jamie05rhs]

@AmeerX Thanks, man. I appreciate that. 🙂

[Kelley1]

@Jamie05rhs At least some people on this GAG have good sense.

[AmeerX]

😆where is my honourable mention. It is our culture to remain virgin till marriage 🌻.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Kelley1 Thank you! I appreciate that.

[Jamie05rhs]

@AmeerX I think she was talking about you, too! 😄

[AmeerX]

😊yayy

[msc545]

I think the age of the woman is a better predictor of future divorce than body count. Low body counts do not immunize you against this problem.

Ironically, the amount of money that the man has is also a good inverse predictor of divorce in that the more money he has, the more likely he is to end up divorced, since he is a "better target" for this monetarily. The irony is that if he DOESN'T have much money, women will find him less attractive and will be less likely to marry him in the first place.

You can't win if you are male.

[SweetPi]

More make sure you love them before getting serious. People get to serious so fast now. Like sex on the 3rd date is normal so you can't have a good connection before.

[Kelley1]

In almost every romance movie that is not made for children, the main characters hop in bed almost before they have dinner. If modern movies represent our society wouldn't that indicate that even waiting three dates is too long for most people?

[SweetPi]

So agree like just a look and ops we are in a bed! Before older movies had dates long nights together coming home late happy just to fall sleep.

[WhitneySnow]

This is equally fucked up. I don’t think those stats are true, and even if they are, why are you so intent on sabotaging your own gender? This could be you in 20 years, especially if you get married at 21 or 22, virgin or not. Don’t focus so much on guys. Enjoy your life. Have a career before you get married. Don’t waste your life marrying some guy before you even graduate college just because you think he’s high value.

[WhitneySnow]

I apologize. If you want to be a tradwife that’s totally valid lifestyle choice and that’s up to you. But you’re still sabotaging your own gender by citing these anti-feminist statistics and you still run a very real risk of being one of your own statistics in 20 years if you pick a guy solely based on whether he’s high value.

[Kelley1]

Except for the last few decades, for all of human history, young women married in their teens and very early twenties people didn't think they were too young. Religious scholars believe the Virgin Mary was 14 when she gave birth; a common age at the time. Shakespeare's Juliet was two weeks shy of 14 when her parents arranged for her to be married and, at the time, people didn't think she was too young.

I believe, your head is full of this false modern nonsense that women should have a career and sow their wild oats before getting married. I hope you come to your senses before you make that mistake.

The best time to give birth for the first time is when you are in your upper teens when you are at your maximum fertility before your eggs diminish and deteriorate. That is when your body is more flexible so giving birth is easier, and your skin is more elastic minimizing stretch marks. Even your abdominal muscles are stronger so your belly doesn't get as big. Certainly, your recovery time is less. Furthermore, that is when you have the maximum strength, energy, and stamina to care for an infant such as getting up in the middle of the night to care for and feed your crying baby.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Kelley1 Spitting facts up in here.

[Dongie]

Haha, yeah, go find one. I know this woman has a count of 200. And with the treatment men receive I say stop getting married. Boycott marriage.

That is unless you find a virgin avoid it like the plague. What a career. Lay on your ass and get pregnant while he breaks his ass working. Divorce and get everything. That must make these women swell with pride.

[Berethor]

Virgin women are best, I don't like dirty women, yea I encourage women to stay a virgin.

[noohair]

Great concept, I think you might have a shortage of virgins, and you can't change the culture back to the middle ages.

[Kelley1]

Granted, it is unlikely the culture will change unless the vast majority of high-value men place a high preference on marrying virgins. If high-value men start choosing plain and even a bit plump virgins over beautiful young women with high body counts, beautiful and other promiscuous women, then girls and young will take notice and remain pure.

[noohair]

Can we stop talking about High Value humans. That idea of high value and low value was used in Germany by the Nazis to murder millions of Untermensch.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Untermensch

[Kelley1]

@noohair I am not going to stop talking about high-value. The ridiculous notion that people have equal value is leftist garbage.

[noohair]

All I can say is that I feel very sorry for you.

[RedInnocent69]

A better question might be why is the rate lower for virgins, and does it apply equally across genders?

[Kelley1]

@RedInnocent69 The primary reason is bonding. Sex causes virgins to bond. However, sex with multiple men causes women to lose their ability to bond.

[SmileyLady]

Or it causes virgins to regret being tied down to one man and more likely to cheat from boredom. Sex with multiple men teaches women to have healthier and more sensible views of relationships, more self confidence and teaches women to be better at sex.

[MicahRaine]

Reason #1,253 why I'm getting a prenup

[Kelley1]

However, do you trust the courts to honor your prenup and not set is aside?

[msc545]

Don't bother getting a prenup. It's wasted money because when the divorce happens and your soon to be ex-wife objects to one or more provisions in it. The court will set it aside and rule in her favor.

[Kelley1]

@msc545 @MicahRaine Some courts uphold prenups but, all too often, this is what happens when you sign a prenup (50 second video): www.youtube.com/results

[beefcakebradybatson]

How do you know non-virgins' divorce rate outstrips virgins'?

[Kelley1]

That is what the studies show; see chart. For more proof, Google "Do virgins have lower divorce rates?"

[Notherndude84]

Chart produced by some Christian nationalist assholes to keep women from having sex.

[Twalli]

The man can get everything if there's fault divorce, unless he is at fault.

[missindiana93]

Most men don't want virgins.

[Kelley1]

That may or may not be true. However, some prefer virgins and almost no man would reject a girl because she is a virgin. Furthermore, if some men don't want to marry virgins, is that because they are unaware of the extremely high divorce rate of non-virgins?

[MasterKS]

No link with the cherry my dear!