My partner says I’m not ready to get married?

[Anonymous]

I’ve brought up that we should get married for months now and my partners saying “your’e not ready” what could this possibly mean? This all started because I didn’t want to go into the city for Christmas and new year and we had an argument about it. He said he was going to propose there after the argument stopped and now because I didn’t want to go he’s saying “you’re not ready”. Im really confused as to why I wouldn’t be ready because of this. I always show him pictures of rings even wedding venues and he seems disinterested. Actually he has nothing good to say about marriage. We have been living together for 2 years now, am I fooling myself.

[HollyK21]

What you don’t want is the “shut up” ring, where basically you’ve twisted his arm into proposing because you talk and nag about it so much. At some point you have to stop pushing him to do what you want or be what you want and start acknowledging the type of man that you actually have. If you have a time frame for marriage or proposal and he’s not filling that then just be done. This is not the story you want for your future, where after a lots of begging and fighting he finally proposed, he wasn’t excited, didn’t make it special, just got it over with. That sucks.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s what I have been doing ngl, thanks

[HollyK21]

Such an important milestone should never be a chore, that’s not the story or memory you want to have when you look back. You’ve been with him long enough to know where he stands, and if he doesn’t seem that excited or even very interested in marriage then maybe he isn’t the person to wait for.

[Vesuvius87]

If you're not ready for marriage then he's not ready for anything. Don't ever let a man dictate when you're ready for marriage. If that's what you want and you feel ready, he's not the one for you. Those were the same exact words my narcissist ex boyfriend told me once. I blocked him immediately afterwards and found better. I'm currently married and pregnant now.

Just because one man says you're not ready, doesn't mean other men think the same. He doesn't represent all the other men out there that are looking for a wife. Some man's forever girlfriend that he won't marry can be another man's wife at a quicker pace.

[Vesuvius87]

So my advice is ditch him right now, pronto if you haven't done so now. Otherwise, to still be speaking to him even he told you had means he's using you by then, using you as a placeholder, for the sex and romance and you'll be stuck on the friends with benefits position by then.

[jahaims]

You aren't ready. You don't even know how to communicate with him.

[Nikki1989]

Never let a man tell you whether you are ready for marriage or not.

He has some nerve.

[WhitneySnow]

He might have made that up to give himself an excuse not to propose to you

[Asker]

I never thought of that, thanks

[eagle1951]

does he think you have to many male friends? if you to that is

[slatyb]

It means he's not ready.

[Intheclouds00]

Not enough info to answer that