I will keep this as short as I can. I met this guy two months ago. Usually, I'm very slow to get feelings for someone, but right away, I felt like he was the one. Maybe I'm too excited to get married. PS I'm also religious and do not want to date. I want to get married right away and then fall in love because I don't want to have premarital relations.
So anyways, he asked me about a month in to be exclusive and I said yes, but it didn't feel exclusive to me I guess.. still doesn't. So him and I asked all kinds of important questions and we seemed very fit for one another. But lately I started having doubts because he doesn't reply to my messages and I can't really tell sometimes if he even cares about me…like I will say something over message and he ignores that message completely or responds with a meme, that annoys me and I have yet to talk to him about it.
So point is my ex called me one night and I answered. He said I'm coming over and I said no repeatedly but then he showed up at my door anyways. Not sure why I let him in but I did and we ended up getting intimate. I messed up super super bad. Not sure where to go from here because I have no feelings for my ex and wish that didn't happen and I truly want to be married.
