Am I not ready for a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Met a new guy whose really sweet. But right now I feel emotionally stretched thing from my hectic home life and I feel like I am not able to give this guy my full attention. I'm not trying to be an asshole but I feel annoyed that I have to give give give. I know I have been emotionally available in the past but I feel like I'm not getting my needs met. And I don't even know what my needs are so probably there's where this underlying feeling of annoyance is coming from. Should I just go with the flow or talk to him about my commitment?

[bobalife]

I getcha, sometimes, I wonder the same thing and feel a little emotionally unavailable is the term for this situation. It does get confusing because you are interested, but you probably have a rough past and you have a lot in your life.. so with this new interest, you don't know how to manage it in your life and your emotions.
The best thing to do is just be honest with him that you are interested in him, you think he's a really sweet guy, and you do want to see where things go slowly while you also feel like you may not be 100% ready for a relationship right now, but you are open to something more :) If he likes you, respects you, and understanding, he will be patient with you if he also wanna see where it will go.

[btbc92]

No, just end it. It definitely sounds like you're not ready for a serious relationship. But if you feel like you're in a relationship or in a dating situation where you feel like you're just giving giving giving, and you're not receiving much in return, then that's not relationship you should be investing in in the first place. You need to take time off for yourself. That's far more important than to be worrying about dating somebody right now. You can tell the person why you want to stop, but remember you don't owe them any more explanation. They have to respect your choices.

[Citizenkirk]

There are many different kinds of relationships in your life, and if the council of a trusted family member, like a parent or sibling, is helpful in helping you put a romantic relationship you are dealing with into the proper perspective by adding clarification too young relationship issues that only a parent or older sibling can do, than take advantage of that familia relationship you aleady have with mom or dad if they have proven too be a great source of wisdom from hard earned experience.

[NamerOfStars]

Hmm. Maybe. I think you need to ask yourself about what it is you need, and want, and are willing/able to give. Once it's straight in your own head, talk to him- gently, if possible. You want to communicate that you're a little unsteady, but out of respect and appreciation for both of you.

[Vero4567]

I think you should try to focus on yourself first, cause by neglecting your needs, it's like a constant disturbing feeling that might even lead to an emotional exhaustion. So, first of all you got to identify those needs. What is holding you back from being clear with your needs?
Also, I would suggest you to be honest with him in regards of the commitments. If he is understanding, he would support and wait till you are ready instead of being pushy.

[Asker]

Thanks! how do I identify them? I am trying to but I'm having trouble deciphering what I want from him.

[Vero4567]

What would make you feel happy and content? Is that happiness something to do with yourself or him?

[Asker]

I guess space and understanding. We text everyday and have hung out once a week. But he called me last night unexpectedly. I wasn't in the mood at all and needed time for myself so I rushed him off the phone. It's early in our connection so I don't want to seem like I'm not interested but it was clear he felt a way because of that. I can't give as much energy as I suspect he needs

[Vero4567]

Why not talk to him about it?

[VanillaSalt]

I agree talk to him and let him know your stretched... maybe he can help you. Perhaps just saying fuck this and laying down letting him comfort you is enough.

I’ve had to do this in a past relationship. Too much shit so I said fuck it all stopped my life ran to my girl like a dog looking for attention and then just knocked out while she pet me lmao...

I don't know what’s going on in your life but I doubt it would fall apart if you took a day off and left him pamper you.

[sensible27]

Dating isn't a game, maybe just maybe you need to think of it more as a journey than a destination. Does he know? That you're annoyed? Also, depends on what you mean by sweet ('sweet')? If you want time, tell him and if he understands I guess you've got your answer.
I'm not sure if I'm someone people should take relationship advice from though...

[ineedatan]

If you have to ask the question, chances are you're not ready. You've stated yourself that you're overwhelmed with prioritizing things going on at home and are still uncertain of what it is you desire from a relationship. Take care and reflect on yourself first, so that when a guy that attacks you comes around, you can give your attention towards him without feeling any type of burden.

[jshm2]

Kid, you've got a shit ton of important problems to deal with by your own admission. Why the hell are you even putting yourself in a relationship you know you can't commit to?

It;s like ordering takeout for three people when it's just you on a diet.

[rufurrealz]

better to be upfront and not just roll with it. i made that mistake years ago with a woman and all i ask myself is "why did i take that from her?" "why did i do that and more why why why why why..."

always be urself and not let urself be humiliated and disrespected.

[Anonymous]

If it feels like "give give give" and not getting back, talk about that. It's a serious problem. This will probably lead to an argument, but who cares? Arguments are bound to happen eventually. Either things get better for you or you split up. If he cannot give back, maybe it is him, who is not ready?

[Cage4]

Unless you're not trying to get in a serious relationship with him (casuals) I'd say to talk to him about it and possibly tell him that you're not ready to be committed in one/not looking for a date). Unless you're not having too much trouble home you might be able to go for it. But I'd say put yourself first when you're still in the dating phase

[mozay]

First of all you need to establish your intentions at the beginning, this is not try and learn, so it's best to be sure with yourself emotionally, relationships need commitment and sacrifice, if you are not ready , just don't jump in and lose this guy keep for when you are ready. All the best

[yamajazaki]

Look at it this way if you're too busy and too stressed your relationship will suffer and you'll start fighting unless you both want to make it work then no matter how bad it gets you can't take it out on him

[apple24]

For some reason, guys still ask me out eventhough I am huge overweight mess. I think if your not ready you should tell him. I always explain, that I am just emotional unavailable for that stuff.

[mick05]

Nah its not the relationship part probably the wrong guy for you

[Anonymous]

If you feel like you are being used, that is definitely something you need to bring up. If you just feel like the relationship isn't going anywhere, ask for a commitment. If they say no, then you may have to start another one.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/5DGYrCeZENw

[WorkFFS]

Only you have the answer. No one on the internet, not even friends know the answer except you. "Knowing others is wisdom, Knowing yourself is enlightenment." Lao Tzu

[colivares878]

Hell no if you ain't ready for a relationship just be up front with him plus it sounds like you need to work on yourself and figure out what it is you do want

[msc545]

You should definitely talk to him about how you feel

[ConstantPain]

Relationships are a waste of time don't even bother.

[Jamie05rhs]

You should talk to him about it.

[Smirnoff23]

Don't give up it will happen for you

[Clayaya]

Tell him that. Stop complicating simple shit.