Ok so here's the scenario a childhood friend of mine is really into this girl he's been talking to her for a while now like 2months they are close she calls, asks him for help, they have lunch at work together, talks about her problems, jokes, giving gas money, flirts, even go out from time to time all the stuff a couple would do right? He asked her out she told him she's not ready for a relationship...
She talks to other dudes I don't know if she is intimate with other dudes but I knw for a fact she's a flirt (she asked me to hangout I assumed it was gonna be me, my friend, & her) I texted my friend to ask where he was he said he was away taking care of some business he wasn't gonna be home. I told her something came up & I couldnt make it. She gets mad & calls him a hoe when she sees him conversing with another female but she will dwn right flirt with other guys at work (or at least entertain the idea)
He's asked her out multiple times throwing his feelings out there & she shuts him the fuck dwn, then expects him to be there for her no matter what its scary tbh I'm afraid he'll find out she messing around with another guy & he loses his shit
I've told him all of this we always lookout for each other but the boy is infatuated with this girl I don't know what it is he dropped all his side pieces, he dont really hangout no more, he in his feelings/mad all the time. (I had I slightly similar exp. when I was younger which is another reason this pisses me off)
What kinda relationship is tht? If you like a girl/boy a lot would you wait for her to be ready? What if when she is finally ready your not the one she wants? Is chasing after a love that might not be for you worth the risk, the hurt, the exposed feelings & lost opportunities at something real? if so how long would you wait?👀 For guys/girls who participate in this behavior do you ever feel guilty?
Yea sometimes she's worth a few emotional scars
Hell nah these hoes outcha don't knw what love is
I dont date I jus stick & move partner (hoe ass nigga choice) not judging tho you do you... hoe
Complex answer?(plz elaborate below my good sir/madam)
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+1 y
OK so he met a new girl (in S. C) tht actually likes him they aren't dating yet but they have been seeing each other for the past 3 days she seems nice & is funny asf but I think he still talks to to the other girl but maybe he'll be OK... right?
She said she's not ready for a relationship yet. How in the blue hell do you handle this?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I've got some thoughts on this. Let's begin:
". . . he's been talking to her for a while now like 2months they are close she calls, asks him for help, they have lunch at work together, talks about her problems, jokes, giving gas money, flirts, even go out from time to time all the stuff a couple would do right?"
WRONG! Absolutely wrong. Do you know what kind of "stuff" couples do? They have sex. If they're having regular sex, then--and ONLY then-- can we say they're doing "all the stuff a couple will do." NOT before.
Now, let's get to the next point. If they're not in a relationship (and they most certainly are NOT---she's said as much AND see point above about not regularly having sex) then she has no standing to get angry at him if he talks (talks? lol!) to other girls. Moreover, she has no standing to get upset if he fucks other girls. Why? Because they're not in a relationship!
Now lets get down to the most important point: who is at fault here. The blame lies 110% on your friend. He's letting this happen. She's done nothing--NOTHING--wrong! She's made an INSANE offer (you don't talk to other girls and you listen to all her shit and get no sex, 'kay?) and your buddy is such an unbelievable dipshit that he's actually agreed to it. You, as his friend, need to smack the fucking shit out of him and tell him that this is ALL his fault and HE needs to fucking fix it with a quickness. If he needs help, offer to help him, but for the love of god make sure this dude does something to change the stupid position he's put himself in.
Invited him to my house got him drunk & told him all I knew & almost I heard... he cried he's moving on but I think he just scared of not having someone (not that he said that at least not to me)
That sounds like progress. And it's cool that he's afraid of not having someone, but the reality is he wasn't going to have someone with that girl, so it's good to move on.
Ironically, they only ever get (ready) for a relationship when you leave them because that's when they will have to face the fact that they can't have a relationship without committing to one.
Or at least they (might) yeah... No walking away/forcing the issue is the only way to handle it if you want a chance with get or a shred of self respect.
I thought about tht but when I thought about it & put myself in his shoes I wouldn't be able to look at him the same after something like tht. So tht option is out
This girl CLEARLY knows your friend has got feelings and is just using him to the best of her abilities. I feel bad for him. She also very clearly sees him as no more than a friend because she flirts with other men but not him. I loved your clever use of memes for the options 10/10 would recommend lol. Good luck with your friend! Whatever made you snap out of your crush when you were younger you need to do to him before this gets any worse.
What made me snap out it... O. o a very dark and sordid tale I wouldn't wish on my worst... but I think I have a solution make sure to check back later me & my boyz sitting at the table plotting plans😈
i literally just got out of a situation like this you wanna know how it ends... she led men and got with one of her friends behind my back when i thought she was going to be with me and then proceeded to lie to me about it for god knows how long until she finally came clean when i cut it off. she almost got away with it too but i couldn't handle not knowing for sure plus i already had all of the evidence. these girls ARE NOT loyal. i would strongly advise you to END IT! MOVE ON! DO NOT TRY TO GET WITH HER! you will end up hurt just like me.
Here's my take. Your friend should just start searching for someone else. If she is magically becomes available to date once your friend starts going on dates, then it's up for him to decide. But if she is not going to date him right now, then it's not worth his time to wait.
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