Should I still approach a girl who says she is not ready for marriage?

[Anonymous]

I think I know the answer but still wanted opinions. I am guy from south Asian background. I know about this girl through mutual contacts and we have never met in real life. The idea was to getting to know each other before getting into relationship. We both know about this. When I interacted with her on social media, it seems like one sided. When I asked her if we are continuing this, she stated she is not ready for marriage, not ready to start anything even. She says she is going through something and won't be able to give 100%. She said I can go as I wish and don’t want me to hold thoughts for her. She said she doesn’t want to disappoint me.

I think she is saying truth and the way she can easily let me go seems like I don’t have any place in her life or even a small thought in her mind. It’s been 5mths we have not interacted with each other at all. We have never spoken to each other by the way, just texting on messenger. She sometimes likes my pics in IG and that’s it. To me, that is just a breadcrumb.

I am thinking to stop interacting, and ghosting her completely and move on with my life. Because it has not been flowing well since the very start. She obviously is not ready and approaching her still sounds bit pathetic. If she message me, then I will think about it. (I will give her another 3mths time). And that’s it. Thankyou

[PrettyPriya]

I guess it depends on what you are approaching her about. You mention marriage in the title of your question. If that is your intention, that is a hard no. You cannot possibly consider approaching a girl you have never met in person about marriage.

Now, if you mean to approach her about a friendship or relationship, that is a different story. Seeing as how you have limited contact, you are going to have to start small. First thing is first, you will want to meet in person, if she is willing.

You mention that she is going through something. You need to allow her to proceed with whatever your relationship will be on her own time. You have no idea what she is going through and how it is effecting her life.

You might want to take this sort of approach. Tell her that you know she is going through stuff right now and needs time. Tell her that you understand and support that. Also let her know that you understand that she cannot give 100% at the moment.

See what she says. If you can manage to keep up contact, that is a good thing. Just don't push her or she might just ghost you altogether.

[Asker]

Yes, marriage is the intention and we both know about it. Yes, to know more about her, I even asked to have a phone call. She has never responded to that. And yes I have already said that, take whatever time you need and reconnect with me. I have never asked her if you like me or not, because I know that we need to know a person properly before making such a difficult decision. She just seems so uninterested in me. I truly believe she is going through something but I just feel like I am just being an option to her. In our last text, we were both clear with each other. I even said, we might like each other or not and agreed on being casual in our last texts. We agreed on friendship. (That’s just a nice way to reject someone, isn’t it?) But I don’t want to keep my high hopes up. Likes on my picture means nothing to me. I am thinking to ghost her completely not even wishing her on birthday. (On my birthday, she saw my story but didn’t wish me either, this was even before we had a good conversation)

If it supposed to happen, it will happen eventually. Waiting on someone who doesn’t even want to talk seems foolish to me. Tbh, I just don’t feel good, that’s just my gut feeling.

[PrettyPriya]

I do agree with you that her behaviour is indicating that she is trying to politely reject. I don't agree with the method of friend zoning someone, but she might be doing that.

The only thing that I can say for sure is that when she says she is going through something, unless she is lying about that, she might really be dealing with something. Who knows what it might be. It could be something serious.

So, best thing to do is to see if that changes and she gets over whatever she is dealing with, unless you don't find it worth the wait to see.

[Guy13]

SE Asia-like Thailand guy ⁉️ I’m thinking you should be dating in person two years. If this requires SM and LDR then get out. It’s all fantasy and you are wasting the last of your prime years.
Id it is family arranged and dowry well that’s of course different

[Avicenna]

Your plan sounds good

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong with that.