Why is it a guys job to approach a girl if she is going to reject him anyways?

[Anonymous]

I still don't understand this notion that guys should purposely put themselves in vulnerable positions just to get their heart broken. Quite often I hear girls and women say nasty, awful things about men and guys. It seems to me love, relationships, courting is dead, there's that saying it takes two to tango well why do you think many men don't care about committing acts of chivalry? if you care more about your IG likes with your girlfriends than guys will stop caring and just have a numb approach of "fuck and dump" (ie: 1 night stand). I'm just being real, this is what most guys I know have told me, that they do not want to be committed because all girls and women care about is attention on social media and driving her career to make more money.

I know a few girls who have this approach but to be honest they are single and miserable. This question may not garner a single response but that just goes to show me women can't truly give a REAL definition why they think this way and what should change. Please if you respond don't give me a generic response such as "all men are scum" or "not all girls think that way".

[AmandaYVR]

You may not get the answers or comments you want because of how you have couched this 'question.' My recommendation is do not use all-encompassing definitive phrasing, and antagonize/warn people about what to say or not say.

There are a large number of guys who want nothing more than casual sex from girls. So don't disregard that element and distill it down to 'they only do that because girls only care about...' Come on. Even if the guys you are quoting would want more, if they could find a great girl, the guys still have to take accountability for going for sex in the mean time. (This is one half of the story. I am well aware of the other half.) Which becomes a viscious cycle/a self-fulfilling prophecy to some extent, right? "Well, she's good enough to f, but not to take on a date or bring home at Thanksgiving." There is only some truth to this. This is not the whole truth. But it's influencing the situation. The same as the girls who are social media-obsessed to an unhealthy degree. You cannot honestly pretend that merely one side is the problem here.

I ask a lot of questions circling around topics like this, but I don't do a set-up that is so accusatory or cut-and-dry, and therefore, most of the time, they don't 'shoot the messenger.' I get quite a handful of reasonably considered responses. You might want to try a less adversarial stance as well.

Some examples of what I'm referring to:
The Personal and Societal Benefits of Girls Taking the Initiative With Guys in Relationships

Which is more common - Guys pretend they want a relationship to get sex, or Girls play hard to get to prove the guy's interest is more than just sex?

Are you in a purely sexual relationship that you would like to be more?

If you are/were looking, would you prefer an actual relationship, or a casual hookup?

Girls, Single ladies: why are you not in a relationship?

Guys (single men): what do you want: a relationship, hookups, or nothing right now?

P. S. I'm not promo'ing myself here. I'm showing you that I have a considerable interest in this subject, but I approach it in a very different way that breeds more understanding and less accusations.
Also, if you didn't anon this, you would be more tactful about your words, and you would get more measured responses.

[Asker]

who says i want sex? I've had opportunities to have sex with different girls but chose not to and where did that leave me? Those girls distanced themselves and ghosted me or stopped talking to me. Women aren't innocent either.

[AmandaYVR]

I didn't think you were one of the guys who just wants sex.
And yes, women aren't innocent either.

[jgibsonian1986]

Dating and developing a relationship with someone are two different things. Dating is kind of objectifying to both parties because of the societal gender roles put on people. I think that if a woman wants to seriously get to know a guy, she should have every right and comfort to invite him to spend more time with her and vice versa. To me dating is something kids do to chase an idea of what they think love is, and that encompasses the whole "And he made himself vulnerable and romantic for me ♥ ♥ ♥" If a bitch is worth it a man will make himself vulnerable to her. There is no point to make yourself vulnerable if you don't trust the other

[Anonymous]

why do you feel she will reject you?

[Asker]

Because girls will most likely say no, so I just save the time and go by that assumption.

[Opinion Owner]

why? do you feel ugly?