Any advice on how my friend should handle this tricky situation with the bride?

[Anonymous]

My friends best friend is getting married. She was tipped to be the maid of honor. Both of them were super excited (literally I've had to hear her talk non-stop about the upcoming wedding for a few weeks now), however, due to the brides fiance's mother becoming more ill, what would have been a local ceremony, has turned into one that will now be held overseas so that his mother does not have to travel. I'm not going, I wasn't invited because the bride/groom are not my personal friends.

Even though everyone else seemed cool with the change, my friend knows she can't afford to go because she would need to buy/get a passport, hotel for a few days, plane ticket, bridesmaid dress which was already expensive, and all other expenses.

These two are like sisters, so I don't know what to tell her to tell her best friend. She's having like a nervous breakdown over it, and my advice of "well, you can't go then, right," did not sit well. As far as I am aware, I'm not sure anyone can help her because she doesn't really know the other girls that well and as far as financially, since everyone else is now having to travel, they have their own fees to worry about according to her. I think she said that the wedding has been bumped up to about 4 months from now to accommodate the health situation with the mother so not that much time left.

[Jessica405]

Why not have 2 ceremonies. One abroad and another locally.

[Asker]

That's a good suggestion I can mention to her, but obviously that's up to that bride and groom, not my friend.

[BradleyScheff]

I would say she is overreacting. I mean, I get it. It is a special occasion and all but sometimes, things don't go the way we want to. She just needs to suck it up and receive them after the marriage and do something together.

[Asker]

That's the reality she will have to accept, but I don't think she's there because this is her best friend, but I'm like, if you can't get the money, there is no other option other than maybe like Covid times, you have someone facetime you in so you can "technically be there."

[BradleyScheff]

Yeah

[Stevepro68]

Tough call explain it to them and say I am working on it you are very important to me , but I just can't 100% commit and you may want to make other plans. I had to do it with my brother's wedding 17 years ago.

[Asker]

I tried to tell her that, but she's just freaking out. How did your brother take it when you told him?

[Stevepro68]

He accepted it and changed the arrangement and venue so I could go. In restrospect my sister in law was laid off prior to the wedding and the cost of the original plans would have been a high burden for them. There was no ill family member involved. My sister in law's- sister to this day has never forgiven me for killing what they thought would be a perfect wedding for her family.

[jahaims]

They aren't as close of friends as they think they are if her friend doesn't know she can't afford all of that.