Is it normal to feel like you’re the problem in your marriage?

[Anonymous]

I've been married for a year now my husband makes me happy but I sometimes doubt myself and think I'm the problem

[Anonymous]

Sept reflection is a good thing. Very little people can do that. I’m not sure it’s normal. In general a lot of people like to think it’s the other person who’s at fault w out looking at theirselves. But that’s good that you have the self awareness to think, am I the problem. That’s one of the main things to fixing most problems in life. Sounds like your man does everything he can to make you happy, but something inside you ain’t happy. Most likely it’s not because of him. A number of me men have said the same thing or asked the same thing. Women have left thier boyfriends or husbands because they weren’t happy. They said it wasn’t him, he was perfect, he took care of me. I just wasn’t happy. It should never be a person’s job to make the other person happy. Sure they can bring more happiness to your life but if you’re not happy to begin w, him being there isn’t going to cure your unhappiness. So you need to figure out why you’re unhappy. There’s nothing wrong w you being unhappy in most cases. Maybe you didn’t finish school. Maybe you wanted to open a business. You need to figure it out while still remaining in the loop w your husband. Communicating.

[Sangita93]

In most cultures, women left her parental home to stay with her husband and his family. Traditionally, in Indian culture, after formal engagement, she is invited on almost all festivals and family get to gather by her husband’s family to introduce her with relatives and to get ready to adopt their family’s customs. This is in fact learning period for her to adjust herself with her new family after marriage. Sometimes it takes longer time to understand it. Women sometimes, if they cannot adopt this change easily, they feel they are the problem in a marriage due to internalized societal pressure to act as the primary emotional caregiver, high expectations of self-sacrifice, and, in some cases, bearing the brunt of blame for relationship failures. Their personal, self-critical focus on their own mistakes it worst, but in most cases, cultural and societal gossips and undue advices from their parental family create extra pressure. Traditionally, most women in new living conditions, believe that they are responsible for the emotional shortfalls and difficulty in adjustment with their new family. Most communities and society place the responsibility for marital success on a wife’s sacrifice, blaming her for its failure. They may feel that if they cannot perfectly embrace traditional roles of a wife, they are deficient. Lack of appreciation and support in their efforts in housework, childcare, or emotional labour are taken for granted, a wife may feel unsupported, leading to burnout and a feeling that her attempts to communicate are viewed as nagging and troublesome. This feeling of being the problem is also leading towards unhappy marriage, communication with their husband broken down, and leading to their voice feeling unheard.

[HairF3tish]

Beautifully said

[Nikki1989]

It’s more common than people admit to feel like you’re the problem in your marriage, but that feeling usually says more about the emotional dynamics you’re living in than about your actual character or worth.

[Master_Debator]

Is it such a leap to consider that sometimes, you are the problem? Everyone is the problem at some point, some more than others. And I think you have a problem with accepting accountability when the problem is you because of how this question is worded.

Like seriously, are you never at fault because of feminism or something? Why would you question if it's normal to feel something that you should feel? On the other hand if you're blaming yourself for shit he's doing, it might be partially your fault (like not having sex and then wondering why he jerks off to porn and talks to other girls), but it takes two to fix those problems... that includes you. Your side of a relationship never stopped just because vagina.

[OlderAndWiser]

Does your husband think that there is a problem in the marriage? Why do YOU think there is a problem in the marriage?

[Screenwriter]

Speak to a therapist about these doubts. There may be unrealistic ideas you have about marriage or about your faults. Professional care is a good start.

[WhitneySnow]

What is the problem? What’s making your marriage unhappy?

[TheLovelyWoman]

I think my husband is the problem in our marriage.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Problem of what, first you'd have to see if a problem even exists

[bowenw]

What makes you think this is a problem and that you are it?

[Caurav1997]

at least you're honest with yourself
Its absolutely normal

[BCRanger10]

What's got you feeling like this and why?

[beenherebefore]

I what context?

[Anonymous]

Probably not. Try and be better!

[Staximus]

The problem is you doubting yourself

[kaucky1]

You are not the problem