Did you honestly think getting married was a good idea?

[Anonymous]

If you really think that read here: https://jamiemaserati.medium.com/i-tried-to-be-the-perfect-husband-it-pushed-my-wife-straight-into-an-affair-d91098e0b7ee

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[jshm2]

Yes.

The "problem" is fools think that once married they have "won the game".

The reality is that life and reality changes once you get married. If you ignore both, then there was no point to you getting married.

It's like working and hustling to buy a supercar... then not working or hustling and losing the car because you couldn't afford its maintenance and upkeep.

Too many people work hard getting the marriage house and car, but forget that they also have to maintain all three. Nearly anyione can get all three. But only a wise man can keep all three.

[Asker]

Actually, once you get married, you're gonna want us to be in completely. All you've done is set yourself up for trouble.

[AviatorTom]

Yes. I was married for 20+ years, raising 3 children, before an amicable divorce. My ex and I are still on good terms, seeing each other occasionally at family events. I'm now in my second marriage, 9 years and counting.

[PeachyPie93]

Well to see the person you thought loved you just show absolute disregard for you and your feelings, does feel like absolute shit.. I still think marriage is a good thing. Tho I won't ever rush into a marriage again that's for sure. All a person has to know is they are just in the honeymoon phase at this point that it's hurting you but they too will fall into the abyss of hate and sorrow because a piece of shit can never turn into a diamond.

[Anonymous]

its a good idea if you pick a perfect person: good character, no major mental issues, has a good job and is financially stable, both of you align in terms of values, goals, lifestyle habits.

but otherwise you are better off just dating and never getting married.

most of these people who are married are just better at settling. very rarely do people marry the ultimate perfect or aka "right" person.

[usernameobvious]

Perfection is key or as close to it as humanly possibly in this lifetime 🌌 🤞🏻🤌🏻

[Opinion Owner]

@usernameobvious

but its incredibly hard to find someone who is close to perfect.

Most people have major issues. Can't admit it when they are wrong, big egos, can't take criticism, bad hygiene, childhood traumas that influence irrational adult behaviors,

[usernameobvious]

I'm always amazed how few couples are that stereotype online I saw trending years ago on Google "why do some couples look almost identical - facially especially" 👀 obviously the man's always taller, the woman cute and shorter.

[usernameobvious]

The real problems seem when some couples look 😕 so outsized or so out of each other's leagues - especially dimensions

[usernameobvious]

Let alone interests etc - no one likes a typical sport jock and ballerina combo 😉😄 pilates combo

[Opinion Owner]

@usernameobvious

people tend to date those who look like them. it's true.

[Asker]

Most people do not have the qualifications or the patience or the skills to identify when someone is seriously mentally ill. Mental illness is not like somebody who has a rash on their skin, and you can look at it and know what you're looking at. Mental illness is much more subtle and difficult to identify.

[Finchie40]

I did and still do , if you end up with the right person , not good if they aren’t the right person

[Asker]

This is like saying that a person walks around carrying a knife. Whether you can see it or not, it's still a knife. If they are the right person, they won't stab you, and if they are the wrong person, they will, as if you could even do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Good men suffer just the part of the deal.
Nice guys finish last.
And yes marriage is only worth it when you know for a fact she is not going to get into an affair or a divorce. And that is impossible women justify affairs and adultery As needs. As a good man or nice guy can't do shit. Just lose money, time and mental peace.

[Staximus]

I haven’t been married, but I would live with a woman for at least a couple years before marrying. My friend was living with his wife and everything was great for 10 years. Then they decided to have a baby , and she proceeded to engage in some major league postpartum crazy bullshit. It took her a couple years to go back to normal. You never know.

[slatyb]

Sometimes it is, sometimes not. Also there's a difference between a legal marriage and a committed relationship. Both can end, but it's more trouble to end a marriage.

[Asker]

It's more trouble to end a marriage, but you know what? If it's just a relationship and the woman gets upset and decides to hire an attorney, you're going to have just as much trouble, and arguably worse.

[BCRanger10]

Yes, I do.

I'm not going behind the paywall to read the complete article. I feel for the guy; I really do. But I still hold that the problem is not with the institution of marriage itself. It's with the people who are getting married.

[Asker]

The institution of marriage gives the person with the psychopathic tendencies the legal right not only to express them but also to be supported by the court in expressing them.

[BCRanger10]

The institution? Or the formation they had?

[Asker]

Apparently, you're not clear about what goes on in family law courts, but I am. Go take a look one time.

[BCRanger10]

Have you been divorced?

[Asker]

I think you can mostly read it without the paywall. I know I did. Try reading it and see what you think, please.

[Asker]

Yes, I have been divorced.

[BCRanger10]

Well, I'm sorry you went through that. I really am. I am married and deeply cherish what I have with my wife and my children and when I see what I have, to think that the life I have has been broken by divorce is more and more heartbreaking to me all the time. I may not have gone through it myself, but that doesn't mean I can't ache for those who do.

With that said though, I also truly don't know what further there is to read beyond where he says he's "going through hell", which is about where it cuts off. I've heard and read plenty of similar stories so, I do have to ask what more there is for me to pick up from this. If anything, if what I see on channels like Emily King or Jedediah Bila is true to life, then it only reinforces my original argument. Why were both sets of my grandparents each married for more than 50 years before my grandfathers died? Why are my parents about to mark 44 years? Why have many of my neighbors, whom I've known since childhood, been married for about as long (give or take)?

If you ask me, there's a whole lot more to blame that is not the institution of marriage itself. I blame many things. I blame the abject evil that is feminism. I blame abortion, birth control, no-fault divorce, and "irreconcilable differences". I blame contemporary cultural mores about sex. If we're talking about a crime scene, marriage is the guy standing over the dead body when the cops arrive.

[Asker]

The institution determines the legal response, and the legal response is the problem. The legal response treats men like fifth-class citizens.

[Godihateyou]

The best idea I ever had. This bitch wasn't the best for me but she's been ride or die for 22 years we in our 40's and she's still fucking killing life. Raised 3 girls like you wouldn't believe. Mean mugging and killing any retard that tries to fuck wit us.

[MrChinaski]

Meh. We were already tightly coupled. So it was really just a nice dress, a ring and a party.

[RareBreedOfMan]

I don't believe in marriage not after meeting someone who can't make her mind up.

[TheLovelyWoman]

I regret getting married at least to my husband.

[Asker]

I am certain he regrets getting married to you. What a nightmare.

[Just_Ken]

Yes it was a great idea, smartest thing i ever did.

[_Jenny_]

Marriage is not for me but congratulations to whoever it’s right for

[LazerBean]

It is for intelligent, marriage quality people. For everyone else it is not, because marriage is not meant for them.

[Asker]

"marriage quality". Right... LOL

[MissSunshine2]

I think that it works for some people.

[loveyouoak]

No, I didn't.