How do I ask my boyfriend to marry sooner so VA IVF will be covered?

[Anonymous]

My long term boyfriend and I want to get married sometime next year and we are actively trying to conceive. I found out at my OBGYN appointment yesterday that I need to conceive sooner than later and I should consider IVF as an option. As per most insurances, IVF is not covered under the plan that I have. However, given the fact that my boyfriend is a disabled combat veteran and that his injury affects his fertility, we qualify for IVF treatment through the VA. One of the requirements is that we are married. I want to ask him if he would consider getting married this year so that we could try IVF now since my doctor has advised me that I will start menopause early and recommend that I start IVF this year before I hit 40. I don’t really know how to bring it up to him or what to say exactly. I am in the process of moving in with him and want to breach the subject, but I am unsure of how to word it in a way that would not seem demanding or pushy. Any ideas? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Just explain it logically to him. Men listen more to logic than feelings. Not to say he won’t consider your feelings but feelings are usually emotionally based, not so much logic. So if you can present it to him than just saying I feel x, y, and z, I think you have a better chance. My question though is how long have you two been together? What’s w waiting till next year to get married? Honestly like using Chat GPT to answer a lot of my questions. Not to say I go strictly based on what Chat GPT says, I also make sure I do research on what is said unless it’s a simple little issue. But for this yes it needs a lot of thought.

[bowenw]

I suggest you just explain the coverage you have and what he thinks of the idea of getting married sooner than later to take advantage of the coverage while you have it and before menopause. If he's sure he wants to marry you, I can't see a problem. If it's too soon for him, look into freezing your eggs.

[Anonymous]

He is your life partner, speak to him like a teammate. You had a plan, experienced a hurdle and now you are tying to reach two goals you both are actively working towards. Be honest about how you feel, are you worried? Scared? Hold his hand and tell him your plan and then listen to him and his concerns. You can schedule an appointment with your doctor and have him there and they can answer any questions or concerns about your family planning. Good luck